...to think this is not legally binding or enforceable?

[ConcernedFriend17]

Keen to hear from legally qualified Mumsnetters as I'm pretty worried about my friend. She's early forties and has been with her partner for four years. She's always lived beyond her means and a consequence of that is that she's never bought her own house or had any savings, in spite of having a good, secure job.

Her partner is financially secure and they have lived together in his house for the last three years. Recently she's been excitedly telling everyone that they're buying a new house together. I thought this was great; financial security for her, her own home etc. However she confided in me that she won't be on the mortgage or the deeds, but her partner will draw up a contract to pay her a certain amount of money if they split up.

This sounds really strange to me. And can it really be legally binding or enforceable? I know that she'll put her heart and soul into this house; she loves her partner but it's a rocky relationship. I'm just worried that she'll invest her time, money and love into somewhere and then she'll have absolutely zero to show for it, if they split.

AIBU in thinking this could be a financial disaster for her?

Why won't she be onn the mortgage or deeds?

* She's always lived beyond her means and a consequence of that is that she's never bought her own house or had any savings, in spite of having a good, secure job.*

^If I was him I certainly wouldn’t be buying a house with your friend. He would be extremely foolish to put her on the mortgage or deeds.

It would be a financial disaster for him.

Her partner is protecting his investment - your friend would be better of buying her own place. They are not married - she should leave him and find someone that wants to share everything.

Disclaimer - I am not legally qualified.

She needs to see a solicitor and get her own legal advice.

Have you discussed this with her, your concerns?

She's not paying anything towards the deposit, and as her partner is wealthy, the mortgage is probably more than she can afford to pay her fair share of.

By the way - I'm not saying she deserves a share of the house; I just think she's deluding herself in talking about "their" house. I don't think this "contract" of giving her a financial settlement if they split us actually legally valid, and I think she'll end up with nothing after potentially investing years into making a home

You can have a Cohabiting/Partner Agreement drawn up by a solicitor that is legally binding. It's becoming more common

Yes, we've talked about it, she's very confident that it will all be fine and that he'll "look after" her.

I've asked her to engage her own solicitor but she says she's quite good with legal documents and will be able to sort it out herself.

Again - I'm not saying she deserves a share of the house. I think he's doing the right thing in protecting his assets. I'm just worried about possible naïveté on the part of my friend, and a potential reliance on something that won't come to fruition should they split.

I'm heartened by the mention of cohabiting agreements - maybe that's the kind of thing they're doing.

@BringBackCoffeeCreams

Why won't she be onn the mortgage or deeds?

Because she isn't buying the house.

It appears that she isn't on the mortgage because she isn't paying it.

Her partner is buying the new house and she will be living there.

"I know that she'll put her heart and soul into this house; " but not her cash, apparently.

"but it's a rocky relationship" which is probably, again, why she isn't on the mortgage or the deeds.

"and then she'll have absolutely zero to show for it, if they split." She's got nothing now, so no change there.

She seems to be an irresponsible spendthrift and is jolly lucky to have someone put a roof over her head. The partner is very sensibly protecting his assets and doesn't see this as a long-term thing.

Really, and I say this kindly, your friend's situation isn't any of your business.

The devil is in the detail. I am a legally qualified Mumsnetter and there’s no way of saying if an agreement is legally enforceable without seeing it.

She would be very naive to sign anything without taking her own, independent, legal advice first.

Cohabitation agreements don't appear to have been tested in a court of law. I certainly wouldn't be relying on them to protect my interests in the event of a split.

She will be left with nothing?

You mean she will be left, not making any money out of it?

She isn't putting any money in or paying towards the mortgage, by the sounds of it. Why would she get anything out of it?

If they split she leaves with the things she has bought. If she pays to have it decorated, that can be her rent.

It appears you are worried she will live rent free in a house she hasn't put any money into and won't make any money out it. Is that right?

It's a little bit my "business" if she talks to me about it . . . but I agree with you, he's buying a house, and she's lucky that she gets to live there.

