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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am so sick of peeing myself

106 replies

christmascharade · 30/12/2021 00:42

Seriously. FFS. Is this what pushing 50 looks like?

Someone tell me I just need to do some more keigels (sp?) and it'll all be ok?

Suddenly I finding it hard to get to the toilet on time.

Please give me some hope?

OP posts:
FinishWhatWeStarted · 30/12/2021 07:49

Could be linked to peri menopause x

gogohm · 30/12/2021 08:09

To a certain extent 2 kids and age is part of the issue, I got told the same thing. For me caffeine is an issue, definitely gives me urge incontinence. I saw the nurse at the hospital who gave me exercises and told me to do them daily, I don't always remember, she said around a third of women have this and to come back if it didn't improve within 6 months, then covid hit.

winewolfhowls · 30/12/2021 08:16

Anyone else reading and now squeezing?

sandgrown · 30/12/2021 08:18

I was like this and thought I was suffering with cystitis. The doctor said it was due to vaginal dryness and prescribed oestrogen pessaries.

ChristmasRobins · 30/12/2021 08:47

Agree with others about seeing another GP and getting this investigated properly. I’d also recommend a book called PMSL by Luce Brett- her memoir of incontinence after having kids. It’s a great read and will inspire you to get it sorted.

Bluntness100 · 30/12/2021 08:51

How significantly overweight are you? Could this be something to do with it? I’m fifty three and have never peed myself, this is not age related and I am completely shocked any doctor would tell you fifty year olds typically suffer incontinence, they do not.

BoredOfCbeebies · 30/12/2021 09:12

Go back to the GP, or find another one, they are fobbing you off. I would highly recommend seeing a Women's Physiotherapist - either ask for a referral, or try and find one yourself, if you're able to pay privately. Look up Mummy MOT as a good starting point - it doesn't matter how old your children are, you don't have to be a ' new mummy'.
This type of attitude from the GP really annoys me. It may be normal, but it shouldn't be. It's only normal because nobody takes women's pelvic health seriously, and we're just supposed to put up with it and get our Tena pants on.

Tarne · 30/12/2021 09:49

Would this be the push you need to get your weight back under control as it will significantly improve things for you if you did?

There are threads on MN who can help your journey. I say this because it is sometimes easy to signpost people elsewhere when really an objective look at yourself, your habits, your lifestyle and what you eat and drink which can significantly improve things for you.

Good luck Flowers

Omletteforbreakfast · 30/12/2021 09:51

Another vote for specialist physio from me - am 15 years older than you and concluded that the same symptoms were just how it was going to be for me post childbirth and menopause - so so wrong! Three sessions later I am no longer leaking, panicking to get to a loo, peeing at every opportunity - before I went out, when I was out, when I came back. My family used to joke my use of public loos was like a dog and a lamppost ie I never let one go by. I cut right back on tea, moved to decaf, did bladder training by measuring wee,started talking to my bladder - sounds daft but worked for me eg. No you don't need to go now you have only had 250 ML to drink since your last wee and you can hold up to 350. Ironically my pelvic floor was quite strong and my Kegels good, it was everything else. I was referred on the NHS but it hasn't come through yet so self referred.

Bluntness100 · 30/12/2021 09:53

Did you really go to a gp and were told this was an ageing thing? And a female gp at that? Genuinely?

Because that’s shocking. Even women in their seventies and eighties don’t piss themselves normally.

crummyusername · 30/12/2021 09:55

All this advice looks sensible. You might also want to look at period pants eg Modibodi in the meantime. Much more comfortable and less embarrassing to wear than pads.

CoraPirbright · 30/12/2021 09:58

I had an initial consult the other day regarding going on to HRT. The doc went through a huge list of symptoms and, whilst I don’t actually suffer in this specific way, it def came up. In fact, she questioned me quite closely on it. Perhaps see your GP and have a chat about peri/menopause?

Ariela · 30/12/2021 10:04

Definitely get checked for UTI

whitewashing · 30/12/2021 10:25

Are you sure it was the GP and not the cleaner you spoke to??

Comtesse · 30/12/2021 10:35

See a specialist physio as the first step. All very well to say “do more kegels” but you can be squeezing the wrong muscles and not know it - proper biofeedback etc can show you just what to target.

Dilbertian · 30/12/2021 11:02

Weight.

Menopause.

Caffeine.

Other health conditions such as diabetes or prolapse.

I started peri menopause at around 41, started HRT at 43. It definitely helped with stress incontinence, but whatI didn't realise was that I was also leaking. I thought I was just smelly at the end of the day due to my hormones changing. In my mid 40s I lost 5st and stopped leaking. And stopped being smelly, too! I don't think I was leaking during the day, but that I wasn't voiding properly and a few drops would remain in my urethra. Inthe 10y since then, I have put on and lost the same 2 stone every couple of years. Whenever I reach the top of that extra 2 stone, I start having problems with the leak, and to a lesser extent with stress incontinence. So I do think obesity plays a big part.

wildthingsinthenight · 30/12/2021 11:05

Menopause or perimenopause can cause this. It is the drop in oestrogen. I had something similar but not as severe and it totally cleared up on HRT

OneTC · 30/12/2021 11:08

To pp suggesting no caffeine and to get sugar levels checked- can you explain?

Caffeine increases production of printer and sugar levels related to diabetes which also makes people wee more frequently

ChaToilLeam · 30/12/2021 11:09

Your GP sounds absolutely rubbish.

I would get sugar levels checked first off, and I hate to say it, but it could be weight related. Had a bit of a problem myself but losing 3 stone solved it.

OhForGoodnessSake1 · 30/12/2021 11:58

Is this the only thing up? I started have incontinence issues and at the same time clothes started getting tight. It turned out the "small" fibroid I knew I had was growing quite fast (grapefruit to melon in 5 months IIRC).

I too am shocked at the GP's response - unless there's a history of not acting on advice (it's still not good then but more understandable).

CounsellorTroi · 30/12/2021 12:06

I’m 60, no kids, no stress incontinence but I do very occasionally not make it on to the loo in time. Do I need to see a doctor? Or just not wait until I’m bursting before I go?

CrotchetyQuaver · 30/12/2021 12:06

If your menopausal it could be due to vaginal atrophy, depends what you mean by peeing yourself. Possibly not if it's it's a flood rather than a sudden urge and a drop or two. Vaginal oestrogen pessaries should sort that out if it's the latter, it certainly has for me.

Weenurse · 30/12/2021 12:07

Good suggestions here about fluid management, exercise and weight loss. Need to find out cause though, is it prolapse, weak pelvic floor or over active bladder for example.
Urodynamic studies will determine this.
Suggest back to GP and referral for urogynaecologist

Original poster
christmascharade · 30/12/2021 13:28

@Bluntness100

How significantly overweight are you? Could this be something to do with it? I’m fifty three and have never peed myself, this is not age related and I am completely shocked any doctor would tell you fifty year olds typically suffer incontinence, they do not.
Very! I'm about 18 stone, size 24 clothes.

And yes, I know I need to lose weight.

OP posts:
batmanladybird · 30/12/2021 13:49

Does fizzy water make a difference to this?