How do you know if you're autistic?

[ivegotamillionkids]

Posting for traffic and don't know how to vote as I'm on the app but...

How do you know?

I'm approaching 50 and not been formally diagnosed, but I have felt different my whole life.

Did you just go to your GP and say you've always felt different? How does this work? So fed up right now.

I have never felt 'normal' my entire life, and Christmas brings this home Every. Single. Year.

I just want it to all go away. And never see a person again. I would love to just live in my own little bubble of loneliness on a desert island. And then it would probably still be weird!

Anyone want to join me?

I mean it depends? My son showed some developmental delays and differences and when we went to seek help for that he was diagnosed. It was pretty obvious even before.

Usually that’s how it goes, you speak to a professional and get diagnosed. Really that’s the only way to ‘know.’

It doesn’t necessarily need to be autism. Have you family around you at this time?

There's online quizzes that you can take to see if you have autistic traits. It might be worth doing a few and if they all say it's likely that you may have autism you could bring that information to your GP and see about getting the ball rolling for diagnosis.

I hear you OP. I've long suspected I'm on The Spectrum, knew at primary school that I was somehow different from the other children but that's so long ago that The Spectrum meant a computer with rubber keys.

According to DP I disguise myself well as a normal member of society. Often it is hard work. Seems little point in a diagnosis now.

Would love to join you escaping Christmas in a paradoxical bubble of loneliness

Well you can pay to be assessed privately. Or you can go to your GP and ask to be referred via NHS. Then sit back and wait for 18 months to 2 years.
There are some good fb groups out there. Very helpful to join. Most people join before diagnosis.
But the diagnosis won't change how you feel. There isn't a cure.
Tips and tricks and adjustments will start to make a huge difference to your life with or without a diagnosis.
But getting the diagnosis brings relief and validation to many.

You can find the diagnostic questionnaires online, taking them could be a good start but are not enough to diagnose you on their own.

You can join some autism groups and talk to people there and see if you relate to what they say and ask questions.

I waited 22 months for my assessment on the NHS but there are other avenues. Private assessment is possible but expensive. I'm in Scotland and I know a couple of charities and organisations who diagnose for free without the long wait. It might be worth phoning autism charities in your area for more advice.

If you talk to your GP it is worth making a list of all of the reasons why you believe you may be autistic to discuss with her.

I'm exactly the same as the OP, 48 now and never felt like I've fitted in, never had close friends which isn't a problem as I've simply never enjoyed interacting with other people on any level.

I've always just considered myself to be unsociable, independent and very content in my own company but perhaps I am OTS to some degree.

I quit working earlier this year and I'm hoping it can be a permanent move although it will mean a a very frugal existence, but it's a price well worth paying if it means I can exist in my own little bubble with minimal contact with other people.

Don't just go to the GP and say you feel different. You need to be a lot more specific ! Do as pp has said - take some of the online tests, and be very honest in your answers. I mean it's easy to say oh yes I'm like this and that, when you know what answer you want !

I guess the thing is, even if you get diagnosed there isn't much you can do about it either way. Getting diagnosed isn't going to change anything. I'm quite sure that I'm on the spectrum, but I just live with it. The question is, what would you want to happen ?

I'm obviously on the spectrum as well but never been diagnosed, I'm 35 now. I'm not even sure how I'd go about being diagnosed. Doctors can be quite dismissive and difficult.

My son was diagnosed this year
It’s made me look at wider family
Now I’m not going to diagnose us - but me , me ex and my mum all have autistic traits

That’s where I get very confused 😐

How come my Son is ( psychiatrist diagnosed )
We aren’t , but we have traits
I know full well you can’t be ‘ bit autistic’

Actually I think his dad definitely has something but what , I don’t know

If you want to be assessed you can go privately
Costs about £1500

I just went to my GP and she sent me a form which i filled in . She phoned me up so i could elaborate and now i am waiting assessment. My GP is amazing though!

