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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wonder why he is saying he does not remember me?

109 replies

Marble2021 · 27/12/2021 22:00

Last year, I was in a couple of classes with a guy from uni. Him and I worked together on a project for a couple of months in a team. I also chatted with him over whatsapp and in person quite often. I bumped into him a few weeks ago and I asked him how he was. He looked at me blankly. He really did not seem to even know who I was. I tried reminding him about when we worked together on that project, but he said I must have confused him with someone else. I have definitely not confused him with someone else. Anyone got a clue as to why he said he does not remember me?

OP posts:
ShaneTheThird · 27/12/2021 23:36

So weird! Face blindness wouldn't make him forget his course and a project he worked with you for months on.

Either twin/doppleganger or he has suffered major brain trauma/ stress induced memory loss in the last year.
Or he is a weirdo who is pretending not to know you for mysterious unknown reasons.

steff13 · 27/12/2021 23:36

I love stuff like this. I wonder if you've ever walked past eachother, if she gets the same thing in reverse and there's just two identical people walking round the same village being mistaken for eachother and never crossing paths.

I don't know if I've ever seen her. But I do know from the people that have mistaken me for her that her name is Renee and she used to be a teller in a bank. I've never worked in a bank and my name is not Renee.

Ofmypencilcase · 27/12/2021 23:42

I’ve had similar ish. Mum in my mums meet ups who I’ve met and chatted with for a few times. I’ve always seen her at shops twice and we’ve not said hi, so weird but not an attempt to avoid me, I can tell. I honestly think she just doesn’t recognise me (masks don’t help I suppose)

Saracen · 27/12/2021 23:53

Why are you so sure he is the one who is mistaken, rather than you?

Though I have a terrible memory for faces, if you told me that you remembered me from a particular course which I had in fact been on, I would at least pretend to remember you.

But this guy is denying it all. Is it really impossible that he's telling the truth?

Veryverycalmnow · 27/12/2021 23:53

Maybe once he realised he did indeed know you he didn't want to say, "oops, I didn't recognise/ remember you!" as he thought that was rude, so thought he'd just stick to saying he didn't know who you were, hoping you'd leave it there, but after you pursued it became more and more awkward for him as he realised the hole he had dug.
Or he hates your guts

sunlight81 · 27/12/2021 23:56

At an engagement party I had a family member ask who I was!!

Granted I was his cousins step daughter but I'd been part of the "family" for 30years and probably met at similar gatherings about 20+times!

Turns out he'd had a stroke the previous year and subsequently had a few memory issues. To be fair I've stayed clear since, kind of avoided conversation with him as he wasnt particularly nice when he asked "who the f are you!"

ScaredOfOverDiagnosis · 27/12/2021 23:59

I remember reading about a guy at college somewhere in Canada, whose friends stopped talkyign to him as they said he was rude and ignored them when it suited him. He said he's never ignored them. He was also getting random people talking to him as though they knew him.

Elsewhere on the same college campus another guy was going through the same hell.

Turns out they were twins who didn't know about each other.
I'm sure a story like that is bound to be on the net, if people want to check

I thought parent trap was based on these college Canadian twins, turns out parent trap has been remade a few times.
Makes you wonder how many twins are out there that don't know about each other.

Butchyrestingface · 28/12/2021 00:02

I'm inclined to believe it's a case of mistaken identity.

Failing that, he has a twin he doesn't know about.

steff13 · 28/12/2021 00:06

@ScaredOfOverDiagnosis

I remember reading about a guy at college somewhere in Canada, whose friends stopped talkyign to him as they said he was rude and ignored them when it suited him. He said he's never ignored them. He was also getting random people talking to him as though they knew him.

Elsewhere on the same college campus another guy was going through the same hell.

Turns out they were twins who didn't know about each other.
I'm sure a story like that is bound to be on the net, if people want to check

I thought parent trap was based on these college Canadian twins, turns out parent trap has been remade a few times.
Makes you wonder how many twins are out there that don't know about each other.

Ooh, like that movie Three Identical Strangers!
DrGoogleSaysSo · 28/12/2021 00:08

Did you call his name?

ScaredOfOverDiagnosis · 28/12/2021 00:09

00:06steff13

Never seen it.
Guessing they are not triplets but just people that look like each other!

Hellocatshome · 28/12/2021 00:09

I have a Doppelganger people will insist they went to school with me but I only moved to this area in my twenties and have definitely not been to school with these people.

ScaredOfOverDiagnosis · 28/12/2021 00:11

00:06steff13

AHH it's a true story.
Will watch it, looks good.

steff13 · 28/12/2021 00:14

@ScaredOfOverDiagnosis

00:06steff13

AHH it's a true story.
Will watch it, looks good.

It's really good. And heartbreaking. It was on Hulu here, I don't know if y'all have Hulu.
Marble2021 · 28/12/2021 00:28

@Saracen

Why are you so sure he is the one who is mistaken, rather than you?

Though I have a terrible memory for faces, if you told me that you remembered me from a particular course which I had in fact been on, I would at least pretend to remember you.

But this guy is denying it all. Is it really impossible that he's telling the truth?

It was definitely him. I worked with him for months and I remember him well
OP posts:
Fayekrista · 28/12/2021 00:33

Why do you care?

ScaredOfOverDiagnosis · 28/12/2021 00:51

00:14steff13
Where are you based?
Never heard of Hulu but I'll try and source the film.
I can't believe this was done as a social experiment!
The example of the twins I gave, the separation was due to a divorce.

ScaredOfOverDiagnosis · 28/12/2021 00:53

00:28Marble2021

As a PP mentioned above.
Some people are pathetic and do it as a power trip.
Don't engage with him in future even if he speaks to you first.

FallonCarringtonWannabe · 28/12/2021 00:58

I often have people talk to me
Who know me and ive no clue who they are. I just don't remember them. We come across so many people surely it is to be expected.

But ive also had a time when i saw someone i thought i knew at the supermarket from my running groups and excitedly went over and said hi. She looked confused and said do i know you. Turns out i know her twin.

Hawkins001 · 28/12/2021 00:58

Not sure really, I know with me I'm almost quite good remembering faces but sometimes a person is doing x with person then next, gone with the wind

steff13 · 28/12/2021 00:58

@ScaredOfOverDiagnosis

00:14steff13 Where are you based? Never heard of Hulu but I'll try and source the film. I can't believe this was done as a social experiment! The example of the twins I gave, the separation was due to a divorce.
I'm in the US. Ohio.

About a third of the way through the movie it hit me that the adoption agency had done it on purpose and I was just shocked and appalled.

steff13 · 28/12/2021 01:00

It was definitely him. I worked with him for months and I remember him well

As I said, a woman mistook me for her own niece. I don't think you can be that confident that you recognize him. Regardless, if it was him he clearly didn't want to speak to you or something so I would probably just let it go.

daisiesonmydress · 28/12/2021 01:09

@Fayekrista

Why do you care?
Why do you care why she cares?
Unsuremover · 28/12/2021 01:15

Facebook is a nightmare for this. Get a friend request and message saying “omg haven’t seen you since school/job in the pub/you finished with my brother let’s catch up. Nope sorry wrong person, I have a very common name. Then they send a bloody photo and there I am with friends I recognise in a place I recognise.
People don’t make particularly good memories when they add stressed or anxious so that’s why I have gaps. I got the bus with my cousins boyfriend for months, thinking he was just some chatting bus mate and also baffled at how my cousin knew things with me telling them. I was mortified when I joined the dots.

maddening · 28/12/2021 01:19

If you whatsapped him you have his phone number, surely that is evidence one way or another

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