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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not test for pregnancy so I can have a few drinks on NYE?!

128 replies

twwindow · 31/12/2021 14:42

I don't intend on getting smashed but would like a few drinks tonight after whats been a shit hard year,

Issue is I have been having u protected sex with a view to get pregnant. My period due on today and no sign of anything.

Would it be really terrible to have 2-3 drinks max tonight and not test (I know if I test mentally I could not have a drink as I'd feel terrible).

I hope my post doesn't come across in the wrong way just looking for some reassurance I guess!

OP posts:
Original poster
twwindow · 31/12/2021 14:58

Also I don't have time to get a test now - travelling shortly and DH is driving he will say I'm being utterly ridiculous I'd rather him not know but he will get suspicious if I stop off at the shop.

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 31/12/2021 14:58

You're a better person than me. I would want to test for nothing else but to know for sure! Either way enjoy your drinks!

Cap89 · 31/12/2021 14:59

I totally get this. I tested last year on Xmas eve because my period was late. I was 99%sure I wasn’t pregnant (wasn’t trying) but had a test and thought I ought to double check. Saw a VERY clear line and was so annoyed with myself for not waiting till Boxing Day lol. An already crappy Christmas and now I couldn’t even drink! Obviously I was happy about the pregnancy once the news settled and now I’m sitting here feeding my gorgeous baby boy after a fun boozy Xmas at last, but I still reckon if I’d gone back I would have waited a day and enjoyed one last drink!

Withnailandyou · 31/12/2021 14:59

I think the reality is you won't be able to forget the possibility
youll be worried every time you drink that you are pregnant, and not be able to enjoy yourself

Equally if you then test tomorrow and are positive you've said you'll feel guilty and it will play on your mind the whole pregnancy

If you test negative tomorrow you'll still have worried allnight

Mischance · 31/12/2021 14:59

Better an evening on soft drinks than 9 months of worry and guilt if you gest positive tomorrow. It may be that the worry might be unnecessary - but that will not stop you feeling it!

StealthPolarBear · 31/12/2021 14:59

I had the same debate 13 years ago, decided I would drink but ended up not. I was pleased I didn't as dd was born in the September.
Fundamentally this is all about you and how you'll feel. As others have said, a couple of drinks are unlikely to impact on the pregnancy. But if you'd feel bad or potentially feel guilty if you were pregnant and it ended, then don't.
I hope everything works out x

MissMaple82 · 31/12/2021 14:59

The day I found out I was pregnant I went out and got smashed. I was 20, but everything was fine.

Original poster
twwindow · 31/12/2021 15:00

@Withnailandyou yes you're right. Not testing feels like a lose lose situation.

OP posts:
AfterEightMintyCedric · 31/12/2021 15:04

This post has made me smile...

I went to a NYE party 18 years ago where I wasn't drinking due to having got shit-faced the night before and my friend wasn't drinking because she was on antibiotics.

Turns out we were both big fat liars...our daughters - born 11 days apart - will be celebrating NYE together this evening Grin.

And to answer your question...I found out I was pregnant on NYE morning so although I didn't drink on the night I had been drinking over Christmas and all was well.

ItsAllAboutTheLighting · 31/12/2021 15:05

YABU.

Starting off the new year feeling guilty isn't worth it.
Starting tonight off with a drink, guilt free if it's negative is worth it.

Question is - why wouldnt you test?

ShinyMe · 31/12/2021 15:06

I've felt a bit like this every time I've done a lateral flow test this year (3 times a week since march) in that I don't want to test because it MIGHT be positive and then I can't do xyz. But ultimately, as others have said, the only thing to do is to test so that you know and then can act with knowledge. Not knowing either way just leads to worry. Dealing with certainties (no matter how dramatic) is ALWAYS less stressful than dealing with the unknown and what-ifs.

DistrictCommissioner · 31/12/2021 15:08

Similar situation 10 years ago - I tested on NYE knowing it was too early, it was negative & I went out to party. I tested positive a week later. DC is fine.

StealthPolarBear · 31/12/2021 15:08

I'm guessing op doesn't want to test as she wants to delay the disappointment or stress, depending on the result. I don't blame her.
In my case it was because it was too early I tested a few days later I think.

Opus17 · 31/12/2021 15:12

@Withnailandyou

I think the reality is you won't be able to forget the possibility youll be worried every time you drink that you are pregnant, and not be able to enjoy yourself

Equally if you then test tomorrow and are positive you've said you'll feel guilty and it will play on your mind the whole pregnancy

If you test negative tomorrow you'll still have worried allnight

This. I see no good reason for not testing now.
blueberryporridge · 31/12/2021 15:13

Why take the risk? You can have a good night out without alcohol. There are risks from drinking in early pregnancy. www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/drinking-alcohol-while-pregnant/

Bringonsummer19 · 31/12/2021 15:15

I would test. When you become a mother you make a world of sacrifices…might as well start now

Starcup · 31/12/2021 15:15

Get the drinks down your neck! Enjoy

Dixiechickonhols · 31/12/2021 15:16

I wouldn’t as if you are pregnant you’ll worry (if you didn’t care you wouldn’t have posted) my child was born a disability just one of those things a blip in blood supply in early pregnancy but I spent time thinking about what did it didn’t do eg was my bath too hot, I flew on a plane etc and I didn’t drink if I had that would have swirled in my head too.

Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 31/12/2021 15:17

You should test, you'll be worrying anyway, and if you are pregnant and something sadly goes wrong, I know if it was me (I worried that swimming caused my loss) I'd be blaming myself. Just test and if I was pregnant I'd be on non alcoholic but at least you're making an informed decision

ABCDEF1234 · 31/12/2021 15:19

I had a couple of drinks before finding out I was pregnant and felt awful about it. No way could I not test.
What if you find out tomorrow you are pregnant and the worst happens and you have a miscarriage would you ever stop blaming yourself / wondering if those drinks from tonight caused it?

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 31/12/2021 15:20

Take the test. God forbid that anything should happen to make your baby unhealthy you will blame yourself forever. Don't put that guilt on yourself.

Glitterblue · 31/12/2021 15:21

I'd had a few glasses of wine one night before I knew I was pregnant. I mentioned it to the GP during an appointment, and she said it wasn't any cause for concern at all and that so many people had that same worry.

HansSolo22 · 31/12/2021 15:28

I went out on the day my baby was due (sadly lost at 10 weeks). To drown my sorrows I guess you could say. We'd been trying again but no joy in the months in between. I totally let my hair down - I drank, I smoked (which I don't normally, I'm a ex smoker) and I danced the night away without a care in the world. I tested the next day for some reason and it was positive. I'm so glad now that I had that one night of just being me. Go out and enjoy yourself - it could be the last night for a while Wink. Best of luck x

Immunetypegoblin · 31/12/2021 15:28

Ah, I'd do whatever you think you'd be comfortable with. I conscientiously tested before my 30th birthday blowout - negative, all good, went and got wasted. Tested positive 1 week later. Ds2 is fine Grin

qualitygirl · 31/12/2021 15:29

Yabu...either way you will worry by the sounds of! And on a personal level I don't understand the big deal with drinking...can you not enjoy a night without drinking @twwindow ? Does being able to drink really mean THAT much!?!