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AIBU?

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Original poster

By sister deliberately said something nasty, i don't want ti know her anymore

100 replies

TinselTottyTart · 26/12/2021 19:54

I visited my sister Christmas Eve to drop gifts for her grandchildren. During the conversation she told me she had heard through her DIL my husband and I were being sued in the new year by a former landlord. We have a restraining order against him for harassment. She also stated he was suing us for damage (we left 9 months ago). This is nonsense, we had a professional clean and sign off. She knows this caused me and my daughter such distress. We had a fall out four years ago when our father died. She accused me of theft. I proved her wrong, she never apologised. I didn't see her for two years. I was crying Christmas eve as this man stalked me and my daughter yet she thinks it is OK that her DIL dines with him. She hated me as a child, broke ny nose at 15, called me a liar at 9 when a relative touched me up. I hate her. As a Christian I shouldn't but I do. She is a fecking bitch. I never want to see her again. I also want to tell l her what a she is.

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 26/12/2021 19:56

Well unless I have misunderstood it doesn't sound like she said anything particularly nasty on Christmas Eve sounds like she was just telling you what she had heard. But if you don't get on and have a lot if history you don't have to go and see her.

NatriumChloride · 26/12/2021 19:56

I’m sorry OP. I’d go low contact with her. What does she add to your life apart from negativity and drama?

Aderyn21 · 26/12/2021 19:57

So stop seeing her. You don't have to just because she's your sister - it's okay to not have contact with people who are horrible to you. She won't change so all you can do is change what you do!

StoneofDestiny · 26/12/2021 20:01

Put distance between you - just because you are a Christian you don't have to feed yourself to the lions.

Mrstamborineman · 26/12/2021 20:05

But she hasn’t said anything. She’s the messenger. Forewarned and all that is better surely, unless she’s made it all up.
As for al lathe other stuff. I’d not waste my emotion or time with her anymore, she sounds jealous and vindictive.

Original poster
TinselTottyTart · 26/12/2021 20:25

@Mrstamborineman

Not the messenger. But a nasty, miserable, jealous old bag. I nursed both our parents. She came once a fortnight. Delayed my father's funeral to go on holiday! (he wouldn't have wanted her to lose money in her opinion ) My crime? A good career, better than hers. So I am a snob (due to my University) and need taking down. We have had a shit ten years. She never helped but I did when she was a single parent. Not an equal relationship. Why are people so nasty?

OP posts:
Flowers500 · 26/12/2021 20:26

Sounds like you don’t get on at all but I don’t see what she did at Christmas??

Flowers500 · 26/12/2021 20:28

[quote TinselTottyTart]@Mrstamborineman

Not the messenger. But a nasty, miserable, jealous old bag. I nursed both our parents. She came once a fortnight. Delayed my father's funeral to go on holiday! (he wouldn't have wanted her to lose money in her opinion ) My crime? A good career, better than hers. So I am a snob (due to my University) and need taking down. We have had a shit ten years. She never helped but I did when she was a single parent. Not an equal relationship. Why are people so nasty?[/quote]
You clealry hate her, so don’t see her. But j still don’t understand what she did at Christmas?

SoniaFouler · 26/12/2021 20:28

After your second post, you’re coming across as the nasty one if I’m honest. I can’t see what she did wrong this Christmas ?

Nancydrawn · 26/12/2021 20:29

Wait, so is her daughter-in-law related to your former landlord?

And this makes you mad at your sister?

I'm not disputing that she's unpleasant—and you can certainly cut contact for past wrongs. But I'm confused about what she did this time.

UserBot99 · 26/12/2021 20:30

I don't know if I'm a christian or not, I just try not to hurt other people, but equally I don't think any Christian is obliged to stick around if they're being hurt.

You can ''be a Christian'' and yet fade away/grey rock/disengage.

xx

Prescottdanni123 · 26/12/2021 20:32

I'm a christian. I have no relationship whatsoever with my mum's older brother and his wife and their son. Neither does my mum. We cut ties with him after years of unpleasantness. I don't hate him anymore. I managed to let go of all that because holding onto it wasn't doing me any good. Now I don't really feel anything for him and I feel better for not having him in my life.

There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first and distancing yourself from negative and toxic people that cause nothing but harm. God wants you to take care of yourself too.

plinkplinkfizzer · 26/12/2021 20:33

What is it you want from this thread ? 😕

SarahJessicaParker1 · 26/12/2021 20:33

I very strongly dislike my sister too. And sometimes it's really difficult to articulate why!

Actually I can and you'd almost certainly agree with me the cow that she is. But I struggle to articulate it IRL as there's so much to say!

Anyway, I also don't see, based on your op, what she did wrong on Christmas Eve. But regardless, you don't like her. She probably doesn't like you either. No need to be in contact tbh. Just stick to cards and the odd phone call if you want.

I hate spending ant length of time with my sister too, so I don't unless I absolutely have to!

Original poster
TinselTottyTart · 26/12/2021 20:33

@Flowers500

So my sister told me on Christmas eve someone who had been arrested was still threatening me! I would save that for another day unless you enjoy hurting people and making them think they are back sitting outside your home. Perhaps some will think i am just saying how it is? no it is cruel and was intended to hurt me.

OP posts:
PAFMO · 26/12/2021 20:33

You don't sound very Christian to me tbh.

PAFMO · 26/12/2021 20:35

[quote TinselTottyTart]@Flowers500

So my sister told me on Christmas eve someone who had been arrested was still threatening me! I would save that for another day unless you enjoy hurting people and making them think they are back sitting outside your home. Perhaps some will think i am just saying how it is? no it is cruel and was intended to hurt me.[/quote]
You said she told you he is going to sue you for damage to his property.
Which, whether he has been arrested for harassment towards you or not is still a possibility, surely?
Why shouldn't she tell you?
If I was about to be sued, I'd want to know.

Bluntness100 · 26/12/2021 20:36

This is hard to understand, are you being sued by your landlord from nine months ago? Do you expect her dil to stop being friends with him becayse of rhe law suit and you blame your sister?

Plus how old are you? You’re still in rentals, so can you not afford to buy, or do you not wish to, with your big successful career?

Prescottdanni123 · 26/12/2021 20:40

Sometimes it is not what was said, but the way it was said and the meaning and the purpose behind it.

When I was at school, a so called friend took great delight in telling me what nasty things my bullies were saying about me. Not because she was trying to be a good mate but because she enjoyed it when things went wrong for me and she enjoyed seeing how the comments she passed on to me hurt.

Bluntness100 · 26/12/2021 20:41

@Prescottdanni123

Sometimes it is not what was said, but the way it was said and the meaning and the purpose behind it.

When I was at school, a so called friend took great delight in telling me what nasty things my bullies were saying about me. Not because she was trying to be a good mate but because she enjoyed it when things went wrong for me and she enjoyed seeing how the comments she passed on to me hurt.

Um ok.
Original poster
TinselTottyTart · 26/12/2021 20:43

@PAFMO

She shouldn't have told me. She knows nothing but enjoys hurting people.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 26/12/2021 20:45

Threatening you in what way?

I’m finding this quite confusing to be honest.

Flowers500 · 26/12/2021 20:49

What? I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to know if someone is bringing a lawsuit against you?

SoniaFouler · 26/12/2021 20:49

Are you drunk?

Hellocatshome · 26/12/2021 20:51

Ok we get it you dont like your sister and she is a nasty piece of work. We can't really say anything to help other than if you dont like her dont see her.