kids know what their bodies need to eat, better than their parents do- hmm

[me4real]

Someone said this on a binge eating forum I'm on.

'You knew how to eat intuitively when you were little. Binge eating has taken over intuitive eating. So you just need to remember what you already knew.'

I don't have kids but AIBU to think this unlikely? She said that kids will eat what their body needs of something, then stop. I think parents have to tell kids what to have or they'd eat just treats or something and not stop till they're obese.

She says her daughter will eat some ice cream (on holiday- which implies she's not allowed it the rest of the time maybe?) but never finish it. She pushed it away and said 'I had enough.' I wonder if her kid has picked up some anxieties about food or weight from her mum. (Unless she'd eaten loads beforehand maybe.)

I know every kid is different though, I suppose.

YABU- kids intuitively know what their body needs to eat and will eat only those things and stop when they should stop. We need to recapture that as adults.

YANBU- she's wrong, kids eat what they want to eat, unless they have food issues or something.

I'm not saying an intuitive eating style isn't potentially helpful for some people.

I'm just questioning the claim that kids eat intuitively and are the experts in how much of something they need, and we should be like them.

@Hoowhoowho I disagree with virtually everything you say there and it's not evidence-based. Portions can be based on NHS guidelines.

We know early malnutrition in children is linked to adult obesity. It may be why poverty and obesity go together.

The reasons people in lower socioeconomic groups have more obesity are multiple, but hardly anyone's malnourished in our society. Poorer people maybe have less time or energy to cook, and supposedly things like multipack deals on chocolate bars are involved.

It is possible to eat well on a tight budget- I'm starting to, I have a lot of tinned pulses, beans etc for instance and they aren't massively expensive. Of course it's cheaper than the amount of takeaways I used to have.

Read Susie Orbach's book on IE - 'on eating' but wasn't a fan.

I try and base what I eat on evidence-based guildelines in theory.

As with most things it’s more complicated than that. I grew up in a clear your plate house and struggle to waste food so will keep eating even when I know I’m full, also can eat a lot before I feel full. My kids have never been made to finish their plates, I do strongly encourage them to eat some veg every day but not things I know they dislike (mushrooms). They will leave cake, ice cream, take months to finish Easter eggs etc. Seem to have a natural ‘stop’ which I’m lacking! But they dont get pudding in the week, get mostly healthy food offered, and I don’t make a huge issue out of meal times (have friends who make every meal into a drama and it’s not helpful). If they’ve eaten protein, carbs and veg it’s good enough.

I would have been healthier as a child if I'd been allowed to find out and eat what I liked. However, my mother was very much of the 'No truck with faddy eaters' school and was a resentful, angry and generally shit cook, which meant every meal was soggy or dry, unseasoned, poor quality and included gluten and dairy at every meal. And every meal was shovel down as much as possible as quickly as possible before a) somebody bigger than you nicked it, b) she lost her temper and started hitting whoever was nearest and then get back to safety, as you weren't going to get anything else to eat.

It may be a coincidence that the things I disliked intensely/made me feel sick happened to be the things I have now been diagnosed with celiac disease and told to never have again - since a major exacerbation in the stomach and bowel issues I've had since infancy led to proper investigation instigated by my rheumatologist post covid infection.

There was much screaming and shouting that I clearly had an eating disorder and I was doing it to embarrass her even more than being a fat lump did when I started increasing the amount of veg and (looking back) non gluten containing grains by buying my own food with my Saturday job wages aged 15. Everything I tried to avoid eating - pastry, milk, bread, oats, biscuits, ice cream, fish (as that was only ever served battered), sausages (cheap and filled with breadcrumbs), pizza, pasta, for example - all turn out to be things that fall into the same category of things I've been told to avoid forever on medical advice.

However, there are children I know who would live on fresh air if they had the choice, children who would turn down a meal if they were starving at the slightest inkling that there might be a single chocolate button available if they said they weren't hungry and children who from babies were always, always hungry and would eat three dinners, two puddings and still want biscuits ten minutes later.

So no, not all children know instinctively what they need. Some might, but some only know what they want and desire.

That sounds so horrible @NeverDropYourMooncup . So glad you're not in that situation anymore.

I think kids do have a certain amount of natural intuition around food, but as a society we've messed with it by providing sugary drinks and fast food. Probably if children were presented with a smaller range of regular food without processed sweet stuff being available as an option, they would get a balence.

Nah. They do stop when full till about three, and if you give kids a range of healthy foods they will pick a good mix UNTIL you Chuck sugar and ultra processed in the mix, all bets are off - they mostly stop choosing well. I can’t remember the study but it was in Bee Wilson’s First Bite.

Junk food mucks up our food wiring (I guess a bit like porn and sex). If you are going to eat it you have to keep it limited and situational, and that goes for kids as well as adults.

Plus people who eat emotionally often start as kids, and that can start just in response to stress, rather than because someone is messing with their food signals.