nicknames for neighbours

[TheCreamCaker]

Do any of you have nicknames for friends and/or neighbours? Over the years, we've had:

The Lottery Queen (she once won a few thousand and bragged about it for years)
Internet King (used to sit on his PC in the window - with no shirt on)
Father Ted (got a mass of white hair)
Roman Helmet (hair in that shape which is plastered to her head)
Mr Muscle (very petite and short man)
Honey Monster (huge woman with a moustache)
Big 'tache Slipper Man (no description needed)
The Mole (neighbourhood watch lady)
Barry the Bag (always shopping)

Johnny Porn King, called Jonathan, always watching porn by the window. Doesn't seem to realise we can see. Or maybe he does.

We have -
Steve Carrell
Mama Fritelli
Loopy Liz
The black widow
Hey-look-at-me family

Mr and Mrs Van Dog because they have a van and a dog

Scruff Mcduff , next door. Summy as hell

Stumpy: toddler DS' name for the Staffie walked past our house by a tough-looking, well built man every day. One day we got out of the car just as they were passing. DS was ecstatic and asked said tough guy how 'Stumpy' was, was he a boy etc. I nearly died of mortification/laughter. The poor guy was so confused and oddly never seen again.

Derek and Thingy over the road - can never remember her name.
The Rev - not a vicar but a woman who always revs her car engine before pulling away.
Jack the Hat (his name is Jack and he wears a big floppy sun hat).
Shedward - name is Edward and he has a massive shed
The Rudes - I once took a parcel in for them and when I delivered it to their door, she just took it off me and shut the door without a word.
The Weightlifting Wanker - lifts weights in his garage and makes ridiculous sounds like he's being murdered.
Immaculate Clive - washes both cars every week, and has the most immaculate garden I've ever seen. Don't know what his real name is, but looks like a Clive
Weirdy Beardy/William Wallace - Anti-Lockdown warrior always going on about 'our freedom'.
Carolvan - woman called Carol who had a horrible old caravan on her drive that never moved, covered in moss etc.
Smokey - walks past every morning walking his dog and smoking
The Serial Killer - lives alone, fence falling down, never opens the curtains, but has a hole cut out of one, never has any lights on, garden completely overgrown and dark and damp, surrounded by trees, but he has a broken rotary dryer leaning at an angle that occasionally has something like one tie or a pair of pants on it.

My gran lived next door to a couple that always had lots of holidays so became Mr and Mrs holiday.
As a child I didn't know that Mrs holiday wasn't her real name and i got a super telling off for calling her or one day.

The lady who lives in the house in front of mums is known to all of us as Mrs InFront.

Neighbours in the mid 80s were noisy and he was awful. He was thin and weedy, she was fat and loud. My brother referred to them as The Wimp and The Blimp and the names stuck.

Never given nicknames to any other neighbours, just those two.

The Doctor (looks like a Nazi Doctor)
Loud Shirt (wears Hawaiian shirts every day)

Hahaha this thread has made me laugh

Over the years we have had a few with nicknames such as :

Junkyard Joe - his front garden was always full of old rubbish and bits of cars.

Sharon and Tracey - I live in Essex and there were 2 sisters on my street who lived together because their husbands were both in prison. I once called her Sharon in person by mistake as I'd got so used to referring to her as that lol.

Bitty - There was a man in his 50s who lived alone with his mother and always reminded me of the Little Britain sketch.

Victor Meldrew - think most of us have had one of those type of neighbours at some point in their lives.

Mr Motivator - a guy who used to wear neon bright 90s sportswear and shell suits straight out of the 90s to walk his dog, he'd walk past my house every day twice a day.

Blabbermouth.
Baldy C*nt
Mr Wheelie Bins at Dawn
Disney Dad 1 and Disney Dad 3.
and the bloke on the motorbike that takes his toddlers for rides on it, we call him all kinds of things.

@GirlOfTudor

Gary - no idea what his name was but he looked like a Gary.

Lol we also have a Gary because he looked like a Gary and we didn't know his name!

