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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cut my SD from my will

98 replies

WickedSM21 · 24/12/2021 21:30

I know what abuse I’ll get. I don’t care. My SD is a nasty woman - she’s 30. When she was a child I did nothing but care and be kind and she threw it all back in my face. I do not want her getting a penny of my estate when I die. I have other children with her father. How do I make sure my will is able to exclude her? Do I have to get my parents to write me out and pass my inheritance directly to my children or is there a better way? If I die before my spouse he will get everything and then she will by default.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 24/12/2021 21:32

You’re best talking to a solicitor about this.
Merry Christmas and goodwill to all.

AuntieDolly · 24/12/2021 21:38

Change your will to benefit your children instead of your husband? If you leave it to him you cant dictate what he does with it afterwards.

Obsidiansphere · 24/12/2021 21:39

Just omit her from your will, surely.

Henlie · 24/12/2021 21:41

What’s the current set up for you and your DHs Will?

Theimpossiblegirl · 24/12/2021 21:43

If your husband dies first are you planning on keeping her share?

sadpapercourtesan · 24/12/2021 21:43
Xmas Hmm
ClaudiusTheGod · 24/12/2021 21:44

Go and pay for a solicitor to write your will. Get it properly witnessed etc. Fork out for decent legal advice now and your money won’t go to the wrong person later. Your wishes aren’t at all unusual.

Campervan69 · 24/12/2021 21:45

You can set up a trust leaving your husband a life interest in your estate with it all passing to your children on his death.

I've done this myself to protect my children should I die first and my husband remarry after reading some of the stories on here.

tectonicplates · 24/12/2021 21:47

You need to take proper legal advice, OP. These things happen more than people realise. It will cost a few hundred pounds but it will be worth the money for a solicitor to make sure the wording is absolutely right in a way that can't be messed about with.

DPotter · 24/12/2021 21:48

Definitely seek legal advice.

I'm leaving my estate directly to my DD, not her father, my DP.

It seems fair that your DH should leave his estate to your SD and your joint children and you leave yours to your children. So yes, the estates will be split differently but that's the way it is with families with re-marriages and step-children. Your parents could re-do their will, so that in the event of your death before them, any bequests should go straight to your children. If they are still minors at this point any money could be held in trust until they are 18 or whatever

Aprilx · 24/12/2021 21:49

How do I make sure my will is able to exclude her

You just write your will to exclude her. 🙄

VodselForDinner · 24/12/2021 21:50

What assets did your husband bring into the marriage?

Let’s just say the house you’re living in was his before you met, you would be pretty vile to disinherit her.

Absolutely, ring-fence your own property, but not allowing her to inherit anything of her dad’s should he die first is awful.

Imdreamingofapeacefulxmas · 24/12/2021 21:52

Op I'm presuming she will get her due morally from her owner dm and her dad?

There's your side. My side, and the truth.

The truth is always in the middle somewhere because we all have different perspectives.

Wopies · 24/12/2021 21:53

@VodselForDinner

What assets did your husband bring into the marriage?

Let’s just say the house you’re living in was his before you met, you would be pretty vile to disinherit her.

Absolutely, ring-fence your own property, but not allowing her to inherit anything of her dad’s should he die first is awful.

This.
anon12345678901 · 24/12/2021 21:55

@VodselForDinner

What assets did your husband bring into the marriage?

Let’s just say the house you’re living in was his before you met, you would be pretty vile to disinherit her.

Absolutely, ring-fence your own property, but not allowing her to inherit anything of her dad’s should he die first is awful.

I agree. You can remove her from your estate, but if her dad has assets, you can't remove her from that. She's his daughter.
CallMeRachel · 24/12/2021 21:55

Yabu as it’s Christmas Eve and not really in the spirit and all that…Xmas Confused

Has something happened today that’s made things flare up?

Bear in mind that I’m doing something like this will likely negatively affect her relationship with her siblings (your children) and leave them in a very awkward situation.

Did you ever try to understand her hurt as a child?

godmum56 · 24/12/2021 21:58

its not up to you what your parents do and you can't write your will and include your expectations of what your parents, or anybody, might leave you. Take legal advice about how to write your own will regarding your own estate.

LakieLady · 24/12/2021 21:59

If your house is in joint names, and held as joint tenants as opposed to tenats in common, it automatically goes to him if you die first, ditto any money in joint accounts.

Campervan69 · 24/12/2021 22:02

@LakieLady

If your house is in joint names, and held as joint tenants as opposed to tenats in common, it automatically goes to him if you die first, ditto any money in joint accounts.
Yes, you would need to sever the joint tenancy which is again something simple that your solicitor would be able to action for you.
me4real · 24/12/2021 22:07

There's your side. My side, and the truth. The truth is always in the middle somewhere because we all have different perspectives.

@Imdreamingofapeacefulxmas Not necessarily- some people genuinely are abusive liars, and the other party their victim.

AnneLovesGilbert · 24/12/2021 22:11

It sounds like you’ve got mirror wills?

So get separate ones, leave what you want to whom you want. You can mention people to exclude, I did that with my ex’s name.

DH’s half goes to all 3 of his DC, mine goes to just my own/our shared DC.

SlashBeef · 24/12/2021 22:23

Can you not just skip straight to the arsenic OP?

StFrancisdeCompostela · 24/12/2021 22:25

You and your husband both need to speak to a solicitor. You will both need to draft wills which state that upon your deaths, your assets pass to your children and not to one another. He will need to exclude you from his will, in order to protect his SD’s share in the event that you predecease him.

Hunderland · 24/12/2021 22:30

If my kids had someone do this to any of them, I know they would split it between them and the excluded.

My point being you're not going to be here so you can't control it from the grave Xmas Hmm

AnneLovesGilbert · 24/12/2021 22:32

If my kids had someone do this to any of them, I know they would split it between them and the excluded.

Is one of them horrible to people they expect to inherit from?