I just wish she'd buy her own place, however small, rather than relying on her partner for financial security.

Concerned,
"Again - I'm not saying she deserves a share of the house. I think he's doing the right thing in protecting his assets. I'm just worried about possible naïveté on the part of my friend, and a potential reliance on something that won't come to fruition should they split."

This makes no sense.

First of all you say "I'm not saying she deserves a share of the house"
and then you say "and a potential reliance on something that won't come to fruition should they split." So what do you think should "come to fruition."?

Apparently he's said he's going to give her money if they split so what could possibly go wrong?

No, @Doesntfeellikexmas, I'm worried that someone I love like a sister could be turfed out onto the street due to a lack of sound financial planning. My friend isn't a freeloader; she'll contribute by buying nice furnishings and making the place beautiful. But she'd be much better off putting her money into a savings account or into her own place.

I'd like to be clear that I'm not getting hugely involved - I've advised my friend to get her own solicitor, whether she does or not is up to her and I won't push the point. I'm simply asking a question on an anonymous forum because I'm worried and have a gut feeling that what she thinks will happen isn't what will actually happen. But I could be wrong - maybe reality will meet her expectation.

So she is not paying towards the deposit or the mortgage and they are not married.

Why would you expect her to have any claim on this house?

My ex signed an agreement that if we split up he would move out of the house which was in my sole name. When we separated wasn't worth the paper it was written on.

Concerned,
"I'm worried that someone I love like a sister could be turfed out onto the street due to a lack of sound financial planning."

Your friend doesn't, through choice, have a track record of sound financial planning up to now and is unlikely to change no matter how much you worry.

@ConcernedFriend17

No, *@Doesntfeellikexmas*, I'm worried that someone I love like a sister could be turfed out onto the street due to a lack of sound financial planning. My friend isn't a freeloader; she'll contribute by buying nice furnishings and making the place beautiful. But she'd be much better off putting her money into a savings account or into her own place.

I'd like to be clear that I'm not getting hugely involved - I've advised my friend to get her own solicitor, whether she does or not is up to her and I won't push the point. I'm simply asking a question on an anonymous forum because I'm worried and have a gut feeling that what she thinks will happen isn't what will actually happen. But I could be wrong - maybe reality will meet her expectation.

But she won't save or ever buy a place of her own because she lives beyond her means.

And shock horror.....she will buy items for the house she lives in. She will decorate the house she lives in. She can take the items with her, if they split. Decorating will be a fraction of he actually living costs.

You don't get money, if you rent a place and then have to leave.

I would always advocate getting independent financial advice

However, it really seems like you think she should be making a profit off this.

Living with him, she will have more spare money so could absolutely save or buy a place of her own. So she has a back up plan. She can do that because she isn't putting anything in or paying towards it.

I don't think she should have a claim on his house, @ElectraBlue - I think she'd be better putting her own money into her own house, or saving some cash every month rather than buying furniture and furnishings for someone else's (she'll see this as paying rent which is fair, but I think it would be better for her to achieve financial independence).

That's what I'm afraid of, @Nat6999 - I wasn't sure if a contract like this would be binding.

perhaps advise her to put the money she would have paid in rent away, so she isn't left homeless if the relationship ends.

If the boot was on the other foot and it was a woman inviting a financially irresponsible guy to live with her, there would be a hoard of Mumsnetters urging her not to do it, to protect her assets, to not get involved with a waster etc.etc.

But you're feeling sorry for your friend ??

What happens if he dies?

Will she be homeless?

I'm not sure, @ChiefStockingStuffer - he doesn't have any children so I think his next-of-kin would be his mum.

@Shedmistress she plans to buy things for the house (furniture and decor-type stuff) as her contribution, as a kind of rent, so I'm not sure she'll have much left every month after that to save. And if they split up, I'm not entirely sure he'd let her retrieve furniture etc.

Hey ho. There's not much I can do if the worst happens, other than just be there for her with a spare room, if needs be. I really hope it doesn't come to that and they live happily ever after!

As they are not married her claim to any part of the house might be weaker than should they marry.