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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not test for pregnancy so I can have a few drinks on NYE?!

128 replies

twwindow · 31/12/2021 14:42

I don't intend on getting smashed but would like a few drinks tonight after whats been a shit hard year,

Issue is I have been having u protected sex with a view to get pregnant. My period due on today and no sign of anything.

Would it be really terrible to have 2-3 drinks max tonight and not test (I know if I test mentally I could not have a drink as I'd feel terrible).

I hope my post doesn't come across in the wrong way just looking for some reassurance I guess!

OP posts:
UnderTheMoonlightWeDanced · 31/12/2021 16:34

I was TTC last Christmas but carried on drinking (not getting really drunk) I had a Christmas quiz, had a few strong drinks and woke up with a sore head and really achy boobs! First sign I had and was def pregnant - I did worry for a little while but absolutely perfect 3 month old napping next to me now :)
Most people I know were drinking up to the point they realised they were pregnant - not that I think this is a green light to “go for it get smashed”but I think you can’t quit everything when TTC as it can take years for some people. I also couldn’t rely on late periods or anything as my cycles ranged from 25 to 50 days so really had to just go with the flow!

UnderTheMoonlightWeDanced · 31/12/2021 16:36

I’d like to add that if like me you are a worrier then it’s not worth it so don’t drink (contradicting my first point I know) as like I said I did worry for the first couple weeks of my pregnancy even though I had actively made the decision to carry on with life until I thought I might be pregnant

Hollyhead · 31/12/2021 16:36

Yep I would (and did) I had one last big glass of wine (so probably 2 drinks) each time before I tested. The placenta is not formed until 5/6 weeks so no alcohol actually goes near the baby at this stage.

WonderfulYou · 31/12/2021 16:37

Just test now. Then if neg, drink with no guilt

I agree.

Most people who really want to be pregnant wouldn’t care about alcohol - they just want to be pregnant.

Drinking even small amounts can affect fertility and of course drinking whilst pregnant can have an affect on the unborn baby.

I would think if this is really what you want right now. It’s ok to wait a couple more years.

I’d also worry that it was positive and then I had a miscarriage and I’d blame myself for ever more even if it was nothing to do with that.

If it’s negative

Dguu6u · 31/12/2021 16:38

No alcohol is always best. You don’t need it, it’s not good for you. Stopping drinking will help with getting / staying pregnant too, but generally, alcohol raises the chances of illnesses as well.

BigYellowHat · 31/12/2021 16:40

Are you that bothered about alcohol? Hmm

Joelitta · 31/12/2021 16:40

@twwindow

I don't intend on getting smashed but would like a few drinks tonight after whats been a shit hard year,

Issue is I have been having u protected sex with a view to get pregnant. My period due on today and no sign of anything.

Would it be really terrible to have 2-3 drinks max tonight and not test (I know if I test mentally I could not have a drink as I'd feel terrible).

I hope my post doesn't come across in the wrong way just looking for some reassurance I guess!

Wtf. Fetal Alcohol Sydrome - the biggest cause of PREVENTABLE and profound childhood disability.
That's why.
MonicaGellerBing · 31/12/2021 16:43

FAS is caused by prolonged drinking throughout the whole pregnant @Joelitta not 2-3 drinks this early on. Ffs

MonicaGellerBing · 31/12/2021 16:43

Pregnancy*

WonderfulYou · 31/12/2021 16:44

Yanbu, there is no implanted fertilised anything yet.

I thought implantation took about 7 days?

OP is due on her period any day now.
So she could be up to 4 weeks pregnant, it’s likely about 2 weeks pregnant.

I believe the implantation part is when most people miscarry or miscarry later on because of issues with implanting.

Joelitta · 31/12/2021 16:44

@MonicaGellerBing

FAS is caused by prolonged drinking throughout the whole pregnant *@Joelitta* not 2-3 drinks this early on. Ffs
Wrong. Completely wrong.
Cherryblossoms85 · 31/12/2021 16:45

I don't want to be a fun sponge, but I would stop at one single drink unless you're sure you're not pregnant. Not so much because I believe it's terrible, but because if you are pregnant and there are any issues later, you'll never stop wondering. This happened to me. I'd just take the pregnancy test tbh.

