Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just tell them to go fuck themselves

117 replies

ImperfectTents · 20/12/2021 17:10

So many threads about horrible partners, siblings, parents and friends.

Life Is too short. Full disclosure my relationship of 25 years has crashed to earth and after years of playing nice I’ve had enough. Believe me they should all go fuck themselves. ESP the paedo granddad and the man who gave his partner Covid and now is keeping her prisoner in the spare room.

For the love of god tell them to get to fuck

Thank you

OP posts:
Roundeartheratchriatmas · 20/12/2021 19:33

I am in all honesty probably a bit of a cow. Just not a cow people take advantage of.

Queenie6655 · 20/12/2021 19:33

@ImperfectTents

I know be great if it was
I know I wish I had

Had a flash back earlier to handing my bastard abuser 4 k days after he left me in hospital

Wish it was as easier as fck off and leave

I so wish that is what I did

TellMeItsPossible · 20/12/2021 19:34

Agree OP.

I've spent the last 2.5 years of my life culling all the narcs, flying monkeys and emotional vampires out of my life and I'm almost done. It's the best feeling in the world.

Decemberfinances · 20/12/2021 19:35

@RaisedByPangolins

I’m with you. So many of us put up with too much shit from people who are supposed to love us. But it’s the old boiled frog thing isn’t it. When the shitty behaviour ramps up gradually you don’t see it happening and it becomes normalised by increments. I’d love to see a lot more people - myself included - being strong enough to say no. YANBU
Yes. Even if you realise the behaviour is off, you don't realise how off it is - 'unacceptable' has become your norm.
Spicedgingerbreadlatte83 · 20/12/2021 19:36

Was it Phoebe who said “Oh I really wish I could.... but I don’t want to!”

Redannie118 · 20/12/2021 19:45

My narc mother who i finally had the guts to go very low contact with 6weeks ago today sent me a message( after 6 weeks of silence when i told her i wouldnt let her hurt me anymore) asking if i was ready to talk yet. Meaning i need to apologise and let her get back to using me as a housemaid, driver, personal shopper and DIY person while calling me names, telling me that im nothing important or special and screaming at me till i cry then laughing at me. FUCK THAT. Its taken me 49 long fucking years but she can fuck off to the far end of fuck, come back and then fuck of again. I will show my lilly white arse in M&S windowbefore i let that poisonous bitch hurt me again.
Merry fucking Christmas to all at Team Fuck off and those who are just behind the starting lineXmas GrinWineGinCakeXmas Smile

Dontgetyerknicksinatwist · 20/12/2021 19:45

I’ve done it. I’m not a confrontational person at all but they humiliated me one too many times. I put up with it for nearly 20 years. They couldn’t understand what they’d done wrong 🙄 of course they wouldn’t admit to it but they just thought I’d put up with another 20 years of it. I can’t tell you how liberating it feels. Life is too short

dubyalass · 20/12/2021 19:51

This year I’ve stood up to two people who I previously considered friends but who were hard work with some unpleasant characteristics. One I haven’t heard from since, the other has kept their distance. I haven’t missed either. It feels great. No longer walking on eggshells or being taken advantage of. I’ve even managed to get family to respect my boundaries a bit more, although I’m not sure they really get it. I come from a family of passive people pleasers and now the scales have fallen from my eyes, I find their behaviour really irritating. I suspect they think I’m a bit of a bully!

LowlandLucky · 20/12/2021 19:54

Best thing i ever done was to finally tell the abusive twat to get to fuck. I walked away from a job, a social life, a 4 bed home and a lifestyle some would envy and moved in to a tiny rental and it was bloody fantastic. I had scrimped, saved and hidden every penny i could get my hands on, it took me years of skimming money off the shopping, adding a few pounds here and there, sometimes it was only pennies but it all added up. I will treasure the day i left for the rest of my life.

NewYorkDiamond · 20/12/2021 20:05

@Moonface123

l agree, " Use your voice even if it shakes, " We owe it to the next generation of young women.
Just read this out to my 13yo DD, perfectly put.
Lovemusic33 · 20/12/2021 20:07

Op, I feel the same and often tell people to fuck off. I don’t have many friends, I don’t seem most of my family but my life is so much less stressful 🤣. Oh and I told my dh to fuck off 6 years ago and no longer put up with crap from men.

