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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She's dumped it in the porch.

85 replies

WeasilyPleased · 27/12/2021 23:12

My sister told me she hated coming to ours for Christmas so I told her that as an adult, she could do what she liked. Dh suggested as this is last Christmas without baby, we would book at a local pub for Christmas lunch and his brother asked to come which was fine as he'd have been on his own otherwise.
We all went to sisters later. Her partner and his mum was there. First time we'd met her in 14 years! Presents opened an sister made a face at the clothes I'd bought her (which she had asked for)
After we got home, she rang, ranting that I'd bought wrong sizes and that I'd tried to make her look stupid in front of partners mum. She wasn't drunk just totally lost it and was saying ridiculous things about prefering dhs brother to her then slammed the phone down. After several abusive texts I blocked her.
Today we visited a friend. When I got back she'd left the clothes in a box in the porch and has been harassing dh's brother all day.
AIBU to not unblock her for a long time?

OP posts:
EerieSilence · 28/12/2021 06:15

Just ignore her. Don't let her spoil your holidays. She's a c*nt.

mathanxiety · 28/12/2021 06:34

You say you bought the clothes over the course of several months.

When did your sister ask for them then? Last June?

YourenutsmiLord · 28/12/2021 06:37

Seems over the top behaviour. Is it actually a long standing envy of you the favoured sister (in her eyes) or envy that you're pregnant or are you better looking and slimmer. Some petty grudge that has surfaced.
Cannot see why she should envy DH's brother, that is weird.

Thissucksmonkeynuts · 28/12/2021 06:42

Sounds like having her mil to stay has pushed her past the point of reason.

Pearlpink · 28/12/2021 06:46

Keep her blocked and ask your BIL to do the same.

itsgettingweird · 28/12/2021 06:52

Keep her blocked.

You can't change someone's behaviour but you change your reaction to it.

No way should you be up feeling guilty and not sleeping because you did something kind.

GCAcademic · 28/12/2021 06:53

I offered her money to buy new clothes and she said it was the humiliation of having clothes that were ugly and didnt fit.

Sorry, but you offered her money after her nasty, ungrateful tantrum? Why? Stop pandering to her, for goodness sake.

Justreadingtheforum3 · 28/12/2021 07:00

Were the clothes all the same size? How come some were too small and some were too big?

Don't get me wrong if someone bought me size 20 clothes and I was a side 10, I might think they were being mean. It seems an over reaction but wondering how wrong was the sizing.

Totalwasteofpaper · 28/12/2021 07:01

Look if you think it's bad now wait until the baby appears!!!

Block and dont unblock.
Focus on your pregnancy and your real family.

Juletide · 28/12/2021 07:03

So what did she buy you OP?

autieok · 28/12/2021 07:05

If this is typical of how she treats you I would keep my distance and don't let her drama into your life. Also what's LD?

BigYellowHat · 28/12/2021 07:10

I wouldn’t block her but mute her so she has the chance to apologise in her own time. I’m going through something similar with my sister right now and that’s what I’ve done.

Looubylou · 28/12/2021 07:28

Trying to get to you through your BIL - outrageous. Not even a little bit acceptable, even if he was a confident and independent bloke. However, your account of the clothes, doesn't add up. Do you mean she asked for clothes rather than specific items? How wrong were the sizes, and how did that happen? What reason did she give for hating Christmas at your house? Why do your parents not feature in her Christmas? Not saying they should - it just seems like there is a lot missing from your account. Did she make a scene in front of her MIL? Her partner needs to run for the hills. It sounds like you spoiled her plans to present a perfect picture of herself to MIL. I'm secretly hoping MIL and partner got to see her true self.

AgentJohnson · 28/12/2021 07:30

Take this opportunity to stop indulging her and ignore instead. This is who she is and has always been, it’s time to stop expecting her to change.

She’s done you a massive favour.

DrSbaitso · 28/12/2021 07:33

We really, really need to know her side of this. There's clearly so much back story.

flapjackfairy · 28/12/2021 07:38

I never made it past her being jealous of your bil having learning disabilities! ! Wow .

daisychain01 · 28/12/2021 07:57

There must be a big back story - people don't just behave like this out of the blue.

She is extremely jealous of DH's brother because he has LD and she thinks he gets an unfair amount of attention.

Why does she even have a valid opinion of someone who isn't even her direct family? This is your husbands sibling, does she live in your pocket to know that he receives an unfair amount of attention. Weird.

jetadore · 28/12/2021 08:03

YANBU! Why do you even have to ask? Block her! Ignore her!

CheshireKitten123 · 28/12/2021 08:04

@Ilovenutellaaaaa

She said she hates going to your house,

She insulted and returned the clothes she wanted in the size she wanted that you bought

It sounds like she is just looking for an argument/drama

Keep her blocked on yours and DH phone, block her on bil phone so she can't harrass him, and tell your parents/relatives/friends your version of events and that she's blocked on your phone and that you don't want them having to act as a go between passing on any nasty messages from her to you,

But seriously, block her, breathe a sigh of relief that you have removed her from your life, you haven't done anything wrong, so don't let her take up any more space in your thoughts, concentrate on you, and your pregnancy

This ^
Booksandwine80 · 28/12/2021 08:14

Get your mo ru back and buy yourself something. Ungrateful cow! Xmas Angry

Booksandwine80 · 28/12/2021 08:14

*money

expatmigrant · 28/12/2021 08:26

I get so irritated by posts where people keep buying gifts for ungrateful people and then complain about it. If they have form why are they being indulged?
Just don't do it!

freelions · 28/12/2021 08:33

Your sister sounds deranged

I would completely disengage from her. Certainly stop buying her things and inviting her places. Just because she is your sister does not mean you need to be friends. If she was a teenager then I would make some allowance for her behaviour but that clearly isn't the case.

LetHimHaveIt · 28/12/2021 08:34

Jesus. Lots of posters hung up on the sizing of the bloody clothes, and neatly skipping over the fact that just one aspect of the sister's nasty and bizarre behaviour is that she is simultaneously unpleasant about a man who has LD - but also expects him to be some sort of go-between, and bombards him with phone calls. And that the sister said she hated Christmas at OPs - charming - so they went to the pub to accommodate her.

We're not going to know the sister's side, are we? But unless the OP has bought, say, a size 12 woman some jeans in a size 6 and a skirt in a size 22 in a bid to be a cow, the clothes aren't going to be the problem. It's surely more likely OP bought, I dunno, a medium at one store and a 12-14 at another, or whatever.

I'd block her for good. She sounds nightmarish.

Dozer · 28/12/2021 08:35

YWBU to visit your sister on xmas day given her past behaviour!