She was 42?! I’m 44

[AmIoldbutdontrealiseit]

Shirley Valentine. Sat watching it on Channel 5, obviously seen it before but when very young so it didn’t have quite the same impact.
Cannot believe she was 42, I’ve just turned 44 and whilst I don’t feel young, I’m surely not frumpy and middle aged, pretty as she was, if you know what I mean?
The anorak wearing, egg and chip making and very mumsy, almost grandma feel?
I realise it was set in the 80’s but is it that we look/act younger now, or that we’re really middle aged and frumpy but don’t realise it 😬
In comparison, I have a 3 year old Dd, a career, live abroad, have longer hair, wear converse, parka and Gucci bag (just example today’s outfit) use Instagram, have many interests. My life is mainly centred around Dd so isn’t wild as in before, clubbing, festivals, travelling etc…but..is this what my age is really like inside?

Hope that made sense 🤣

No fucking WAY does anyone of 42-43 look under 25. They just don't . If this has genuinely happened to someone in their 40s it's not that they look 20 years younger, it's because the person serving is shit at guessing ages, or your mask is covering your face, so it's hard to tell. You still look your age.
It does happen to some people. I have two Chinese friends (one male, one female) who still look like teenagers well into their 40s (and yes, they are genuinely ID'd for alcohol).
My good male friend (white British) is 53 and is usually taken to be the same age as me (mid 30s) by people who meet him for the first time. And he's not fit (a bit on the overweight side), and does not dress young - just genuinely looks younger and has that energy about him.

@NotMyYear123

Have you seen the interviews of Princess Di just before she got married? She was 20. (Yes, seriously, 20!). She looked 40. Styles then were dreadfully frumpy.

She wouldn’t have looked frumpy to her contemporaries though.

My DH is over 70 but often taken to be younger. He has a nice flat stomach, no belly or double chin and a good head of silver hair.

Princess Di looked very young. She worked in a nursery. Nurseries are very conservative about how staff dress, and even more back then. I worked in one and they were very strict about what you wore.

Just watched it, that mac is horrendous, I am surprised people are saying she has a good figure. I am 45 and am definately in better shape. The tight perms are just awful regardless and I am not old enough to remember them as trendy.

"Just watched it, that mac is horrendous, I am surprised people are saying she has a good figure. I am 45 and am definately in better shape. The tight perms are just awful regardless and I am not old enough to remember them as trendy."

Charming. What is it with women criticising other women's bodies like this? Don't you see how damaging it is? It just comes across as competitive and slightly unpleasant. Can't you see this is different from talking about her clothes or whatever? Leave her alone. Of course she had a nice figure and she was always a very pretty woman. Not that it matters. But more importantly - she was a good actress.

I am 38 but I feel as if I am 28. I am looking forward to getting older.

Pauline Collins is stunning but the dress and hair aged her in SV. She did look my mum and all my friends Mums I the 80s but they were mostly down trodden. Most smoked and drank heavily and ate chip pan foods. As a kid I only had veg in a Sunday- maybe it was more of a working class area thing.
Anyway my Mum is quite critical of women today and makes regular comments about mutton dressed as lamb. Feels Botox looks ‘ridiculous’ and women over 40 should have short hair to avoid looking silly. It’s quite bizarre

I think it was all part of her “character”, married young, young mother and housewife, no real identity of her own and no real reason to glam up. Stuck in a routine and boring life.

When we look back at family photos i always think how my DM looks older when she was in her 30s than she does now in her early 70s . It's more to do with the clothing styles, hairstyles, all my mums friends looked similar, funny perms, or short hair and they were either matronly with square boobs or super skinny but all wore box pleat skirts and sensible shoes!! Nowadays my DM wears little trainers and jeans and cool tops!
But she doesn't have the hang ups about body image that I have, I don't think she's ever been on a diet in her life and I think most of her friends are the same, they were just concentrating on being a wife and mother and bringing up kids!!

I always remember overhearing a woman on the train to work complaining to her friend about how she was so tired of doing all the housework, running after her husband and working. She said she felt about ninety years old. She looked about 25.

I think it's likely Pauline Collins gained weight for the role.

Even Shirley Valentine knew her Greek lover was no escape, he was on to the next woman

but he made her realise she could believe in herself

its a great film/play and it is really strange that this whole thread is about her looks!

I think it's more about being post-kids and in a stale relationship than age specifically. A decade or two of putting other people first all the time, what comes after that?

@MaxNormal found it! link

It's pretty funny!

[quote appleturnovers]@MaxNormal found it! link

It's pretty funny![/quote]
Hmmm, I can't seem to get the link to work, but if you do a google search for tiktok tmoneaay it's the third video in.

@MrsLargeEmbodied

but he made her realise she could believe in herself

I think it wasn’t so much that he made her believe on herself, it was more that the trip allowed her to give permission to herself to do as she pleased. It was not that he tricked her into sex, none at all, it was her deciding it was ok to have sex with a charming stranger because she wanted to.

We look middle aged compared with young people, and we certainly look middle aged to young people! . Maybe we do look younger compared with people of the same age in the 1980s, though when I look at pix of my mum from that time, when she was in her early 40s, she looks super young for her age despite the fashions.
Anyway, what’s wrong with looking middle aged?

Isn't it also a class thing? In the 80s certainly the stereotyped working class woman in her 40s would have had kids in very early 20s, a job with a weekly pay packet (not a career), low prospects in terms of education, travel abroad etc. Designer handbags and university degrees were not commonplace for women like her character was meant to be. Back then there was hardly any expectation that men would share housework and it was fairly commonplace for the men to come home drunk and abusive. Times have changed thankfully but I think class difference shouldn't be glossed over.

You’re not doomed to poverty and celibacy over 40! One of my friends is getting married for the first time at 60. I’m late 50s and been promoted recently. We’re probably not typical but good things can happen, even to middle aged women!

@33goingon64 true about low wages, but there were as many abusive middle-class men.

I suspect young people do think we look old.

I could have written your post OP!! I’m turning 42 soon and I always think of that but where Shirley is looking in the mirror and says, ‘Shirley, you’re only 42!’ I always think of her as my mums age but she’s my age?! Same as in dinnerladies, Victoria Wood’s character, Bren, ‘nearly 42, always wanted an etch a sketch’. I could cry sometimes!! I certainly don’t feel that I resemble either character 🤷🏻‍♀️😂