She did warn me there is a long wait as so many afults are now getting a diagnosis.

I went for a private assessment when I was 39, after going to the doctors for years with anxiety, and after researching autism for my son, and coming across something about autism in females, and I was surprised it fit me so much. The assessment was a reasonable price, and I knew the GP waiting time would be long. But you can ask, and here are some links that you could get some information from.

There is this unofficial checklist which is good

the-art-of-autism.com/females-and-aspergers-a-checklist/

(I know the term aspergers isn’t used now)

And this autism quotient quiz is good

psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient

I was 32 when I was diagnosed. I was waiting ages on the NHS so went private and paid £700 for an assessment with a psychologist who had 30 years of experience with autism, is a researcher and also does a lot of research into autism in women and girls. The assessment was for 4 hours and covered a lot.

What initially made me contact my GP was
I struggled in social relationships, couldn't always pick up social cues or 'take the hint'. I would butt in people's conversations or say things that weren't appropriate (even if they were true). I would feel completely like I didn't belong and often struggled in workplaces, meaning I moved about a lot to different jobs.

I experienced exploitation in several ways because I didn't always understand people's motives. This now has changed massively. Mainly because I'm older but my late teens and 20's were really difficult.

I have a professional job and work self employed which is so much better for me.
When I went to the GP she told me that I 'couldn't be autistic' because of the job I had, and because I was married!
Sadly a lot of healthcare professionals think like this.

There were also many experiences of when I was a child that linked to autism. Such as not understanding imaginative play. I.e. when friends were playing 'house' but we weren't really in a house, I didn't understand what we were doing.

I took a test online called The Aspie Quiz before I enquired about an assessment. That was quite a useful tool I thought too.

I'm glad I had an assessment, and for me it did help me to understand myself better, and make adjustments for myself that I prefer for my life. It was almost like the diagnosis gave me permission to do this. I hope that whatever you decide that you find peace for yourself and belonging.

My assessment I mentioned was £500 (in Sheffield nearly 5 years ago) which was private.

I spoke to my gp this week. I have a 10 year old with autism. My husband and family can all see similar traits that we have and ive had all my life.

I had done the aq50 test and told them my results 42/50 i got so quite high and shes referred me to the cmht where they will start the process to get diagnosed.

My DCs both have traits, my adult dd is convinced she is autistic so is going to call the GP once Xmas is over. I think it takes a couple of years to even get to be assessed so I’ve warned her it’s a long road to take.
I think she’s probably right from what I can see and what she tells me - she has masked socially all her life

It do not 'know' that I am autistic, insomuch as I have no formal diagnosis. My son has a diagnosis and when he was an inpatient in CAMHS, the psychiatrist who was treating him told me he would consider me to be high functioning autistic (this was not a formal diagnosis). The evaluation made sense to me. I struggled enormously with social interaction as a child I was incredibly shy and I wanted friends but just did not know how to make them). I developed a profound eating disorder and was hospitalised many times during my early adulthood, and I struggled with the social and organisational side of work, although I have always been a very hard worker.
Now, in my early sixties, and having had the privilege of working from home in an area I love (I do have a couple of very strong interests), I have learnt to embrace my neurodiversity, even if I have no formal diagnosis. I can stim (I never called it stimming before, and when I went out to work, I would have to take toilet breaks to shake my hands or stamp out the tension). Now, I can dance about, verbalise my thoughts (I call it talking to the cats). I have a bathroom full of fantastic smelly products, and some of my greatest pleasures come from certain smells (I even detour to pass the carpet shop on my way to the supermarket, because I love the smell of fresh carpets).
However, I do not really know if I would benefit from a formal diagnosis. My husband is autistic (diagnosed at the age of 52). He is struggling and I support him as a sort of guide to the neurotypical world. My eldest son has a diagnosis, and lives in supported accommodation after years in hospital through mental illness. He sees me as someone who went through a similar experience many years ago, and 'recovered', adding maternal autism into the mix may be too much at this point in his journey. My youngest son, is like me in many ways. He acknowledges that he is probably autistic (and he was referred for assessment, but declined to pursue this), but he is not quite sure how beneficial a formal diagnosis would be.

