To think this is rude?

[helenabonhamfarter]

I have just catered single handedly for 12 for two days. It's been hard, hard work. Three families and no offered to do the washing up/help with cooking (apart from my husband). I work full time for what is is worth- including Christmas Eve and back to work tomorrow. So pretty shattered. The other wives and one BIL don't work at all.
I really pushed the boat out as we missed out last year.
Probably spent >£600 in food and alcohol.
My sister in law asked what she could bring- I suggested some cheeses and crackers for Boxing Day. She brought 4-5 cheeses and a bottle of port.
She left this morning. I have just noticed she has taken all the remnants of cheese from the fridge and 1/2bottle of port home with her.
I think this is bloody rude my husband less so.
Who is being unreasonable?

I think it would have been OK for her to take some of the left overs if it's a close family meal. Not all of it though.

Your SIL is a rude, cheeky fucker and wouldn't be getting any future invites from me! Outrageously rude.

Oh and definitely not the port. The alcohol should stay with the hosts.

It's rude. They all sound like freeloaders and I wouldn't be doing it again.

Shocking not to ask first.

Rude not to do wash up and outrageous to give something and then take it back!!!

Insanely rude. Who the hell does that?!

I hope they are hosting next year and make sure you put your feet up and don’t lift a finger

Guess where they will NOT be having Christmas ever again?? And if they ask, you tell them the truth.

Incredibly rude, all of it. I would never host for them again. Disgraceful.

I can't imagine why you put yourself through all that in the first place. I wouldn't be that bothered by her taking the left overs (unless I already disliked her) I'd think it was just a bit petty and pathetic and laugh about it I think. But maybe not liking Port helps.

I think that's awful

I'd say taking that back is rude. But not as rude as the rest of the extended family who didn't lift a finger... At least she brought something

IME hosts often prefer you don't help, but I'd always ask what I can do.

Very rude to take home what they brought.

Yes she's very rude.

Very bloody rude imo!

It's all rude - the not lifting a finger and the taking home of stuff.

Very rude

This all sounds utterly exhausting. Why in the name of sanity would you want to put yourself through this?

I wouldn't want anyone to help, but I would be surprised if no one offered and taking the leftovers without checking with you first is very rude.

I don't think it's normal etiquette but I don't find it rude. I do find it incredibly rude to stay with someone for two days and not even offer to do any washing up

Yabu. I hate to say it but you martyr'd yourself for what?

Her taking the cheese and port is really not the glaring issue here.

@Zerrin13

This all sounds utterly exhausting. Why in the name of sanity would you want to put yourself through this?

My MIL is very poorly- likely her last Christmas. She wanted all of her children/grandchildren together and we are fortunate enough to have a house where we could offer everyone a bed. I'm pleased I did it for my MIL but outraged her daughters didn't help at all. The cheese/port thing was the last straw.

Immensely rude to not wash up.
Cheeky and a bit weird for her to take back the cheese etc.
I wouldn’t invite them again.

Cant you text her - "Hi, just sat down after sorting the house out, but cant find the port! Any ideas of where it could be?"