Cut my SD from my will

[WickedSM21]

I know what abuse I’ll get. I don’t care. My SD is a nasty woman - she’s 30. When she was a child I did nothing but care and be kind and she threw it all back in my face. I do not want her getting a penny of my estate when I die. I have other children with her father. How do I make sure my will is able to exclude her? Do I have to get my parents to write me out and pass my inheritance directly to my children or is there a better way? If I die before my spouse he will get everything and then she will by default.

@Hunderland

If my kids had someone do this to any of them, I know they would split it between them and the excluded.

My point being you're not going to be here so you can't control it from the grave

Even with Step siblings?

Some people really need to learn how to read. The SDs own father is saying she is out of line now and that op is right. Could it possibly be, you know, true? The daughter is just acting like a bitch to get her own way? No no of course not, people never act that way...

Just talk to a solicitor op. They can help you do this if that's what you want.

@hidingmystatus Asset division on divorce is different to asset division when someone dies. When someone dies whilst still married the will is no more powerful than a marriage certificate.

For everything to work in OPs favour her husband has to die first.

@Monday55 On this thread, as on others, people have asserted that merely being married makes assets and liabilities joint. That's not true.
Asset division on death is covered by the Will or intestacy rules. The latter is different depending on marital status, but a valid Will takes priority.
The OP can leave her assets, held in her sole name, any way she pleases on death, because they are hers, NOT joint. Her DH will only have rights to those assets in joint names, those she Wills to him, or those that he acquires under intestacy rules.
(That is why, if a house is owned in a particular way (I can never remember what it's called), the deceased can leave their share outright to a beneficiary and the beneficiary can, though the courts may put conditions on it, force the house to be sold to get their share, even if the spouse doesn't want that. But the mere fact that the house was a marital asset doesn't stop the deceased's share of it (if owned in this way) being left to someone other than the spouse.
Similarly, if the deceased owned shares, or had a bank account, in their sole name, they can leave those anywhere they pleased, regardless of the marital status.)
Marriage does NOT override the ownership of an asset if it is in a sole name, and the provisions of the Will, if one is made, or the laws of intestacy, will determine where that asset goes. If she is intestate, then those rules will apply.
So OP's inheritance, which she has said is in an account in her sole name, can be left as she pleases IF she makes a will, which she should ASAP.
In this case, however, the OP definitely needs legal advice from a good solicitor, to ensure that she can achieve what she wants to.

I'm pretty sure (not a lawyer) that step children, u less they have later been adopted by the step parent aren't counted as children for intestacy rules. My father had to leave a specific separate amount for my half brother to allow for this.
Make sure you engage a wills and probate specialist.
Could be worth leaving just a small sum of money to her anyway though- take the higher ground in death?

You don't have to leave her anything. I'd see a solicitor to make sure of the wording, but legally you don't have to include her since she isn't your daughter .

I haven't left my husband's sons anything in my will. If DH dies before me I'll inherit everything, and when I die my own children will get everything of mine. My situation might be a bit different from yours since I married DH after his sons were already grown up , so they were never dependent on me at any time.

I see no reason to leave his sons anything - their mother will leave them plenty of money when she goes, so if I left them some of my estate it would be a double dip for them . And since they've never shown me any respect at all, I'm not inclined to give them a penny after I'm gone.

You do need to make sure of your wording op , so see a solicitor to get it done correctly.

@ShippingNews

I hope you won't keep your husbands side of the estate from his sons though? Op isn't going to do that, she's only keeping her side away from his daughter.

Tbh op i dont think you can disinherit her from her own dad's will. What exactly has she done?

Oh people really can't see past the end of their own nose sometimes or even try to consider that others' circumstances may be different from theirs. Some people are just not very nice and that's just the way it is. Being a step daughter, daughter whatever does not automatically make someone a great human being.

My SS stole from me, took my car and wrote it off, assaulted me and broke my arm, assaulted his dad, put our DD in hospital when he pushed her down the stairs (he was 22, she was 13) and so, SO many more things than I care to write here. We were a 'normal' blended family, whatever that is, lovely home, both working etc. We tried our absolute best for him but he was and is an unpleasant narcissist who broke our hearts. I'm 100% convinced that he caused my darling DH the heart attack that killed him at 50.

So no, although he quite rightly got the significant share of inheritance when his dad died - he turned up the day DH died to find out 'how much'. He certainly won't get another penny of my money just because he happens to be my SS.

And as for the not being impressed that the SD probably wasn't impressed with her dad shagging someone 15 years older than her, that's utterly ridiculous. I am 17 years older than SS and DH was 19 years older than him. Hardly unusual or weird.

@Hunderland

If my kids had someone do this to any of them, I know they would split it between them and the excluded.

