Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am so sick of peeing myself

106 replies

christmascharade · 30/12/2021 00:42

Seriously. FFS. Is this what pushing 50 looks like?

Someone tell me I just need to do some more keigels (sp?) and it'll all be ok?

Suddenly I finding it hard to get to the toilet on time.

Please give me some hope?

OP posts:
Original poster
christmascharade · 30/12/2021 13:54

@CrotchetyQuaver

If your menopausal it could be due to vaginal atrophy, depends what you mean by peeing yourself. Possibly not if it's it's a flood rather than a sudden urge and a drop or two. Vaginal oestrogen pessaries should sort that out if it's the latter, it certainly has for me.
What I mean is that if I've been sitting for a long time and get up, sometimes I'll suddenly realise I'm bursting for the loo and I have to rush.

Or, in the morning I wake up absolutely bursting for the loo and have to rush and don't always make it.

If I go out and have a drink (a rare thing these days!) I will have to be really careful to go to the toilet a lot or I'll find I'm suddenly desperate.

This started about 6 months ago.

OP posts:
Original poster
christmascharade · 30/12/2021 13:54

@batmanladybird

Does fizzy water make a difference to this?
Not sure. I do drink it but only occasionally.
OP posts:
Immaculatemisconception · 30/12/2021 13:55

There are two types of urinary incontinence, urgency and stress. Having a decent pelvic floor can help with both but coping with urgency sometimes takes something else. For example, low oestrogen can affect your bladder and urethra. Some women benefit from a pessary called Vagifem.

Either way @christmascharade, your GP should help you more. See a different GP or change practices.

annlee3817 · 30/12/2021 14:02

My mum had very minor surgery for this in her 50's and it's been a massive improvement since, not sure what she had done, but it was straight forward

Willowrose63 · 30/12/2021 14:15

Hi! I was peeing myself post partum (32 years old). Definitely want to echo what others have said about pelvic floor physio and caffeine! Another thing is fizzy drinks including fizzy water! I had not realised this and was drinking SO MUCH! I noticed a big difference when I cut back on it. A good tip I got from the physio is to watch what you have just before going out or when you're out and about. Took away some of the fear of getting caught short when out! I found a big difference with cutting back on these things and doing the excercises from the physio.

RosesAndHellebores · 30/12/2021 14:28

Something I found very difficult in the early days was the first community midwife visit. On first meeting (and she was a rather rough woman) she launched into a discussion about sex and pelvic floor exercises. I tried to explain that I wished to discuss neither with her but was ignored and she took her left elbow in her right hand and used it to.propel her left hand back and forth at the same time saying in a rough way ",if you don't do your pelvic floor exercises, this is how the sex will feel for your man and he won't like it". It took me a long time to get past that.

RosJ · 30/12/2021 14:29

Honestly, try a pessary device such as Efemia or Contiform. Lifechanging.

CottonSock · 30/12/2021 14:31

My gp did internal exam and bloods. She also noticed I had thrush. I have now stopped peeing the bed.

Embracelife · 30/12/2021 14:33

Ovestin cream .
Peri menopause /menopause can make things dry aNd this can affect bladder
Ask for a,trial prescription

Taoneusa · 30/12/2021 14:54

@RosJ

Honestly, try a pessary device such as Efemia or Contiform. Lifechanging.
Just looked these up. Brilliant! Thanks for sharing, very useful, didn’t know such a thing existed.

I’ve found taking wild yam has helped me not have to rush the loo desperately.

Howareyouflower · 30/12/2021 14:58

See another GP. This is disgraceful. It isn't normal, and you don't have to put up with it. I am 72, and have a sensitive bladder. When I went to the GP in tears after having got up NINE times one night, he prescribed tablets, and now I'm not rushing to the loo every ten minutes,( and sometimes not making it.) My Mum's friend had an operation to help her. There are things that can help. What is your GP suggesting, that you put up with this for possibly 40 years? 50 is not old.