52andblue · 20/12/2021 20:10

I have been so very close to this twice today.
Sent my 'difficult' Mother a Christmas Gift (always tricky as shes complained about any gifts since i was about 10 I think). I sent a small framed pic of the grandkids, a box of very fancy sloe gin mince pies, a small bottle of sloe gin & some fancy tonics. I emailed to say: 'parcel on it's way' & got reply: 'yes, already here, will wait to open Xmas Day as no one else will visit me this year. Not sending cards out. Try to make Xmas nice for your kids if you can'. 2nd one: exH turned up at my house when he was supposed to be at kids school to collect them (like twice a year but I had an interview scheduled today). Neighbours had scaffolding put up earlier. Scaffolder told me to move my car as 'in his way'. I did, was pleasant, but asked him not to attach scaffolding to my house. As I stood speaking to exH I saw that a scaffolding bit has been drilled into the stone of my house (!). Kids came home slightly subdued. Apparantly exH had told them: 'careful, Mum is in a mood with some poor workman & she might just grump at you too'.

Can I join the FOTTFSOFAWYGTFOSM club ?

Opal8 · 20/12/2021 20:16

Yep!
Mil won't be seeing me this Xmas (or ever again ouf I have my way)

AffIt · 20/12/2021 20:18

@Roundeartheratchriatmas

I am in all honesty probably a bit of a cow. Just not a cow people take advantage of.
Me too, and very happy with it.

I stopped taking shit in my mid-30s (I'm 42 now) and jesus, I wish I had started YEARS before that. Never been happier.

I like the people I like, but tbh, I hate most people.

AliceAbsolum · 20/12/2021 20:27

Absolutely. I think people who put up with unacceptable behavior do so because they are not able to choose not too for a lot of different reasons. I'm just glad I've had a shit tonne of therapy to help me to have boundaries and keep myself safe. A luxury not all can access

Tinkywinkybag · 20/12/2021 20:28

I love this thread,can't lie x

Saharafordessert · 20/12/2021 20:34

Joining this empowering club too!
I told my business partner how controlling he was yesterday and that I was out…….here’s to a much better 2022!

yzed · 20/12/2021 20:39

Messages of Big Sympathy to half the posters here Flowers and Well Done to the other half Flowers

I think a lof of the reason it's so difficult, when it really shouldn't be and we all know it really shouldn't be, is because "no one" understands what "this space" really feels like. So many friends/colleagues/family condemn us for needing out. Because they've grown up in loving (non-abusive) families, and have good friends, they assume we're being overly demanding or something.
...
SO ...

yzed · 20/12/2021 20:41

SO . . .

EndoplasmicReticulum Mon 20-Dec-21 18:21:11
I think sometimes it's easier to tell other people's awful family / relatives to fuck off than it would be your own.

Perhaps we could do swaps?

What a brilliant idea. There's a film about this, except that the two people did each other's murder, not their "Fuck off to Fucksville".

But perhaps more realistically, maybe some people could pair up for support, to help each other through the fallout of joining the FOTF Club

SapphireSeptember · 20/12/2021 20:53

Need to do more of this, I'm a doormat when it comes to men I like. This year I've threatened the abusive one with the police if he ever contacted me again, blocked one who kept pestering me for sex, and dumped the one who was a conspiracy nutter and pothead. Now I need to get the one blowing hot and cold out of my head, because I feel like he either can't make up his mind, or he's using me, or both.

DrManhattan · 20/12/2021 20:59

Massive well done to everyone standing up for themselves and letting all the negativity go.
Keep up the good work xxxx

Dacquoise · 20/12/2021 21:06

My crossing the Rubicon moment was about six years ago. My mentally unstable, highly manipulative DM summoned me for a lunch out for my landmark birthday. Presented me with a cheque for £50 (same as usual), told me some woe is me stories (same as usual) and then stated that if I didn't step up and slip back into my scapegoat/doormat role that I had extradited myself from not to bother anymore. I told her I wouldn't be bothering.

She pulled out the full arsenal of character assassinations and gaslighting bullshit. I sat with a big grin on my face as the insults pinged straight over my head, ping, ping, ping. I calmly got up and left her with the bill.

I sincerely hope that each and every one of you who has ever been tormented by some disordered thinking fucker gets to your 'meh' just fuck off moment too ❤

Dacquoise · 20/12/2021 21:07

And I cashed the cheque.

snackodactyl · 20/12/2021 21:17

Fuck yes to this thread, thank you for starting it OP.

Shallwegoforawalk · 20/12/2021 21:18

Menopausal rage is fantastic for turning former people pleasers into fuck off fabulous funsters.

Speaking from experience here!