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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not test for pregnancy so I can have a few drinks on NYE?!

128 replies

twwindow · 31/12/2021 14:42

I don't intend on getting smashed but would like a few drinks tonight after whats been a shit hard year,

Issue is I have been having u protected sex with a view to get pregnant. My period due on today and no sign of anything.

Would it be really terrible to have 2-3 drinks max tonight and not test (I know if I test mentally I could not have a drink as I'd feel terrible).

I hope my post doesn't come across in the wrong way just looking for some reassurance I guess!

OP posts:
Original poster
twwindow · 31/12/2021 17:08

Well I'm not pregnant 😔😏

OP posts:
GuckGuckDoose · 31/12/2021 17:11

100% I would do it, and in fact did in very similar circumstances 5 years ago - she’s running around quite the thing in front of me right now!

GuckGuckDoose · 31/12/2021 17:11

Oh crap so sorry OP that was a horrendously timed x-post!

Thepineapplemystery · 31/12/2021 17:29

@twwindow

Well I'm not pregnant 😔😏
Then crack open the fizz!
BertieBotts · 31/12/2021 17:32

Sorry, I would test.

Look at it this way. If you're pregnant, you'll be over the moon and can celebrate that (maybe with a small glass, or without).

If you're not, you can drink with a clear conscience and enjoy!

Wife2b · 31/12/2021 17:43

Enjoy your evening OP, next month is a new month!

Wreath21 · 31/12/2021 17:46

There is an enormous, and extremely toxic, puritanism about pregnancy and drinking (or eating shellfish, wearing tight jeans, going to work, riding rollercoasters etc.) It is almost all, almost entirely, driven by anti-choice, forced-birther maniacs who hate women.

Lots of women have a few drinks in very early pregnancy because they have no idea they have concieved, and their babies, if wanted and carried to term, are absolutely fine.
I got absolutely wrecked in gin and red wine when I was about 6 weeks pregnant, but unknowingly so - that foetus is now 17 years old and perfectly healthy.

Couchbettato · 31/12/2021 17:47

I went to a music festival and drank my weight in vodka and partied hard just days before I found out I was pregnant, though I was very early in finding out and only tested by chance as I had the coil.

I wouldn't be scared of a few drinks. People have had wilder weekends. Pregnancies happen.

ittakes2 · 31/12/2021 17:50

I find this all very weird. If you think you are pregnant why not treat your baby the same way you would if you knew you were pregnant.
I read a research paper once when I was considering alcohol during pregnancy and they tested children over a period of 10 years and the children whose mother's had drunk during pregnancy were marking up lower achievements educationally as the years went on compared to the children whose mother hadn't had alcohol. ie no difference as babies but as time went on more noticeable difference compared to their peers as young children.
I get some people drink before they found out they were pregnant and were reassured their baby was fine. But I don't get this projected onto someone who drinks knowing they are pregnant or wanting to pretend they aren't pregnant so they can drink.
This is what the NHS has to say.
www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/drinking-alcohol-while-pregnant/

Georgeskitchen · 31/12/2021 17:51

I had a night out with quite a few lagers and then followed it up next afternoon with quite a few hair of the dog. Unknowingly I was at least 6/7 weeks pregnant. The baby was absolutely fine 🙂

Dixiechickonhols · 31/12/2021 17:55

Enjoy your night op and best wishes for ttc in new year.

thedarkling · 31/12/2021 17:56

[quote ittakes2]I find this all very weird. If you think you are pregnant why not treat your baby the same way you would if you knew you were pregnant.
I read a research paper once when I was considering alcohol during pregnancy and they tested children over a period of 10 years and the children whose mother's had drunk during pregnancy were marking up lower achievements educationally as the years went on compared to the children whose mother hadn't had alcohol. ie no difference as babies but as time went on more noticeable difference compared to their peers as young children.
I get some people drink before they found out they were pregnant and were reassured their baby was fine. But I don't get this projected onto someone who drinks knowing they are pregnant or wanting to pretend they aren't pregnant so they can drink.
This is what the NHS has to say.
www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/drinking-alcohol-while-pregnant/[/quote]
These studies have no way of knowing how much alcohol was drunk or when. They only have testimony which is totally unreliable. Don't drink a bottle of vodka a day. A few drinks at 4 weeks doesn't make the blindest bit of difference. I saw a thread here once from someone who had drunk a few times before they found out they were pregnant and was saying they were so anxious about damaging their baby they were going to abort. So anything where people suggest a few drinks are going to do damage quite honestly really fucks me off as it fuels unnecessary anxiety.

BertieBotts · 31/12/2021 18:02

OMG sorry :o I left the window open, should have refreshed before sending!

Olliesocks · 31/12/2021 18:07

I’m sorry you didn’t get the result you were hoping for.

PiperHarris · 31/12/2021 18:11

Have a lovely evening and I hope 2022 brings you what you want.

coodawoodashooda · 31/12/2021 18:12

@Starcaller

Would the excitement of getting a positive test not outweigh any disappointment of missing out on drinks? If you test now, then either you can drink without guilt or you can celebrate the New Year with the good news Smile
Totally agree.
coodawoodashooda · 31/12/2021 18:14

@twwindow

Well I'm not pregnant 😔😏
I'm sorry but at least now you can relax.
AlbusSeverusMalfoy · 31/12/2021 18:17

New year 2005/06 I got absolutely wasted.
Mid Jan 2006 I took a pregnancy test (we weren't trying) as period was late. I was 6 weeks pregnant. Result of that pregnancy is absolutely fine and sat next to me eating chocolate. Have a drink you'll be fine.

AdoraBell · 31/12/2021 18:20

Personally I would say don’t drink alcohol tonight.

I had a vodka and tonic 2 nights before my period was due, period never arrived and I spent years wondering if that drink affected DD.

I now know that ADD and similar neurological differences are common in DH’s family, but I really thought DD’s behaviour could have been my fault for having a drink.

Rainbowdrops2021 · 31/12/2021 18:31

I’m in the same position and have decided to have a drink. I did get a negative test result yesterday but I think it’s possibly a little bit early to really know. I think there’s no way the alcohol can effect it any way at this stage to just enjoy your night.

WonderfulYou · 31/12/2021 19:28

Have fun getting wasted tonight guilt free Grin

crowsfeet57 · 31/12/2021 19:39

Look up foetal alcohol syndrome and see how you feel then.

WonderfulYou · 31/12/2021 20:23

Look up foetal alcohol syndrome and see how you feel then.

I think she should just admit to herself that she doesn’t want a baby right now.

Most people TTC wouldn’t risk a miscarriage or decrease fertility by drinking alcohol.

Original poster
twwindow · 31/12/2021 22:14

@WonderfulYou that's funny because most people on this thread seem to have been drinking until they had positive tests Hmm

OP posts:
Thirtytimesround · 31/12/2021 22:56

YABU. Why take the risk? I get not wanting ttc to control your life, been there, but why not just drink something healthier?

I had troubles conceiving, it didn’t happen for me until I stopped drinking alcohol and caffeine completely 🤷‍♀️

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