WindInTheWillows7 · 31/12/2021 16:47

You can have a good time without drinking alcohol!

WonderfulYou · 31/12/2021 16:47

Can people link the studies where it says it’s ok to drink when pregnant?

I’ve never read this and it always says to avoid alcohol when you’re trying to conceive and once your pregnant as it decreases fertility and it increases the risk of miscarriage.

I drank quiet a lot as I didn’t realise I was pregnant so it’s not a guarantee you’ll miscarry, but if you’re trying to conceive and alcohol increases the risk then surely it’s better to either stop TTC or stop drinking alcohol.

Thepineapplemystery · 31/12/2021 16:49

I was due a night out when TTC. I tested before I went out and no line, got plastered. Tested a couple of days later, very clear line. Oh well. DS is fine.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 31/12/2021 16:50

The day before I found out I was pregnant with DS age 3 I was drinking prosecco in a hot tub, he's absolutely fine. It didn't cross my mind to test because I wasn't late. I tested because of the waves of nausea I got at specific smells. He's absolutely fine!

Onaloop · 31/12/2021 16:50

Personally i wouldnt. I lost a baby at 19 weeks and had gotten drunk before i knew i was pregnant. The tests came back inconclusive but I'll always wonder if it was because of that alcohol, even though it probably wasnt. Also after previous losses why would you risk it? Obv up to you but it seems strange to me.

Emerald5hamrock · 31/12/2021 16:52

Have a few drinks if you please, there is no need for playing a mind game it's silly

furbabymama87 · 31/12/2021 16:53

I always had the occasional drink as normal when ttcing, stopped as soon as I found out I was. There's no guarantee it's going to happen this quick and it can take months or even years for some women to conceive, you can't put your life on hold because you'll end up miserable. If you're a day late and that's unusual for you then you should test, though.

maa32 · 31/12/2021 16:53

I had cocktails with my sister the night my period was due, I thought.. I'm not gonna ruin my night over something that might not be happening. It was this time last year.

And now I have a super happy jolly and PERFECTLY healthy baby that was conceived that cycle, the cocktails did no harm.

All the months I spent restricting myself and worrying did more damage to me

Dozer · 31/12/2021 16:53

Have been in similar situation with recurrent miscarriages, feeling fed up with the sadness and uncertainty, feeling like things were on hold, had to not do certain things. For a time I used some unhelpful ‘coping mechanisms’.

So, was ttc, felt similar to you, had some alcohol, found out was pregnant and had another MC. The alcohol is unlikely to have made a difference, but having had the alcohol didn’t help how I thought and felt about it.

I had good help from private counselling.

LavenderAskew · 31/12/2021 16:54

@twwindow

I've just collected a test from chemist. DH surprisingly didn't think I was being ridiculous was quite sympathetic.

I figured testing was win win and not testing lose lose so is sensible to test. As if not pregnant I can relax and enjoy my night and if I am, even though rubbish not being able to drink but hopefully this pregnancy would work out ☺️

You're doing the right thing.

Not like you can kid yourself there's the possibility you might be pregnant. Not testing is only delaying knowing for certain.

As you said if it's negative you can drink guilt free. Postive, the a glass for the evening will be no harm. (Mind you having a drink was how I discovered I was pregnant once, I had one drink a felt drunk halfway through it.)

PamelaDoov · 31/12/2021 16:56

YANBU. A lot of women wouldn’t even think to test if their period was only 1 day late.
I’ve been pregnant 3 times and every time I’ve found out has been on a Sunday, because I wanted to carry on with my Saturday night plans!

everythingbackbutyou · 31/12/2021 16:59

@twwindow, I totally get it - I've had several very early losses and 2 ectopics. Such a gulf between a positive test and actually holding a baby in your arms. I don't think a couple of drinks on NYE before a positive test will sway a healthy pregnancy one way or the other. At that early stage, any losses are most likely owing to a fundamental genetic issue which you have no control over.

DirtyDancing · 31/12/2021 17:08

Surely the answer is to test- if you are not pregnant you can have a bottle of vodka if you so wish. If you are, well sounds like you'd have 2/3 drinks anyway. Surely testing is win/win.