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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just tell them to go fuck themselves

117 replies

ImperfectTents · 20/12/2021 17:10

So many threads about horrible partners, siblings, parents and friends.

Life Is too short. Full disclosure my relationship of 25 years has crashed to earth and after years of playing nice I’ve had enough. Believe me they should all go fuck themselves. ESP the paedo granddad and the man who gave his partner Covid and now is keeping her prisoner in the spare room.

For the love of god tell them to get to fuck

Thank you

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 20/12/2021 18:42

I finally got the confidence to tell the most toxic person in my life what I think of them this year and oh my goodness the freedom I feel is bloody wonderful.

Original poster
ImperfectTents · 20/12/2021 18:44

@EndoplasmicReticulum

I think sometimes it's easier to tell other people's awful family / relatives to fuck off than it would be your own.

Perhaps we could do swaps?

I like this, there could be an app
OP posts:
JSL52 · 20/12/2021 18:44

@Moonface123

l agree, " Use your voice even if it shakes, " We owe it to the next generation of young women.
Brilliant
Original poster
ImperfectTents · 20/12/2021 18:44

@girlmom21

I finally got the confidence to tell the most toxic person in my life what I think of them this year and oh my goodness the freedom I feel is bloody wonderful.
See! Stay strong and enjoy your shit free life
OP posts:
Original poster
ImperfectTents · 20/12/2021 18:45

@RedCandyApple

I’ve just done it today. Finally, can’t take my useless family anymore.
Hope you are ok
OP posts:
FredWinnie · 20/12/2021 18:45

Love this thread and am totally team go fuck yourself if the fuckee is being an absolute nob

Original poster
ImperfectTents · 20/12/2021 18:46

I love you all

OP posts:
Shitsexsucks · 20/12/2021 18:58

All of my five sisters have been told to GTFOH.. Over various stages this year. And I'm the sort of person that once I'm done, I'm done. But prior to my Flip Mode, I'm a reusable doormat..

Am I lonely? Yes.

Do I deserve to be bullied and disrespected, like I have been all through life, by them? Nah!

StellaGibson118 · 20/12/2021 18:59

I cut my family off years ago and I've never been happier. Hardest thing I've ever done but absolutely worth it.

I fully understand the fear and control that keeps people in these relationships though and it's sad. A friend is going through it atm and I don't know how to get her out of it.

Scandisaurus · 20/12/2021 19:01

And the woman last week who got sent a list of what her friend wanted for her birthday, bought it and then did not even receive a card for her birthday this week. But too scared to question her cf friend. F* off! Seriously..

GirlOnPfizer · 20/12/2021 19:02

I went no-contact with my emotionally unavailable, selfish father at the age of 21. It took me until 46 to do the same with my mother who was superficially loving, but in all kinds of ways more toxic (they divorced when I was 15). I have never felt better!

NotAnotherAlias · 20/12/2021 19:02

100% with you on this. I can’t believe some of the deranged game playing, outright abuse and clear disrespect some people are willing to overlook.

Original poster
ImperfectTents · 20/12/2021 19:03

I am worried I will become power crazed and just start roaring in the street

OP posts:
RantyAunty · 20/12/2021 19:11

It needs to be a service
go fuck off
Add in cocklodger removalist
arsehole removalist

StarryNightSparkles · 20/12/2021 19:19

Totally agree with you op. I read these posts and think to my myself.....

Option one - tell them to fuck off and enjoy a more fabulous life.

Option two - block, delete and enjoy a more fabulous life.

I've done it myself and it's certainly anything but easy. But once you have done it.... life is so much better stress free.

Life is far to short to be stuck facilitating other people's shit....

Also op, you could bring out merchandise for your movement. T shirts with "just fuck off" on them.

PeterGriffinsPenisBeaker · 20/12/2021 19:21

I had my FO moments two years ago when I realised that my family didn't even like me after spending 39 years of trying my best for them.

It really pisses my mum off that I've got brilliant relationships with all of my children, who all in turn have lovely relationships with each other. She spent the whole of my life black-sheeping me and telling me what a failure I was alongside a whole host of nasty crap.

She hates the fact that I've done far too well for myself and I don't rely on her for bailing me out financially with her ample funds.

I could go on for years, but my parents have been the biggest disappointment of my life. I have not one single regret walking away, I just wish I did it sooner, not least for my children who she turned on too. My father is a bully, mother a narc.

Run and don't look back.

Bagelsandbrie · 20/12/2021 19:24

I agree with you and actually life is that simple - just tell them to fuck off. Life on your own if necessary. Start again if you have to. Better than putting up with shit and nonsense. I’m in my 40s and I wish I’d learnt to say no more when I was younger.

Gerwurtztraminer · 20/12/2021 19:27

I have to stop reading some threads, too sad, depressing or deeply frustrating and I either want to charge in and rescue the OP or shake them so hard to see sense - "WTF are you thinking of COURSE this isn't OK/YANBU".

In fact if you have to ask "is this abusive" then the answer is nearly always going to be yes isn't it.

Roundeartheratchriatmas · 20/12/2021 19:27

The things people put up with on here leave me gobsmacked. I hope some of them are made up tbh.

Genuinely I would never ever accept that kind of behaviour.

KissedintheDark · 20/12/2021 19:29

@Shitsexsucks

All of my five sisters have been told to GTFOH.. Over various stages this year. And I'm the sort of person that once I'm done, I'm done. But prior to my Flip Mode, I'm a reusable doormat..

Am I lonely? Yes.

Do I deserve to be bullied and disrespected, like I have been all through life, by them? Nah!

Yes! this is me too.
Bagelsandbrie · 20/12/2021 19:29

I think sometimes it’s the boiled frog syndrome isn’t it… where you gradually turn up the heat and people don’t realise how shit something truly is. I mean that’s what my abusive relationship was like - which I left at 22 with my 6 month old dd at the time (she’s now 19). We’d been together 5 years at that point and I dread to think of some of the posts I could have written on here has Mumsnet been around…. Cringe fest.

Roundeartheratchriatmas · 20/12/2021 19:29

Just one example. A few years ago one of my friends was really rude to me when we were shopping in town.

I was her lift home and yes I left her there. She apologised the next time we saw each other.

oiwiththepoodlesalready83 · 20/12/2021 19:30

I did it on Friday OP! Well not quite “go fuck yourself” but I was due to have my “D”M and stepdad over for Boxing Day. I’ve ordered a big spread from Sainsburys, new table wear, brought their favourite drinks and dessert, I’ve gone all out as we didn’t see them last year. I was chatting to my mum about the potential restrictions looming and said how I hope we can still see each other, my mum then said “I don’t really care if I don’t see you, I just don’t want to be the one who tells your nan she can’t come to ours for Christmas dinner” then something came over me, I’m usually the biggest people pleaser and avoid confrontation but I just said “don’t worry about coming over then, DH and I have gone to a lot of effort to make Boxing Day special and you don’t even care if you see us or not” and I ended the conversation. Like I said, not exactly the “go fuck yourself” but as the black sheep/ scapegoat of the family, I’ve finally realised that life is too short to waste your time and effort on people who won’t reciprocate. That includes family.

girlmom21 · 20/12/2021 19:31

@Roundeartheratchriatmas

Just one example. A few years ago one of my friends was really rude to me when we were shopping in town.

I was her lift home and yes I left her there. She apologised the next time we saw each other.

You are my hero Grin
PearlSlaghoople · 20/12/2021 19:31

I’m sooo late to this!! But now I’m part of the movement… Late 50s, but I won’t put up with silly nonsense anymore!!
More power to us!!💪