Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She's dumped it in the porch.

85 replies

WeasilyPleased · 27/12/2021 23:12

My sister told me she hated coming to ours for Christmas so I told her that as an adult, she could do what she liked. Dh suggested as this is last Christmas without baby, we would book at a local pub for Christmas lunch and his brother asked to come which was fine as he'd have been on his own otherwise.
We all went to sisters later. Her partner and his mum was there. First time we'd met her in 14 years! Presents opened an sister made a face at the clothes I'd bought her (which she had asked for)
After we got home, she rang, ranting that I'd bought wrong sizes and that I'd tried to make her look stupid in front of partners mum. She wasn't drunk just totally lost it and was saying ridiculous things about prefering dhs brother to her then slammed the phone down. After several abusive texts I blocked her.
Today we visited a friend. When I got back she'd left the clothes in a box in the porch and has been harassing dh's brother all day.
AIBU to not unblock her for a long time?

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 27/12/2021 23:17

She sounds like a tosser. Get a refund on the clothes. Don't unblock her ever. Life's too short.

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 27/12/2021 23:17

Sounds like there’s a lot more to this than you buying the wrong sizes? Is there a history of her kicking off for no reason? I didn’t understand the ‘preferring him to her’ (who is ‘her’?) bit? And why is she harassing your BIL?

SituationCritical · 27/12/2021 23:34

Don't unblock at all. Just leave it, who can be arsed dealing with that behaviour from an adult. Take the clothes back, spend the money on something nice for yourself and let her get on with it.

Kite22 · 27/12/2021 23:37

Presumably this isn't about a Christmas present that doesn't fit, and there is a huge amount of information you have left out of your post ?

PurplePansy05 · 27/12/2021 23:37

Surely there's a lot more history here so perhaps you could provide some background first?

GrumpyTerrier · 27/12/2021 23:57

Whatttt. You don't need to provide anymore bloody background. Your sister said she hated coming to your house and then abused you for the gifts you got her? Obviously she is not a nice person OP, don't bother with her anymore.

WheelOnTheBus · 27/12/2021 23:59

Who are these people who conduct themselves in this way?

Block. Don’t unblock. Ever.

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2021 00:02

She sounds like an idiot obviously

But you sound like you haven't typed the whole story?

Did you explicitly ask her what size you needed to buy?

WonderfulYou · 28/12/2021 00:14

Sounds like there’s a lot more to this than you buying the wrong sizes? Is there a history of her kicking off for no reason? I didn’t understand the ‘preferring him to her’ (who is ‘her’?) bit? And why is she harassing your BIL?

I agree!

If it was just about the sizes - firstly why did you buy the wrong size? And secondly why not just tell her to get a grip and you’ll exchange them for the correct size.

PersonaNonGarter · 28/12/2021 00:16

She sounds unhinged. You could do with a break from each other.

Doubledoorsontogarden · 28/12/2021 00:23

I think she is mentally unwell, you can tell her that

FabianK · 28/12/2021 00:42

More to the story, for sure

SmolCat · 28/12/2021 00:53

How far wrong were the sizes?

It sounds like it touched a nerve. Does she struggle with her mental health/body issues?

There’s obviously a lot more to this. People don’t outright say “I hate coming to you for Christmas.”

Original poster
WeasilyPleased · 28/12/2021 01:22

I didnt want to make the post too long but she has form for creating mass dramas and is very good at making it look like its your fault.
She is extremely jealous of DH's brother because he has LD and she thinks he gets an unfair amount of attention. He usually comes here for dinner because he says his carers cant cook!
When I blocked her, she rang him expecting to pass nasty messages over. He was very upset and I honestly dont think I can forgive her for this.
She specifically asked for a certain size and style which I bought.