Howareyouflower · 30/12/2021 15:02

www.nhs.uk/medicines/tolterodine

user68901 · 30/12/2021 15:15

I’m 50 and have very low BMi. But also have bladder issues but it’s more of a case of certain situations triggering like putting keys in front door or filling up kettle . Then I just completely lose control. However can get through the night sometimes without toilet trip or if really busy at work go 5 hours without thinking about it. I did just think it was my age So for me must be some cognitive thing as I also do loads of exercise and daily pilates to keep my lower back mobilised.

chimpandzee · 30/12/2021 15:59

You should ask your GP for a referral to a specialist women's health physio. They will check for prolapse and for pelvic floor strength and give you some rehab exercises. I saw one who used ulstrasound to show me how to contract my PF properly. There's also a really good free NHS app called Squeezy which reminds you to do your exercises and tracks for you and has a really good visual counter you use when you are doing them. You really shouldn't be peeing yourself and you really don't have to put up with that for the rest of your life.

Original poster
christmascharade · 30/12/2021 16:11

@CottonSock

My gp did internal exam and bloods. She also noticed I had thrush. I have now stopped peeing the bed.
Was it linked to the thrush? I keep getting thrush.
OP posts:
Squills · 30/12/2021 16:15

When you went to see your GP did they carry out an internal examination? You may have a bladder prolapse.

turnaroundtime · 30/12/2021 16:27

Peri menopause can be the start of incontinence issues. The drop in oestrogen is the cause and it can happen to women who have not had dc as well as those who have. Stress (coughing/sneezing), urge (immediate need to go), incomplete voiding (bladder doesn't completely empty so it leaks out between/soon after peeing) are all different types of urinary incontinence. HRT can help

itssarcasmjoan · 30/12/2021 16:32

Get yourself a perifit. Best money I ever spent.

OwlSoup · 30/12/2021 16:33

This is very likely linked to your weight. Children and age certainly don't help matters but being significantly overweight will be either causing it or massively contributing to it

I'd be focussing on weight loss before starting the ball rolling with referrals / urologists etc

TueWed · 30/12/2021 16:35

@christmascharade

2 DC in case you're asking.
I have 2 DC , i'm 50 and i dont pee myself

Go to a DR

Pennina · 30/12/2021 16:44

I'm the same Anordinarymum. My stress incontinence was caused by coughing. I've various chronic but mild chest problems that can cause very severe coughing.

Most of the time I just use a light panty liner but if I get a cough it hangs around for ages and then I do have big problems. It's got worse since menopause though.

I got put off treatments after hearing horror stories re mesh treatment plus I'm embarrassed 😞

ChateauMargaux · 30/12/2021 16:50

Find another GP. They need to rule out ... as per above; diabetes, thrush, uti, prolapse, fibroid and then if all clear refer you to a pelvic physiotherapist.

I’ve been around this loop a few times... currently trying Hypopressives with Abby Lord on line. Caffeine and sugar definitely make it worse!!

Thepineapplemystery · 30/12/2021 17:13

A women's physio changed my life. No joke! No more stress incontinence. I went from seeing every time I stood up to being able to jump on a trampoline without a worry. I still have urge incontinence, but that's psychological.

suzyscat · 30/12/2021 21:04

A) Get a new GP

B) ditch caffeine, fizzy drinks and alcohol straight away, but try and sip water throughout the day as concentrated urea irritates your bladder more

C) kegels morning and night

D) New GP!

It's mainly about A and D but following B is pretty life changing too

I saw a PT who specialised in bladder weakness and core rehabilitation and it was a total game changer. I stopped in the summer holidays and things got bad again.

Original poster
christmascharade · 30/12/2021 21:35

Pretty much every time we go to the GP for a same day appointment it's a locum, so a new GP every time, effectively.

I spoke to the same GP about the persistent thrush also and she said I should go to the sexual health clinic as it might not be thrush but an STI, despite me telling her I'm in a sexless relationship, haven't had sex in years, and have had problems with thrush basically all my life, since I was a child.

I've not gone as I feel fobbed off by her and I'm not sure if a sexual health clinic is correct seeing as there's no way it could be a STI. Or have I got that wrong and a sexual health clinic is about your sexual reproductive system regardless of whether you're sexually active?

Really interesting to read that incontinence is linked to thrush.

OP posts: