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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I am so sick of peeing myself

106 replies

christmascharade · 30/12/2021 00:42

Seriously. FFS. Is this what pushing 50 looks like?

Someone tell me I just need to do some more keigels (sp?) and it'll all be ok?

Suddenly I finding it hard to get to the toilet on time.

Please give me some hope?

OP posts:

Original poster

christmascharade · 30/12/2021 00:43

2 DC in case you're asking.

OP posts:

PrincessNutella · 30/12/2021 00:45

That is not healthy or normal. What you need is pelvic floor physical therapy. Kegels might not be the right solution--they might be the exact wrong thing to do, in fact. You need expert help, and then you can live a normal life.

DramaAlpaca · 30/12/2021 00:45

You don't mention seeing your GP. That is what you need to do. It's not normal, it's almost certainly fixable, you don't have to put up with it.

Badgersmummy25 · 30/12/2021 00:46

Have you tried the HabIT dvd? You can get it on Amazon. It is the one that lots of women with prolapses and incontinence issues use to get them stronger again. It worked for me and also was easy to do x

Original poster

christmascharade · 30/12/2021 00:47

@DramaAlpaca

You don't mention seeing your GP. That is what you need to do. It's not normal, it's almost certainly fixable, you don't have to put up with it.

Yes, did that. She said it was just getting old.

I'm not sure I believe her though.

OP posts:

DietrichandDiMaggio · 30/12/2021 00:47

Not sure how you meant the voting to work, but I voted YABU because that is not what pushing 50 looks like. I'm in my fifties, had 2 children also and have never had a problem with peeing myself, but would have sought help if I had.

hamstersarse · 30/12/2021 00:47

No this is not what approaching 50 looks like for me either. I've never pissed myself, not even a slight leak?

Are you generally fit and well?

Pantsomime · 30/12/2021 00:47

Ditch caffeine

Anordinarymum · 30/12/2021 00:49

@christmascharade

Seriously. FFS. Is this what pushing 50 looks like?

Someone tell me I just need to do some more keigels (sp?) and it'll all be ok?

Suddenly I finding it hard to get to the toilet on time.

Please give me some hope?

I got bronchitis some years ago and coughed so much it caused stress incontinence. I have had it more than once ( I do not smoke) and each time I get it I pee myself. It is horrible. I wear pads if I go out. I do exercises but I have resigned myself to it now. I am older than you though and I still think there is hope. As long as I don't cough or laugh or sneeze I am OK ( that was an attempt at humour :)

Lavender24 · 30/12/2021 00:50

I think if this has just started out of nowhere you should see your GP.

BTW I found doing pilates and aerobics really strengthened my pelvic floor as when you're jumping/lunging around you naturally clench that area. Just make sure you wear a pad to start with! (I recommend the Deanne Berry Pump It Up workout on YouTube).

ToastieSnowy · 30/12/2021 00:50

Have you had your sugar levels checked?

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 30/12/2021 00:52

I have had a very slight prolapse for 40 years but have never suffered from incontinence or leaking because I am fanatical about the keigels and have done them for years. In fact now I sometimes have a problem letting go of it.

Original poster

christmascharade · 30/12/2021 00:52

@hamstersarse

No this is not what approaching 50 looks like for me either. I've never pissed myself, not even a slight leak?

Are you generally fit and well?

I'm significantly overweight but apart from that well.

OP posts:

RosesAndHellebores · 30/12/2021 00:55

I had a posterior birth with DS which resulted in a very weak pelvic floor and some bladder damage. GP wasn't interested in an NHS referral 20 years ago so I had a private urodynamic referral and specialist pelvic physio. It helped greatly but I think the time will come for a surgical repair. Am 61 now.

WorraLiberty · 30/12/2021 00:55

Yes, did that. She said it was just getting old.

I'm not sure I believe her though.

No, I'm not sure I believe either...

SkiingIsHeaven · 30/12/2021 00:58

Funnily enough I was doing my pelvic floor exercises when your post came up.

You need to do these.

onemorerose · 30/12/2021 00:58

This is me! Will have to make an appointment with my gp

Alayalaya · 30/12/2021 00:59

I don’t think it is your age. It’s more likely to be the result of two children. I would go back to the GP.

spotcheck · 30/12/2021 00:59

To pp suggesting no caffeine and to get sugar levels checked- can you explain?

Original poster

christmascharade · 30/12/2021 01:02

@spotcheck

To pp suggesting no caffeine and to get sugar levels checked- can you explain?

Yes, this would be really helpful.

OP posts:

Hairyfriend · 30/12/2021 01:05

Did the GP actually insert a speculum and check you don't have a prolapse? You can have milder ones which don't protrude outside the body, but being overweight certainly is a risk factor.

See a different GP at your practice and ask for a pelivi physio referral. I'd also ask for routine bloods to rule out other causes- UTI, thyroid, diabetes etc.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 30/12/2021 01:06

Did your GP mention trying a medication called oxybutinin? It was presecribed to me at under 30, no DC, because i have an over sensitive bladder nerve. It can also be prescribed for women with urge incontinence/over active bladder, and i beleive also stress incontinence.
If your GP simply said it's becasue of age and dismissed you, you need a new GP!
It takes an average of 5+ years for women to go to their GP about incontinence issues, usually when it starts becoming more frequent or heavier, rather than at original onset.
You honestly don't have to live like this, you just got a shit GP.

dinahsdishes · 30/12/2021 01:08

Caffeine irritates the bladder- you should only drink clear liquids- no fizz or artificial sweeteners and no caffeine. You need a referral to women's physio and also gynaecology to check for prolapses

Tarne · 30/12/2021 01:13

Caffeine is a well known bladder irritant so remove that from your diet.

If you have 2 litres of fluids a day, time them carefully so that you are near a loo within half an hour of having fluids.

Calculate how much you are overweight by and try intermittent fasting alongside finding out what your nutritional requirements are for your age and activity level and stick to that.

Practice kegel exercises every time you use your phone, clean your teeth or use the computer.

Increase your activity level and fitness level.

All these actions will help a lot. As will a determined and positive mindset. O am shocked at your GP's response. Was that because in you didn't want to take up any good suggestions?

Improvement takes sustained effort and determination but I can see how many people are unmotivated to help themselves and go into passive decline mode rather than take decisive active.

Pantsomime · 30/12/2021 01:14

Caffeine is a diuretic and stimulates your bladder, so you pee more
Often. it can irritate too so when you need to go you can’t hang on sometimes and you have to go. As the volume is there with the diuretic effect, it’s an amount needing to be out which if on decaf it may have been a dribble which you’d have a better chance of keeping in compared to a torrent

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