I personally believe there are some mh issues going on and there have been since she was a child but our parents just say she's highly strung and doesnt know how to express herself. I think she knows only too well.
My dh is furious with her and called her a manipulative spoilt brat but not to her, to me. I bought those clothes because I honestly thought she would love them and Im so hurt that not only are they the wrong size, she called them tat. We're on a fairly low income so I start buying things in the summer to spread the cost. A lot of it cant go back but thats not the point.
I offered her money to buy new clothes and she said it was the humiliation of having clothes that were ugly and didnt fit...most being too big, a few too small. Im very pregnant and cant sleep for this nonsense.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 28/12/2021 01:50

I bought those clothes because I honestly thought she would love them and Im so hurt that not only are they the wrong size, she called them tat.

Still makes no sense if you're also claiming she asked for them.

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/12/2021 01:59

So you bought the clothes your sister asked for in the sizes she told you and you’re in the wrong and acted appallingly?! I totally would block her for a very long time.

She contacted your bil, who has LD to get to you though him, I’d that correct? This in itself is disgusting and would make me want to be very low contact. I’d eBay the clothes and vow to never buy her another gift. Your sister does indeed seem to have some kind of mh issues.

Ilovenutellaaaaa · 28/12/2021 02:02

She said she hates going to your house,

She insulted and returned the clothes she wanted in the size she wanted that you bought

It sounds like she is just looking for an argument/drama

Keep her blocked on yours and DH phone, block her on bil phone so she can't harrass him, and tell your parents/relatives/friends your version of events and that she's blocked on your phone and that you don't want them having to act as a go between passing on any nasty messages from her to you,

But seriously, block her, breathe a sigh of relief that you have removed her from your life, you haven't done anything wrong, so don't let her take up any more space in your thoughts, concentrate on you, and your pregnancy

Twinkleylight · 28/12/2021 02:10

Your partner and bil should also block her number and unfollow her on social media. Put the clothes up for sale on Facebook market place and ebay etc and use the money for your baby.

sweetbellyhigh · 28/12/2021 02:15

Sounds like a long standing shit show 😣

willstarttomorrow · 28/12/2021 02:18

She obviously loves drama and being the centre of attention, I suspect she could not cope when you visited because she did not feel all the focus was on her. She is an adult, she chose her gift, she chose who to spend xmas with. What is totally abhorrent is that she targeted a vulnerable adult to try and score points/create drama. Block and if anyone asks tell them exactly why. No point trying to explain it to her because she sounds too self centred to care/see your viewpoint and she does not deserve the courtesy to be honest. She may well have MH issues but generally this would not excuse this kind of behaviour - you can have MH issues and also be a bastard. Her behaviour does not scream 'Accute mental health crisis' (from your post), just attention seeking arsehole who may happen to have some underlying MH issues.

UniversalAunt · 28/12/2021 02:35

Soon, you & you DH will be a bigger family when your baby arrives. Your focus is your family, not pandering to your sister.

It seems to me that your sister is feeling put out by the prospect of being edged off centre stage by your baby, so she’s playing up whilst she can. Once baby is here, that’s it she is no longer top of the bill.

BTW she treated your DH’s brother badly & upset him unnecessarily.

Leave her be to stew, do not rush to unblock her.
Unfollow her on social media & block her from yours.
Although expect some fresh new dramas along the way, prolly through family & friends.
She may well have some underlying behavioural or MH disorder, she is an adult & can go see her GP to access MH services like anyone else. Most likely she is overindulged & self-centred.

Focus on your family & your future.

gofg · 28/12/2021 05:41

Return the clothes, buy something for yourself, and don't contact her - or accept any form of communication from her - again. She sounds like an entitled brat.

HomeTheatreSystem · 28/12/2021 05:51

Tell her that she's entitled to her opinions, however skewed and misguided, but that you have run out of patience with her rudeness and overall poor behaviour and you are not tolerating it anymore. She can either grow up or be left to stew in her own juice.

PineConeWar · 28/12/2021 05:56

If they still. Have labels on you may still be able to return them. Maybe for a credit note rather than refund. You can always try saying you were given them as a gift so don't have the receipt.

Ignore your sister for now, let her calm down.

grapewine · 28/12/2021 06:03

She'd be blocked indefinitely for harassing BIL. WTF? No way would I pander to that.