AIBU Mother In Law from hell

[Mama8474749]

AIBU?
Last week, my mother in law spoke to me and told me social services will be in touch as my child is malnourished (all coz she wouldn’t eat the food that she’d given her). I took it on the chin despite being extremely upset, she’s not malnourished, in fact she’s a couple of pounds over and eats well some days, and some days less so (find me a kid who doesn’t)

I’ve now just had word that unless we take lateral flow tests in the car outside (she wants to watch through the window of said car so she knows we’ve done it) and she won’t let us in to her house tomorrow.

I’ve been super careful with Covid and my hubby tested positive after seeing her when she’d had a close contact trace from a flight so feel it’s a bit pot and kettle.

AIBU in telling her to take a long walk?

Are some of these threads made up or what?

OP seems totally accepting of the fact that MIL reported her to SS, but is aghast at the LF test request.

I dunno, if it is true there is something else going on. It is all a bit bizarre to me.

@Theunamedcat is right. This will go on for years unless you put steel boundaries in place. Life is far too short for this nonsense. It will be something else after this but basically your word isn't good enough.

Get a grip, you are not helping your children by showing them that bullies get what they want. Tell her to fuck off and stay at home. Tell her unless she makes a serious apology for her disgraceful behaviour. I speak from experience, show her a will of iron, you have what she wants (her grandchildren) protect them and show her you are in charge now.

@NowEvenBetter

You’re going to go ‘for the kids’? Don’t blame it on them, own your feebleness, your husband should have put an end to this shit, where is he in this farce?

This this this. She is using your children to control and belittle you, tell me how this is good for them.

A covid test in the car!!??is she off her head.she sounds a horrid control freak.I would keep far far away from her and certainly never leave my kids with her.what an unpleasant,nasty piece of work.

Tell her to back off with her idiotic demands if she wants to see her GC.

Maybe the MIL is scared? OP, have you said anything that might suggest you don’t want to do the LFT? There are members of my family who I love very much, but wouldn’t trust them to take the LFT. Or perhaps she just wants you to take the test at the last possible minute, ie in the car.

Covid infection could mean the difference between life and death for some people. We need to be a bit more accommodating of people’s fears.

OP,

Are you in an abusive, controlling relationship?

Because the only reason IMO a woman would be visiting a MIL like this would be because of domestic abuse.

I wouldn't be visiting and I wouldn't be facilitating a relationship with my children with a woman who threatens me.

@billy1966

OP,

Are you in an abusive, controlling relationship?

Because the only reason IMO a woman would be visiting a MIL like this would be because of domestic abuse.

I wouldn't be visiting and I wouldn't be facilitating a relationship with my children with a woman who threatens me.

This ^

Are you really going to 'go for the kids'? OP

You would take your dc's visit an interfering, controlling busybody who reported their mother to a government agency?

I am appalled.

And, yes, where is your DH in all this ?

Well, thanks for the advice guys! Helpful, unhelpful, abusive and kind, I appreciate it all.

No, I’m not in an abusive relationship but I am a people pleaser, much to my own detriment.

I did however not go. And made my reasons clear as to why.

Good for you. We'll done.

Well done OP.

Well done you!

Well.done.

Well done. Draw a boundary here - this is not acceptable.

That was the right choice imo.

It's perfectly fine to want you to test before visiting, but not to expect you all to juggle tests around in the car.

@MaitreKarlsson

Well done. Draw a boundary here - this is not acceptable.

I second this ^.

Now stay strong OP.

Well done!!

Well done OP.

Stay strong.

I’ve now just had word that unless we take lateral flow tests in the car outside (she wants to watch through the window of said car so she knows we’ve done it) and she won’t let us in to her house tomorrow.

Surely this is the result you want?

Why would you bother visiting someone who has made a vexatious report to social services about you?

@Mama8474749

Not Christmas, literally less than an hour to keep the peace.

The trouble with "keeping the peace" by kowtowing to unreasonable people is that you end up being the perennial peace-keeper, at the expense of your own wellbeing.

YOU would have much more peace by simply not going.
You will never find peace from her obnoxious behaviours by indulging them.

@Mama8474749

For the kids? I guess.

I’d almost moved past it all in my head, made excuses for her etc, for my OH to come in and tell me about the bloody testing thing.

Why do you want to expose your kids to her batshittery & unpleasantness?

And WELL DONE for deciding not to go.

A great saying that I read on here is "the trouble with keeping the peace is you cause a war inside yourself".

@SituationCritical

Tell her to save her the stress of worrying about covid you won't come. Sounds like a win for you not having to go. I certainly wouldn't speak to someone ever again who had reported me to social services for nothing.

This. She is a risk to your child - why are you even THINKING about ever seeing her again?

As an adult you recognise this batshittery. Why offer up dc to appease such a person??
Dc DON'T NEED SUCH PEOPLE!!
Being related isn't a good enough reason.
Bloody glad you didn't go op!!
Mil wasting a call to ss that could be time best served on an actual abused dc..