By sister deliberately said something nasty, i don't want ti know her anymore

[TinselTottyTart]

I visited my sister Christmas Eve to drop gifts for her grandchildren. During the conversation she told me she had heard through her DIL my husband and I were being sued in the new year by a former landlord. We have a restraining order against him for harassment. She also stated he was suing us for damage (we left 9 months ago). This is nonsense, we had a professional clean and sign off. She knows this caused me and my daughter such distress. We had a fall out four years ago when our father died. She accused me of theft. I proved her wrong, she never apologised. I didn't see her for two years. I was crying Christmas eve as this man stalked me and my daughter yet she thinks it is OK that her DIL dines with him. She hated me as a child, broke ny nose at 15, called me a liar at 9 when a relative touched me up. I hate her. As a Christian I shouldn't but I do. She is a fecking bitch. I never want to see her again. I also want to tell l her what a she is.

Tbh OP you just sound like you hate her.

So thank you for your support.
I no longer like my sister. My big successful career was halted due to caring for my dying parents. We rented for years and paid for care. My siblings paid nothing. What do I want out of this post? Permission to never speak to her again. Not a Christian? Very rude comment. Mumsnet is either helpful or not. We take our chances for some guidance. Thank you.

@SoniaFouler

Are you drunk?

That was my thoughts too I'm afraid , the venom is just too much .

Well in the immortal words of my mum when my sister and I were fighting. “Time to go to your separate corners”.

I’m not sure what your aim is with this thread, but good luck finding agreement or validation, I guess.

You don’t need anyone’s permission not to speak to her again. Only you know what the full situation is.

You don’t need anybodys permission, just don’t speak to her. Did you do this thread in the hope that everyone would join in and spit venom about her with you?

No one can give you permission. That's a choice you have to make by yourself

What do I want out of this post? Permission to never speak to her again.

You do presumably have agency to grant this yourself. Perhaps you should do just that.

[quote TinselTottyTart]@Flowers500

So my sister told me on Christmas eve someone who had been arrested was still threatening me! I would save that for another day unless you enjoy hurting people and making them think they are back sitting outside your home. Perhaps some will think i am just saying how it is? no it is cruel and was intended to hurt me.[/quote]
But what if he is and she's warning you?

Why can people not understand she is upset because her sister told her upsetting news on Christmas Eve therfore ruining her Christmas, she could have just waited until after Christmas is over to rell her she was being sue, if od course she really is.

The fact her sisters DIL has a relationship with someone who has been harassing her just makes it worse, show some empathy to someone who is obviously upset. People on this forum can be so rude sometimes and just not want to understand peoples posts. Do you speak to people like this in real life.

If the threat is genuine then she may have done you a favour by forewarning you, even though timing not great. If you don't like her, resent her, why visit at all?

@TinselTottyTart

So thank you for your support. I no longer like my sister. My big successful career was halted due to caring for my dying parents. We rented for years and paid for care. My siblings paid nothing. What do I want out of this post? Permission to never speak to her again. Not a Christian? Very rude comment. Mumsnet is either helpful or not. We take our chances for some guidance. Thank you.

You don’t need strangers to grant you permission, you do you.

It’s hard for people to see what she’s done wrong, or how she’s so jealous and thinks you need taken down, or why you had to rent and pay care for your parents and halt your “big successful career” to such an extent. If she’s retired, it suspect you’re older your self

Look your life is what it is, you don’t need to big yourself up on line. If you don’t wish to speak to her as she mentioned you and your partner are getting sued for trashing your last place, then don’t speak to her again.

So my sister told me on Christmas eve someone who had been arrested was still threatening me! I would save that for another day unless you enjoy hurting people and making them think they are back sitting outside your home.

???? But if you are in danger from this person, then you needed to be warned he's still threatening you and might  be outside yopur home.

@TinselTottyTart

So thank you for your support. I no longer like my sister. My big successful career was halted due to caring for my dying parents. We rented for years and paid for care. My siblings paid nothing. What do I want out of this post? Permission to never speak to her again. Not a Christian? Very rude comment. Mumsnet is either helpful or not. We take our chances for some guidance. Thank you.

You don't need anyone else's permission

Also,maybe drop presents off directly instead of to her.

You sound massively angry and aggressive @TinselTottyTart but if what you say is true about how your sister behaved in your childhood, I can see why. She doesn't seem to have done much wrong this time, but gossip a bit, but you clearly don't get on.

You don't like her, and she is supposedly jealous of you, and probably dislikes you as much. Ignore the 'some Christian!' type comments, even Christians have their limits, they're not perfect!

I think you need to go very low contact, and have a glass of wine. Try to calm down. I know it's hard.

(((HUGS)))

@scoobiedoobiedoo

Why can people not understand she is upset because her sister told her upsetting news on Christmas Eve therfore ruining her Christmas, she could have just waited until after Christmas is over to rell her she was being sue, if od course she really is. The fact her sisters DIL has a relationship with someone who has been harassing her just makes it worse, show some empathy to someone who is obviously upset. People on this forum can be so rude sometimes and just not want to understand peoples posts. Do you speak to people like this in real life.

Agree with this. ^

Thank you.

@girljulian What an unnecessarily despicable and vile comment. Shame on you.

Your sister sounds horrible, there’s a time a place for sharing things if she thought it was in your best interests and that doesn’t sound like what she was doing to me - trying to upset and embarrass you, more like.

Anyone who posts that you are unhinged or must be drunk for feeling this way is sadly lacking in empathy IMO

Not because she was trying to be a good mate but because she enjoyed it when things went wrong for me and she enjoyed seeing how the comments she passed on to me hurt.

I am related to someone like this. She looks so happy afterwards and the more hurt and bothered the person is, the more giddy she gets.

Op you don't need strangers permission to cut her out of your life and go no contact. But just be weary if what she is saying is true and stay safe.

Christianity (and coming from a Catholic), is very much about forgiveness, as it’s forgiving that allows us to move forward in life. That’s not to say you have to continue to have a relationship with your sister, but forgiveness might set you free from the anger you are feeling.
Do you go to church ? Maybe have a chat with your priest or vicar.

Thank you to all that were kind. I didn't see the deleted message so thank you to the person who reported it.
I do go to church and have tried to forgive my sister after she divided our family a few years ago after my father's death. I have contacted our case officer regarding the threats. That has put my mind at rest.