AIBU Mother In Law from hell

[Mama8474749]

AIBU?
Last week, my mother in law spoke to me and told me social services will be in touch as my child is malnourished (all coz she wouldn’t eat the food that she’d given her). I took it on the chin despite being extremely upset, she’s not malnourished, in fact she’s a couple of pounds over and eats well some days, and some days less so (find me a kid who doesn’t)

I’ve now just had word that unless we take lateral flow tests in the car outside (she wants to watch through the window of said car so she knows we’ve done it) and she won’t let us in to her house tomorrow.

I’ve been super careful with Covid and my hubby tested positive after seeing her when she’d had a close contact trace from a flight so feel it’s a bit pot and kettle.

AIBU in telling her to take a long walk?

Having spent 20 years with a horrible MIL (and FIL) you need to take back control. By complying you're telling her you'll dance to her abusive tune. I know - I lived it for too long until MIL crossed the line (verbally abusive).

The ONLY solution was to shut down demands /abuse, minimise contact & make IL's H's problem. IL's now nice as they know I won't tolerate their crap & will just walk away.

We also just discovered SIL bought DC gifts, after we agreed not to unless we saw them at Xmas, so we haven't bought for DN. Told H his problem, sort it out. SIL's ignoring his messages but I'm not stressing. Instead H gets to experience their crap first hand & is currently p*ssed off instead of sitting on the sidelines, telling me I'm over reacting. It's liberating to not care.

No, I wouldn't go.

Keeping the peace for children doesn’t always work. There’s nothing to be gained by promoting a relationship with relatives like your MIL. They will just think it’s ok for people to be controlling and make threats against their loved ones.

Do them a huge favour and show them they don’t have to maintain relationships with toxic people.

She behaves like this because she can..

My ex MIL tried this shit with me, until she realised are couldn't..

What a horrible controlling woman! I am truly gobsmacked she can threaten to call SS AND say she has to watch you do lft.
I’d have symptoms of Covid in the morning, lft says negative but well you can’t take risks can you? Better stay home.

Tell her to fuck the fuck off and to kiss your arse...FUCK HER is what I say...merry Christmas to you and go no contact...cheeky bitch

she*

1. She is a cow for the comment about malnourished.
2. YABU for not doing a lateral flow outdoors. The results can change within an hour so I don't think she is being completely out of order.

To do the tests properly you need a flat service and to have washed your hands. Not pissing about in the car.

But that's irrelevant, there's no reason to spend time with someone so awful.
For the kids doesn't wash, she gets so het up over a toddler refusing a meal, that she threatens social services, no kid should be around that.

The only two words I would say to this person is fuck and off. Why you are contemplating spending Christmas day with her is beyond my comprehension. She reported you to Social Services FFS! I don't have children and can only begin to imagine how this made you feel.

Forget doing tests in the car or anything else. Enjoy your Christmas at home, even if you have to order a takeaway tomorrow.

She would be lucky to see my child ever again (if I had one) over my dead body!

Is she perhaps living with some kind of social disorder which has tipped into more significant mental health issue ? Hugely over controlling (both daughter issue and test conditions) and no idea how it appears to others, etc.
Good luck op.

I would be hoping for a positive lateral flow. I would not go tomorrow.

Absolutely don't go! It's totally fair to do LFT before visiting - but the rest, well Hell could freeze over.

Why are you even contemplating this?
Tell her to fuck off
Seriously just do it, your OH can do what he wants but I'd be seriously giving her a wide berth until... well until forever tbh

Why an earth would you countenance going there at all after the eating debacle? Surely you’d have a terrible time anyway?

At the end of the day she is the one who will miss out. Put your foot down, don’t go. Just have a nice day with your own little family unit. She has made her bed and now must lie on it. Horrible woman. She does not deserve contact with your little family and you shouldn’t let yourself be bullied.

Why are you even entertaining her??? Stop it now

Reasonable to request a LFT but tbh I'd say it was positive so you couldnt go tomorrow after the social services threat!

I wouldn't be going.

Don't go!!

Sod her, the spiteful cow. Don't spend the day at her place.

@Prescottdanni123

I would do the lateral flow test in the car as required, wind the window down, shout "Oh fuck, it's positive," and then drive off.

Or even "Oh fantastic, it's positive" and drive off cheering.

@SugarHouse1

Just do the tests as she asked. It’s not that big a deal. You’ve said you’ll go and presumably your DD is looking forward to it.

Of course it’s a big deal - it’s a massive control issue and I’d be telling her where to shove it! Of course do the test, but why on Earth would anyone consider giving into the bullying and perform the tests whilst they watch? Utterly ridiculous !!

@SugarHouse1 you are joking right??

What is it with these pushover threads lately? Seriously OP, she's a control freak. Your bloke should be dealing with this shit. Send him on his own to see his mother and stay at home.

Make some new years resolutions to stand up for yourself.