Visitors with sleeping children

[TheSpyWhoSleighedMe]

Family member will stay in the car for hours if their child or children are asleep! waiting for them to wake - and I do mean hours! This is their third baby, she’s nearly two. They’ve done this for every child, every time they visit. When it was just one baby both husband & wife will stay in the car. Recently one parent will remain with the sleeping child/ren and the other will come inside with whoever is awake.

Lunch is on the table getting cold. They arrived at 11:30, it’s now 13:43.

Aibu for thinking it’s odd (and giving my myself a headache with the amount of eye rolling).

The parent who just ‘stomped off’ said we’re unfair to start eating. They had a drink in their hand which they poured down the sink and slammed the door as they went outside. This is mild behaviour from them.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers…. I wouldn’t have them over again. Why should everyone else’s food be ruined?

Who are these people?
Don’t invite them again. They sound like nightmares and unpleasant people. Even if they are your/DH’s siblings, sack them off.

This is one family who would never get another invitation to my house again.

You have my every sympathy OP. This sounds like my sister. Her kids were the most important people in the world and everyone was expected to plan everything around them.

Stop inviting these pisstakers. If they cause drama so be it ¯\(ツ)/¯

So how long do they expect you to wait? Their DC has been sleeping for over 2 hours already.
I really think you'll have to stop inviting them over, especially for lunch. Maybe next time they can host

The issue isn’t the naps. The parents are rude and entitled. If that were me, and I was a bit PFB about naps (I only have 1 DC) but I would never in a million years have suggested that everyone wait for me. Especially with a two year old. I’d be mortified if folk waited for me!! And if I didn’t think something would work, I would have actually declined the invite. My DSM insists on inviting us for dinners at 7pm, but I know full well it would be 730/745 and that’s far too late for my 5 year old so I just pass/suggest something that suits better!

They want everyone to delay Christmas lunch for 2 HOURS???

OP why did everyone go along with this, it's completely batshit

So what if they kick off, let them

The best thing to do from now on OP is to minimise contact with them as far as you can. If you do need to have contact with them then be very clear about the schedule in advance and that you will not be waiting for hours on end while their baby naps.

They are rude and entitled people who sadly have not been stood up to properly to let them know that life does not revolve around their baby's sleep schedule.

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie

They sound batshit. Why on earth do you continue to invite them?

The mum uses MN a lot and I was trying not to be too outing but that has probably gone out the window!

Why do I continue bothering with them? They are my child so guilt & family obligation. But I am learning & my DH is more than supportive.

Weird that you allow someone into your house who throws drink around, calls you names, emotionally abuses you and ‘punishes’ you for months on end. Why not stop?

@TedMullins

Stop inviting these pisstakers. If they cause drama so be it ¯\\(ツ)/¯

This, with big brass bells on !

You raised this person?

Just call in to their house for a brief while next xmas. If you feel the need. No more fuelling the theatrics.

That is hard if it is your child, so I do understand you putting up with more than you would from anyone else for the sake of contact.

OP, if I behaved that way round at my mum's I'd probably get a clipped ear!

Just go and make a accident let loud noise outside 🤣

I think it’s crazy, if you’ve been invited to Christmas lunch you just wake the child up or carefully carry it indoors and place on the sofa. No way would I be delaying lunch for them.

If they’re your child surely that puts you in the perfect position to say oh for goodness sake son/daughter, if you choose to sit out in the car that’s your lookout but we’ll be eating indoors without you. And if you won’t join in with our schedule you’d be better having Christmas at your own house. Are you scared of laying boundaries with your own children?

I might have been the parent sitting in the car with my sleeping child. She rarely napped well on the go and if we managed to get her to sleep there was no chance I was messing with that. The difference is that I would absolutely insist that you eat lunch on time. Not a chance I would ask you to hold things up for us.

Surely you'd just move them in the car seat ... it can be done.

It's absolute madness. Sleeping childen can be easily carried into the house, they are not unexploded bombs.

Oh dear. They really are being silly/rude. Hope it improves as the day goes on.

Ahh of course it's harder if it's your child, you don't want to lose contact with your grandchildren

Are they difficult generally? Are they trying to punish you somehow?

@NommyChompers

They almost definitely DONT want to stop you all eating so stop being a martyr and just eat when it’s ready and they can warm up a plate or whatever. It doesn’t need to be a huge deal

OP has added that they do mind. However, it’s bad enough making the adults wait, but keeping the hungry children waiting isn’t on.

Haha that reminds me of this Catherine Tate sketch hopfully the link works 😂