So, after that ramble, I would say that if you feel you need to clarity of a formal diagnosis, then either approach the GP (and waits for assessment for both private and NHS diagnoses are very long), and in the meantime, find out as much as you can about autism and join some forums for autistic people. 'Wrong Planet' and the NAS Community Forum can be helpful.

I was at uni doing neuroscience. We had a lesson on autism and I thought "What?! Is this not how everyone's brains work?!"

For my diagnosis. I took lots of stuff to the doctor explaining why I thought I was autistic, giving examples, printed off a completed online autism screen, I also gave her the details for the local adult autism assessment centers 😳

Do other Autistic people find that they get lonely? I never have, neither has my DD. We like having other people to do things with, but don't feel lonely, we just miss doing things if that makes sense.
I have no idea how people connect/just become friends. I couldn't have walked into a University/work canteen and joined a crowd. It always looked like I was snubbing people, so that didn't help. I don't think or approach tasks like other people, but I think that I am more thorough and organised.
I don't understand why people gossip and that level of interest in other people, neither does my DD (she gets on well in work because of this though).
My communication style has been'off' all of my life but I find it annoying how we have to dress things up and can't just take what is being said at face value and move on. I think that this is a further issue for autistic women. I had the issues pp had.
I've just spent the most of Christmas day alone and it was bliss, I'm spending the day alone today. I love the decorating, food, drink but you can keep the rest.
I could be a professional procrastinator.

Also, me and my DD can't just watch something without dissecting it, looking up actors, sub plot lines etc. At least we are in good company.

I realised I have many autistic traits quite recently. I have always known this at some level but didn't realise I am autistic. I did the online test. I am over 70 and I decided I don't need a formal diagnosis. I think ask yourself what use it would be. But I have found the self diagnosis and understanding very useful as I can think to myself 'that's my autism, now how best to deal with/respond to the situation'.
I have also been able to make sense of a lot of childhood things where I have just assumed all my life that I was a bad person. I was a very difficult child and I feel sorry for my parents but I now realise it was not my fault as such. There was no understanding of these things in those days.

There are lots of YouTubes about autism by autistic people and I found and find these very helpful. Also if you go to Chris Packham's website you will find a couple of very useful videos where he talks about his autism.

Interestingly I found that women often experience autism very differently to men and are often under diagnosed. Women do 'masking' ie pretending to be normal, very well. I told a few very close friends about my discovery and all except one refused to believe me. I have become so skilled at 'passing'.

I was slightly hurt by my friends attitudes but have ignored it. I just realise that most of the time they do not have a clue about the 'real' me and it doesn't matter. I found a YouTube where one of the commentators described having exactly the same experience with her friends.

My autism links to my MBTI character traits and I have found that a very useful tool over many years. You can do an online MBTI test and again there are lots of YouTubes about the different personality characteristics. The You Tubes also have lots of interesting comments of the 'me too' variety.

One of the big pluses from my self diagnosis is that as I am now retired I can do as I please, not engage in activiities/relationships that require too much masking and I don't enjoy without guilt. It is very freeing. The insight does help me navigate the world to my best advantage.

PS I have used the word 'normal' as a shorthand for people who aren't autistic but I often wonder how 'normal' normal really is. Many of my autistic characteristics have been a source of strength for me in my life, a positive benefit.

I just leave the normies to get on with it now and do my own thing. Really am living my best life.

Watch Sarah Hendrickx on YouTube. She's brilliant.

Thanks everyone.

I don't want anything done about it, I just need to justify why I feel so weird all the time, and I guess a proper diagnosis would confirm that? As PP said "oh that's my autism making me think that!"

Thanks again, your replies have helped a lot