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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Permit me a litte rant please...

130 replies

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 23/12/2021 13:49

...so that I don't explode at home!! Two stepsons have been with us for less than 24 hours - arrived at 5pm last night. In that time they have managed to generate an entire basket full of washing (not a small one) and drank most of the milk that I have in the house. Husband is blind to it so I have to instruct him to put the washing machine on while I hide in my office quietly seething. I mean how the fuck is it even possible to dirty that many clothes in less than 24 hours? AIBU to think they are saving this shit up for when the come to stay with us?!

OP posts:
WildFlowerBees · 23/12/2021 16:46

Don't do their washing don't buy more milk let their dad sort it. We have adult dsd coming tomorrow for the day and evening. Both she and dh hate Christmas so it'll be the best day ever. Hmm

I'm going to be lovely and welcoming then busy myself doing other stuff so they can spend time together.

Original poster
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 23/12/2021 16:50

@WildFlowerBees might I suggest a good old MN spa day to keep out of their way?!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 23/12/2021 16:51

Put your feet up and let your DH it all for them and you seeing as though he is hosting 😉

WildFlowerBees · 23/12/2021 16:52

[quote chocolatesaltyballs22]@WildFlowerBees might I suggest a good old MN spa day to keep out of their way?![/quote]

I'll see you there GrinWine

Original poster
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 23/12/2021 16:53

Now that's an offer I can't refuse!!

OP posts:
Loveisthere · 23/12/2021 16:56

Just a thought but maybe they feel more like guests than family. Maybe they thought if they put the washing on you might sigh and say I was just going to do my washing. Maybe they pick up on the fact that you don't like them and so does your dh so he over compensates. I really think you need to chill out a bit

Original poster
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 23/12/2021 16:58

Erm I don't do washing for 'guests' either....the alternative is that they could actually ask to use the machine. If I'm totally honest I struggle to like them given they make zero effort.

OP posts:
icelolly12 · 23/12/2021 17:00

A small basket of laundry isn't really that big of a deal sounds like it will all fit in one load. They're teenagers, it's Christmas, let it go!

WildFlowerBees · 23/12/2021 17:00

@chocolatesaltyballs22

Now that's an offer I can't refuse!!

Feeling calmer? If not hit the mulled wine and hide because you're 'super busy' Xmas Wink

SockFluffInTheBath · 23/12/2021 17:03

@chocolatesaltyballs22

Erm I don't do washing for 'guests' either....the alternative is that they could actually ask to use the machine. If I'm totally honest I struggle to like them given they make zero effort.
So you don’t want to do it for them but they need your permission to use the washing machine?
AndARiverBeneathYourFeet · 23/12/2021 17:06

The milk drinking!! I have actually experienced this (not from stepkids but other house guests) and it was the thing that pushed me over the edge.

To the shop they go to replace!

PixieLaLa · 23/12/2021 17:09

I wouldn’t be bothered about the milk, if you knew they were coming you or DH should have got extra in. The washing however is a piss take! I would just leave it there unwashed for them to take back home!

BreatheAndFocus · 23/12/2021 17:26

Don’t do their washing. Either just leave it in the laundry bin or fold it up and put it back on their beds. Sounds like they’ll probably think it’s been washed anyway.

As a child, I was always taught to ask if it was ok to have a glass of milk because that was an ‘extra’ whereas milk on cereal and in tea was planned for. Maybe suggest your DH tells them to do that? You can then offer a choice if you don’t have much milk - drink something else or drink the milk and have to go to the shop to replace it.

But I think most of your annoyance is because you see your DH ‘babying’ them. Leave it for now but maybe have a chat with him when they’re not there.

(And wtf is it with boys/men and milk? Ex DH used to stand at the fridge downing a litre numerous times, and ex-twat was constantly getting himself glasses of milk in the evening like a giant baby 🤮)

Animood · 23/12/2021 17:28

@chocolatesaltyballs22

14 and 21 and no.....apparently not. Because we have a washing fairy didn't you know?
Teach them how to use the washing machine and let them crack on.

Send them out for milk. It's only milk ffs! Buy some more!

Original poster
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 23/12/2021 18:09

@SockFluffInTheBath the only reason I suggested they could ask to use the machine is that another poster suggested that they might feel like guests and therefore wouldn't want to just assume to use the machine in case I was planning to use it. As far as I'm concerned they don't need to ask - they can crack on.

OP posts:
SockFluffInTheBath · 23/12/2021 19:07

Ah ok, well when they run out of socks they might start thinking about it Grin

foreverandalways · 23/12/2021 19:10

Take the laundry basket away, put it in the attic if needs be and show them where the washing machine is and to get to the shop to replace the milk...taking the piss 😡

ChargingBuck · 23/12/2021 19:42

[quote chocolatesaltyballs22]@larkle you're forgetting the fact that I didn't give birth to these manchilds(?!) either...so much easier to let it go when it's your own kid. (BTW by own (female, 18yo) 'baby' doesn't get away with this shit![/quote]
Presumably your partner didn't conceal the fact of his DC from you before you decided to cohabit. .
You knew what you were taking on.

I've lost all sympathy now you've explained that you're penalising them for not springing from your own womb ...

ChargingBuck · 23/12/2021 19:45

Because as a previous poster pointed out they will grow up thinking that women will always do this shit for them. And because I don't want wet laundry all over the house over Christmas. And because they must literally have taken off every single item of clothing they were wearing, and then some, in order to make a full wash load in less than 24 hours. I mean, how?!!

Were you not meant to be WFH today?
How have you got the bandwidth to even notice the laundry basket, let alone create so much unnecessary angst for yourself about it?

emsmar · 23/12/2021 19:45

OMg what a pair of awful little bastards, throw them straight out. Thoughts and prayers with you OP.

ChargingBuck · 23/12/2021 19:49

@emsmar

OMg what a pair of awful little bastards, throw them straight out. Thoughts and prayers with you OP.
Throw them out? Of their HOME?

FFS. OP could try communicating like an adult instead ...

Dodgyveneers · 23/12/2021 19:51

@emsmar

OMg what a pair of awful little bastards, throw them straight out. Thoughts and prayers with you OP.
🤣 such a load of drama over nothing isn’t it?
Dodgyveneers · 23/12/2021 19:51

You can feel the seething hatred from each post.

Astronette · 23/12/2021 19:52

Leave the dirty washing in the basket. Then they'll get the message.

BitcherOfBlakiven · 23/12/2021 19:54

@Dodgyveneers

You can feel the seething hatred from each post.
Yep, really can.

Do a deep dive and you’ll see more. I’m familiar with OP.