@DomingoinLittleOakley

Derek and Thingy over the road - can never remember her name. The Rev - not a vicar but a woman who always revs her car engine before pulling away. Jack the Hat (his name is Jack and he wears a big floppy sun hat). Shedward - name is Edward and he has a massive shed The Rudes - I once took a parcel in for them and when I delivered it to their door, she just took it off me and shut the door without a word. The Weightlifting Wanker - lifts weights in his garage and makes ridiculous sounds like he's being murdered. Immaculate Clive - washes both cars every week, and has the most immaculate garden I've ever seen. Don't know what his real name is, but looks like a Clive Weirdy Beardy/William Wallace - Anti-Lockdown warrior always going on about 'our freedom'. Carolvan - woman called Carol who had a horrible old caravan on her drive that never moved, covered in moss etc. Smokey - walks past every morning walking his dog and smoking The Serial Killer - lives alone, fence falling down, never opens the curtains, but has a hole cut out of one, never has any lights on, garden completely overgrown and dark and damp, surrounded by trees, but he has a broken rotary dryer leaning at an angle that occasionally has something like one tie or a pair of pants on it.

🤣🤣

Brilliant descriptions

Fairhurst became Fxxkhurst.

Arseholes, they been playing music loudly non stop. Done a night shift and been trying to sleep, before another shift tonight.

Ha we have lots

Homebase - the guy who loves DIY, constantly doing and redoing their house
Beaky - neighbour with a disproportionately large nose
Womble- a neighbour who likes to clear rubbish from the park, he's an absolute saint
Hear no / see no - neighbour who regardless of what happens in the street is totally oblivious
Pivot cental - she lives on the intersection of our road and another and loves to medal

Donkey Man
I had saved him in my e-mail contacts under that exact name.
He seemed to know after we messaged him, and asked why we called him that….(he kept donkeys but was a pita)
My husband fudged it brilliantly by replying something like “mate, as a bloke, I would be chuffed if I were you, to be called Donkey Man” 🤣

Scratched his head and off he went.

Not Ken - thinks he is a Ken doll but is far from it
Sozzled Sue - really sad actually, she's always walking up and down (think 4 or 5 times daily) with an M&S bag with little bottles of wine in it, stopping to take a drink morning noon and night
Pierre - looks French. Definitely isn't
Cougar - self explanatory
The Dickheads - full family of them, 18 yo DS has a house party, throws Xmas trees out the upstairs window while parents sit downstairs ignoring
Nana - looks like my dead Nana
The Invisibles - we know they live there but we never see them
The Perfects - running as a family every single day in their matching running togs without fail at 7am and 7pm

I don't have any where I live now - we know the names of the first 5 or 6 sets of immediate neighbours and don't really know much about anyone further down.

My mum and dad were great neighbour-nicknamers. Where we lived when I was a teenager, there was The Fag-Dog Man (used to walk by rather morosely smoking a cigarette and dragging a reluctant dog along), The Oldest Teenager In The World (male, early adopter of skinny jeans and denim jackets for the middle-aged), Glamorous Gertrude (a rather overdressed lady), Rozzy the Rozzer (rumoured to be a police detective), the Tall Sikh (um, a tall Sikh) and The Submerged Conservatives (they had a Vote Conservative poster in their window, and then when they tried to dig out the foundations for a new garage the hole kept filling up with water).

We only ever named one lot. The fuckwits at number fourteen, which were a dreadful couple with a bunch of horrors they shoved out the door first thing in the morning till evening, sometimes later at night if they were having a party, to terrorise and vandalise the neighbourhood.

At our previous house, The Scumbags, because they were.

At current house, the Old Witch, because she is vile, so rude.

Hiya, always seems to be outside when we go in or out the house, only ever says that one word.
Parking Police, woman in the flats opposite who yells at anyone she doesn't recognise for parking in the street.
DD, name could potentially be Duncan or Donald, undetermined so both.
Taxi man, drives a taxi
Poodle man, walks a poodle

Morticia
The Chavs
The Jesus army

Used to live next to the S&M dweebs

They were really wet and a bit drab (that sounds very harsh I know) but we could hear them engaging in S&M. She used to call him 'master' 😂