My point being you're not going to be here so you can't control it from the grave

@Hunderland

If my kids had someone do this to any of them, I know they would split it between them and the excluded

Not necessarily. You can't know how people would behave

Slightly similar scenario in my family, where everyone assumed the deceased would have left £ to siblings equally. The ones who inherited didn't share with their siblings. They justified it on the basis that they were following what X would have wanted

@THisbackwithavengeance

Hmm.

I would like to hear her side of the story.

When she was a little girl, she probably wasn't very impressed with her dad shagging someone only 15 years older than her.

But hey ho.

But if the assets are yours and inherited from your parents then it's fair enough she shouldn't get a share of those and these should pass to your own kids. I don't think anyone would say that's unfair.

But morally she should get a share of any assets currently owned by your DH or potentially inherited from his side. But you sound bitter enough to try and exclude her from those as well. You are probably banking on your (older) DH dying first and you inheriting the lot.

Presumably she will inherit from her own DM?

Merry Christmas!

Yeh I think so too

She will get what’s coming to her from her Dad but as it stands that’s not much. Please can people read the posts - even if it’s just what I’ve said. It’s all been covered.

It is not as simple as just writing a will excluding her.

If the OP dies before her DH, he will inherit whatever chunk of her estate that the OP chooses to provide for him in her will.

The problem is that he can then do whatever he wants with all this and can leave it to his DD when he dies.

The OP would not want this.

OP, you need proper legal advice to ensure your estate remains within the 'bloodline'. Not cheap, but worth it, and as someone said upthread, don't just go to a local solicitor who deals mainly with conveyancing, you need someone with specialist knowledge.

Get advice as she can still contest the Will. I have family in a situation like this and frankly they will likely have no inheritance left once they are done fighting it. This person was only given a 10% share of the WIll After physically assaulting her mother and sister and cutting off the family but while I doubt she will be able to win any claim she can and has cost the family tens of thousands already.

No judgement here, but you need to speak to a solicitor.

@ShippingNews

You don't have to leave her anything. I'd see a solicitor to make sure of the wording, but legally you don't have to include her since she isn't your daughter .

I haven't left my husband's sons anything in my will. If DH dies before me I'll inherit everything, and when I die my own children will get everything of mine. My situation might be a bit different from yours since I married DH after his sons were already grown up , so they were never dependent on me at any time.

I see no reason to leave his sons anything - their mother will leave them plenty of money when she goes, so if I left them some of my estate it would be a double dip for them . And since they've never shown me any respect at all, I'm not inclined to give them a penny after I'm gone.

You do need to make sure of your wording op , so see a solicitor to get it done correctly.

The OP wouldn't have to leave her anything even if she was her actual DD.

She can draw up a will to leave her assets to exactly who she likes. It is advisable to make specific reference in the will that a natural child of the deceased is being consciously left out and reasons why to avoid the possibility of a claim being made against the estate on the grounds that the deceased simply forgot to include them when drawing up the will.

This all assumes that the OP is in England or Wales, as have pretty much all posts here. I believe Scottish law does not allow natural children to be disinherited though step children can be.

As others have said, a good solicitor specialising in wills will take care of all this.

And for the record, I think OP is perfectly justified in acting this way from reading the full facts of how SD has behaved.

You leave her a buck so she can’t contest it and you write down WHY. You are under no obligation to leave her nasty self anything. You set up a trust for your half to be left to your children. Then he can’t circumvent your wishes or sell the house out from under your kids. My mother tried doing that to my stepfathers kids when he died. Fortunately he had me write his will as a trust and that outsmarted any schemes she had about being greedy.

If you're renting it's straightforward to just name your children, it's not like you're turfing your DH out of the house. Yes to getting a solicitor as I think you'll need a trust etc.

You loved you step daughter when she was younger and I suppose you can see that a lot of her behaviour is down to her loyalty to her mother. Would you cut your own blood daughter off if she behaved badly? Our own kids can be challenging and personally I would reconsider SD as she was a big part of your life.

Also if you are married and have been for a long time , any money you have acquired in that time is a joint asset. So if you die it doesn't matter if you stashed it away from here or there it would go to your husband. It's a different situation if you enter a marriage with money or existing children and have a legal agreement.

That sounds fair enough to me. People don't always include step children in their wills. But you need to make this clear when drawing up your will.

[quote Monday55]@hidingmystatus Asset division on divorce is different to asset division when someone dies. When someone dies whilst still married the will is no more powerful than a marriage certificate.

For everything to work in OPs favour her husband has to die first.[/quote]
Well that's a bundle of joy!

Apparently if you leave her something trivial in the will, it shows she’s not been cut out of it. So it’s better to leave a nominal gift, £100, or a painting, than nothing. But, go to a solicitor. She’s only a stepdaughter anyway.

This thread started last December. OP has probably sorted it all out by now.