. . . to not feel grateful for these gifts?

[Ungratefulandguilty]

I think I'm about to have my arse handed to me but here goes . . . I feel a little bit sad today because it's my birthday and I think I'm feeling a little disappointed that the people closest to me either don't know me very well or haven't really given me much thought. I've received a couple of gifts that I just don't understand - my mum gave me a huge silver glittery ornament that is so far removed from my taste (well, anyone's taste, actually) that it's almost comical. My best friend gave me a travel coffee mug - I don't drink tea or coffee, and I work from home so I'll never use it. Another close friend gave me a tin of shortbread biscuits . . . but I have coeliac disease and can't eat things like that.

I realise I sound ungrateful, and I think there are two problems - my birthday falls very close to Christmas and people are busy, and I spend time and effort selecting birthday presents for other people that I know they'll like - I look at the labels they buy, the jewellery they wear, the products they use, and choose things accordingly. So I contrast my effort with their perceived lack of effort and equate this to them not caring about me very much.

I know it's trivial in the grand scheme of things and I'll shake it off, it doesn't matter really, I just needed to release a bit of disappointment!

Give friend one the ornament, friend 2 the travel mug and your Mum can have the shortbread.

No, YANBU. They’re all thoughtless and lousy.

oh or the restaurant voucher i got.. £10 but the cheapest meal in there was £60 per plate, i was a mother to 2 babies on universal credit

I hear ya, OP.

It was my birthday on Tuesday and I’m still waiting on my mother to give me a card.

Christmas birthdays are the worst.

My birthday last week. The 'best' presents I got were a bunch of the only flowers I detest (chrysanthemum) and only chocolate I hate (galaxy).

I work from home and use a travel mug, it keeps my drink hot !!

Happy birthday!
It’s also my birthday today...my 50th...and my partner gave me a small bunch of supermarket flowers, made me breakfast (but not for the kids) and told me I was lucky. 🙄

We don't do friends presents. We meet up for a drink or a coffee instead

Happy birthday 🎂. My mother buys the worst presents ever..it enrages me. She buys awful things no one would ever want simply because they were a bargain price and then later decides who she could give them to. I have literally been handed gifts with the words I can't imagine anyone will want this so I thought I'd give it to you. She has plenty of money. She's just tight and disinterested in other people.

Regift the shit presents to those 3 - give friend 1 the ornament, friend 2 the travel mug and mom the biscuits!

That does sound a bit rubbish, sorry OP! Happy Birthday though! Can you spend a bit of the time, effort and cash you usually spend on thoughtful presents for everyone else at Christmas and use it to do something for yourself instead? Sounds like you 100% deserve it

Happy Birthday 🥳

YADNBU… Christmas birthdays are the absolute pits (mine is on Saturday so I know all about it) people just seem to make no effort at all and those presents sound rubbish.

Happy Birthday. It's my birthday today and I have exactly the same issues! DH forgot to buy a card - his excuse was he was so busy sorting out Christmas- my gripe every year, although I did get a present which was useful.

Happy Birthday op. Its lousy. Feel Im done making efforts for people going forward! My mother usually recycles some chocs that we dont eat here !

Those gifts are shite, by any standards.

I would be too embarrassed to give something so poor.

I think you need to give equivalent gifts.
Silly to be gifting thoughtful gifts when you receive Petrol station gifts.

Happy birthday.

Gosh op they are crap presents. Happy birthday.

It's ok to be sad that people you'd hope knew you better either don't, or didn't put the thought into a gift.

I hate blingy stuff and for our crystal anniversary my mum bought us a Dartington crystal vase. Nice enough except it had enough swarovski crysals stuck onto it to make a 5 year old happy. She then got all huffy that I didn't like it because 'it was the only crystal she could afford'. I went online and the un-embellished version was £20 less. It was simply that she liked the one that looked like she won it at the fair, there is nothing remotely like it in my home. My point is that some people can't get past what they like, or would like, when buying gifts.

That’s disappointing alright. I don’t mind people not spending much as not everyone can afford expensive things. But to get things that are silly or wholly inappropriate is just thoughtless and I’d be pissed off too.

I feel your pain.

It's my birthday tomorrow. I know DH has got me a spa voucher and flowers so I do have some nice gifts. However, whenever it's anyone's birthday I set up the table the night before with all their gifts and balloons etc. I doubt he'll have thought to do anything like that as he's still sorting out his Christmas stuff.

I would love to see the glittery ornament. At least it can have some amusement value.

I relate OP. Really not looking forward to having to fake pleasure at receiving another Bayliss & Harding gift set from my MIL. I'd honestly rather she saved the money.

Raging we won't get to see the ornament.

Happy Birthday op!!

God I would be cringing doing that and zero effort. I think sometimes with Dec or Jan they think we be happy with any old shite! Drives me crazy

Same issue. Bday today too. Dunno what was worse the old man slippers or the pack of tea lights.

I have a feeling I would like the glittery ornament to be honest!
The mug and the shortbread - those people were not thinking.

It seems to me they couldn’t be arsed to shop specifically for your birthday with it being so close to Christmas so have just grabbed anything or have offloaded their unwanted presents from last year. Not nice but maybe you should start doing the same. You never know, if that ornament is passed around enough it might one year fall into the hands of someone who actually likes it! Fingers crossed and Happy Birthday 🎂