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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas morning Covid test being demanded

859 replies

Quarks69 · 22/12/2021 08:27

Is everyone else having these? My sister in law has demanded this from my side of the family as her elderly parents are going to be at the dinner. With a family of five and three are my busy teens I am worried that we could end up with no xmas day if one of us is asymptomatic (for the second year running obvs).

I do get that we are in bonkers times, but Was so looking Forward to seeing everyone, including my parents, that this is making me cross...isn’t this the point of the jabs!?

OP posts:
takenforgrantednana · 22/12/2021 20:12

@AdoptDontShop

She’s sounds absolutely fanatical.
@AdoptDontShop and good for her! if a lot more did the same then perhaps we wouldnt be in the mess we are now in?
SoupDragon · 22/12/2021 20:49

If taking the test is a condition of attending it's not a request it's a order.

No it isn't because the OP has the option of declining.

JustLyra · 22/12/2021 20:54

If taking the test is a condition of attending it's not a request it's a order.

It could only be an order if the OP is legally required to attend.

Since she's not, it's a request.

mumofEandE · 22/12/2021 21:06

Yes my DM has said this....sensibly!
There will be elderly DM and DF, DB with health issues and my heavily pregnant DiL

Rainbows246 · 22/12/2021 21:52

We are all testing on Christmas Day. My dads very vulnerable due to certain health conditions and covid. All vaccinated but being as careful as we can while enjoying the day. Don’t see an issue

GenerallyVeryUnreasonable · 22/12/2021 22:37

SIL is totally reasonable. This is exactly why LF tests are freely available in England.

And no, the point of the vax is not allow infected individuals to indiscriminately mingle; it’s to help to reduce a person's viral load so that a) they’re less likely to become severely ill and b) they’re slightly likely to pass the virus on. The vax is not a fail safe.

Twillow · 22/12/2021 22:42

100% the responsible thing to do to protect vulnerable others.
Jabs reduce but not remove risk of catching/transmitting covid.

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 22/12/2021 22:43

YABU and this is completely normal. I tested as routine before a big important family gathering the other day and it was positive. I was and am still incredibly disappointed that I couldn't go (and have cancelled 3 other things with my DC this week too as a result) but rather that that have the guilt of passing it on to someone elderly or vulnerable. Yes I agree it's totally shit that we are all having to deal with this for a 2nd year running but lots of people are missing lots of things. It's not just you! You need to test if that's what she's asking.

Lockeddownagain · 22/12/2021 23:27

I've tested daily for about 5 weeks and I'm continuing it u till all the mixing has stopped on the 27th

allbartwo · 22/12/2021 23:39

@Lockeddownagain

I've tested daily for about 5 weeks and I'm continuing it u till all the mixing has stopped on the 27th
What will you do after the 27th? Just do a test when you see someone, or just stop for good?
RainbowMum11 · 22/12/2021 23:49

Yep we are doing them for Boxing Day due to my relatives vulnerability-?it's fair enough, surely?!

LowlandsAway · 22/12/2021 23:53

Love the way OP writes ‘demanded’ to portray SIL as being in some kind of hysterical and controlling strop instead of someone literally just following current guidelines to LFT before meeting people.

takenforgrantednana · 23/12/2021 01:43

well at some point this morning my husband will be having a talk with our son regarding him and his girlfriends visit to our house on xmas day, basically we are banning her from our house, and even tho they will have done a lft on the morning im sorry that isnt good enough due to constant partying the last 4 weeks, she has been out every other night! i am high risk and even having to spend my xmas eve having tests done for my lung function. you would have liked to think that this girl who my son has been living with now for 10 years would have more sense unless she is deliberately wanting to ruin all of xmas for us? i have tried to talk to my son about this but got nowhere with him claiming that he is an adult and knows what he is doing, clearly he doesnt as he is going to allow his girlfriend to kill his mother! his girlfriend has already had covid 6 weeks ago and she had to be spoken to before she saw sense and stayed at home during her quarrantine where she had to the very last minute sorted a night on the town with the girls to celebrate!

YukoandHiro · 23/12/2021 02:57

@takenforgrantednana the chances of her passing anything on if she had it six weeks ago are very slim indeed. Presumably that's why she's been out making the most of it

DaisyDreaming · 23/12/2021 03:59

I saw a suggestion that we should get ‘expendable‘ T-shirts made for everyone who is vulnerable as people seem to think well if the person had an underlying condition then it’s ok and also seems on here it’s ‘well we didn’t want our chrisfmas ruined’. Maybe if they saw people they knew wearing them word expendable they might get it!

