...to think this is not legally binding or enforceable?

[ConcernedFriend17]

Keen to hear from legally qualified Mumsnetters as I'm pretty worried about my friend. She's early forties and has been with her partner for four years. She's always lived beyond her means and a consequence of that is that she's never bought her own house or had any savings, in spite of having a good, secure job.

Her partner is financially secure and they have lived together in his house for the last three years. Recently she's been excitedly telling everyone that they're buying a new house together. I thought this was great; financial security for her, her own home etc. However she confided in me that she won't be on the mortgage or the deeds, but her partner will draw up a contract to pay her a certain amount of money if they split up.

This sounds really strange to me. And can it really be legally binding or enforceable? I know that she'll put her heart and soul into this house; she loves her partner but it's a rocky relationship. I'm just worried that she'll invest her time, money and love into somewhere and then she'll have absolutely zero to show for it, if they split.

AIBU in thinking this could be a financial disaster for her?

She needs legal advice but if I was him I'd be going something similar.

The short answer is we can’t tell you if the contract will be enforceable/calid when the contract hasn’t even been written yet. It depends what it says!!

She needs legal advice if she’s planning to invest any money into the house. Sounds like financial advisor would be useful too, her bank can arrange that.

It would be much simpler / better for her if they just got married but presumably he doesn’t want to 🤷‍♀️

Questions I’d suggest she think about

• Does she have a pension?
• what happens to the house if he dies OR becomes mentally incapable?
• Why does she think they are buying it ‘together’? If she isn’t investing money and her name isn’t on the deeds then I don’t see how this is anything other than his house.

Also worth remembering that whatever the legal position is, the legal position doesn’t actually matter much unless she has time/money/energy to take him to court.

Strongly recommend she avoid the situation where his name is on the house and he pays the mortgage but she pays the bills / food expenses etc. Men often suggest this arrangement because they know they’ll make a return on their investment but money on bills is money gone.

Being financially irresponsible is a choice, being a freeloader is a choice, they’re both things she has actively chosen. If she has to move out and rent somewhere thats on her, no one else, she is an adult after all

Exactly - but she's clearly seen an opportunity with someone who's got a house and money and is now trying to make it into something it's not ("our house" and all the rest)

When she's "always lived beyond her means", the insistence that she'll save for her own place makes no sense to me, and neither does the idea she'll get a payout from what OP's openly described as a "rocky" relationship

Few men are that stupid, so perhaps she'd be better enjoying her good deal while it lasts and start taking some responsibility for herself

This makes no sense op, you keep jumping all over the place.

You say she will buy lots of things for whay she believes to be her home. It will be her home, she will live there. Jist like it would be her home if she was in rented accommodation.

She’s not buying into it so can’t claim the property. If you feel she shouldn’t buy furniture for her home, then tell her.

The answer is likely yes IF she goes to a solicitor and gets it done properly (highly likely the answer is no otherwise). The issue they would likely have is that it sounds like she is not putting in any money i.e. consideration.

Like PPs though, I would query why she deserves a share of a property to which she is not contributing (unless she marries DP).

You can’t do much about this as people do what they want to do and tend not to listen to unsolicited advice. If you can get her to become more frugal and look after her future (e.g. Dave Ramsey is a great place to start), you would be a great friend to her.

This will only be a financial disaster for her if she makes it one. It's all on her.

She could use the opportunity of living rent free to save and invest a good portion of the income from her well paid job to build a nest egg to provide financial security, retirement income and to buy a property should she need one.

She could also buy a property to rent out if she wants to be 'in property' so she doesn't get left behind by any rise in the market.

If she doesn't take this opportunity and spends all her money on whatever non essentials she likes, then it's a problem of her own doing.

Of course the contract they both sign and is drawn up by a solicitor is valid. Does she seriously expect to be on the deeds at 50% having not paid the deposit and a small percentage of the mortgage? If her partner did this he would lose a huge amount to someone who is known to be poor with money. This is England? I think Scotland may be different.

he is very sensible!

she needs to have savings, buy her own house or invest wisely!

I would not want her on my mortgage either

@Nat6999

My ex signed an agreement that if we split up he would move out of the house which was in my sole name. When we separated wasn't worth the paper it was written on.

Presumably you were married? If so then no, it wouldn't be worth the paper it's written in. A marriage is totally different to a relationship

Op why can't your friend put her salary into a savings account. Surely they will have a lot of furnishings from the current house and the sum not huge? If she's living there rent free she will,have money to save. You don't spend £600 every month on home furnishing

If she lived on her own she would be paying for everything and not saving. I suspect though (on previous form) she will just spend, spend, spend.

if you split you can take away what is yours ie what you have paid for; if you buy a chair / tv / computer/ coffee maker you can take then chair /tv/ computer/ coffee maker ( maybe best to keep reciepts) , if the furniture is all joint purchases you would have a share of furniture but not the house the furniture is in

Can't comment on the legalities but if your friend were smart about things she could set herself up with a backup plan. She can cut back on the expensive furnishings and get saving. Then buy herself a flat or house that she can rent out and then move to if the relationship goes wrong.

If she did this and the boyfriend effectively helped her onto the property ladder it would be wrong, in my opinion, for her to expect anything from the boyfriends house besides any personal belongings.

@CheshireKitten123 agree completely with your post. I think her partner has done the right thing in protecting his money and investment. If it was role reversal and the spendthrift partner who is happy to put their heart and soul but not their cash into the house was male would replies be so supportive of him getting a financial settlement off his female partner while investing none of his capital.