AliveAndSleeping · 23/12/2021 04:13

Op I really feel for teachers. You expose yourself to risk every single day. I'm dd's year group every single one of the teachers she has had has got Covid at some point. Her favourite teacher was off for four months with long Covid. I wish they weren't exposed so much. I wish people were more considerate.

Having said that I have asked my Christmas guests to take an lft before coming and we will be taking one too. Except for the kids we have all had our booster but this doesn't mean that you can't get COVID or can't pass it on. Most people who are jabbed will only get a mild illness or be asymptomatic but some will not. Some will die. I don't want it to be my parents.

Apparently the risk of having severe illness or death of someone over 80 who is jabbed is similar to someone in their 50s who is not jabbed. Elderly people don't have the same immune response as younger ones to the vaccination. They are still at risk.

Yes, they could die of pneumonia or the flu as well but that isn't as likely as COVID. Flu in particular is less likely to kill than Covid. I also assume if you knew that you had the flu or and other infectious disease you wouldn't knowingly expose someone to it.

Your sil is not being unreasonable. We can't eliminate Every risk but lfts are relatively easy to do to reduce some of it. Please just do them and then you can enjoy a guilt free Christmas knowing that you have done everything you can to protect each other.

Merry Christmas!!

takenforgrantednana · 23/12/2021 05:05

[quote YukoandHiro]@takenforgrantednana the chances of her passing anything on if she had it six weeks ago are very slim indeed. Presumably that's why she's been out making the most of it [/quote]
@YukoandHiro im not saying her passing anything on from when she had it 6 weeks ago, im on about when not if she catches it again! which she will do if she carries on the same way

Glitterblue · 23/12/2021 05:05

@Thatsplentyjack

Hang on, you don't want to test incase one of you is asymptomatic? So you want to live in ignorant bliss and go spread covid to her elderly parents so you can all have a lovely christmas day?
This.

We're hosting Christmas Dinner for 11, including my 80 year old dad and my sister in law's dad of a similar age, who has chest/heart problems. DH and I had decided we should ask everyone to do an LFT on Christmas morning, and before I'd had a chance to mention it to my brother, he texted and said he thought it would be a good idea if everyone tested.

So in answer to your question, OP, yes being able to have gatherings is part of what we have the jab but it also allows people to find out they have it, and stop the spread by not going. The jab also means anyone testing positive has a greater chance of it being milder.

sophiasnail · 23/12/2021 05:52

Essentially, I think you have the jab to protect yourself and do lfts to protect other people.

Yuledo · 23/12/2021 06:34

[quote YukoandHiro]@takenforgrantednana the chances of her passing anything on if she had it six weeks ago are very slim indeed. Presumably that's why she's been out making the most of it [/quote]
But 6 weeks ago it was unlikely to be omicron. She’s got as much risk of getting that variant as the rest of us.

takenforgrantednana · 23/12/2021 06:44

@ YukoandHiro look i dont a rats arse which varient of covid she got 6 weeks back, the fact is that she got it. the point being is that i dont want to get it and she is the biggest risk to my health due to her actions now, she has refused to curb her parties and drinking sessions and because of that shes not coming into my house. the fact i mentioned her getting covid 6 weeks ago was to illustrate how her neglegent ways are

fourdaysoff · 23/12/2021 06:50

Only unreasonable if the request was made yesterday and not earlier. Not having this myself but I don't have teenagers.

Decline and have Christmas just the five of you.

HappyDays40 · 23/12/2021 06:58

We are doing this as a risk reduction measure. We are doing lateral flows as my MIL is 92. I won't be asking for proof though. My family are all local authority and NHS workers so they test regularly.

ThinWomansBrain · 23/12/2021 07:01

if you care about seeing them so much, why would you prefer not to check that you don't have COVID, thus potentially killing them off so that they aren't around for next christmas?

But hey, not spoiling your day is so much more important Hmm

londonrach · 23/12/2021 07:05

Everyone I know doing it before seeing family. We are too including my five year old as are my parents and sister and everyone who's coming for lunch. Yabu