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AIBU?

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Original poster

Kids v oh it's Covid related

100 replies

itsacovidthing · 19/12/2021 16:30

Bear with me. Long bloody saga.

Ex and kids got Covid last month. Nightmare but all good now

Yesterday as I'm handing over the kids he just says oh my girlfriends got Covid. Just waiting for her pcr.

Didn't really think about it till I got back. I'm supposed to going on holiday on Boxing Day. It's my much longer for escape costing a mini fortune.

OH who works in biotech is furious. Saying he shouldn't have taken the kids knowing ex has been in contact with Covid. Possibly omicron.

He thinks ex will have it or at least carry it. Transit it to the kids. So when I pick them up tomorrow I'll get it.

I'm having a pcr on Wednesday to travel.

Basically OH has said I can't see the kids before or for Christmas Day (as originally planned) in case I get it and then can't fly. So I won't see them now till I get back in January.

And then said if I do see them. He won't see me till the flight. And I get Covid he'll fuck off on holiday with out me.

I'm losing sight of everything. It's caused a massive row with my ex (usually very good terms amicable split and we work well together for the kids) and I feel like if OH went on our trip of a lifetime without me we'd be finished. I can't see us coming back from it (we've been arguing lately. This was meant to bring us together. We both need a break)

What is going on?! I'm at a loss as to what to do. I also had my booster yesterday so I'm sweaty and feeling like crap... I just want to cry.

OP posts:
Freddiefox · 19/12/2021 16:33

It’s done now, but I think it’s a bit risky to let the kids go to a covid house.

Yuledo · 19/12/2021 16:33

At the point ex said girlfriend has covid, you should have taken them home again. He should have told you in advance. He’s the one I’d be mad at.

I can’t really blame your partner tbh.

Original poster
itsacovidthing · 19/12/2021 16:34

Sorry ex and his girlfriend don't live together. Ex has spent the last three days with her but now going to take the kids home. The kids will not come into contact with her. It's just whether she has given my ex Covid. And therefore the kids getting it from her

OP posts:
Original poster
itsacovidthing · 19/12/2021 16:37

Oh and my ex keeps reiterating that the nhs told him he would have immunity after having Covid. Hence he won't catch it.

But my OH (working in biotech in vaccines...) says he's not immune to omicron.

I get it. I really do. But I'm getting shit from both sides and i just want to curl up.

OP posts:
FelicityBob · 19/12/2021 16:40

But ex and the kids had covid last month so very unlikely to be reinfected again so soon

girlmom21 · 19/12/2021 16:44

The kids don't have to isolate and if your ex is double jabbed neither does he.

No partner of mine would tell me I can't see my kid's regardless of what we had booked.

sirfredfredgeorge · 19/12/2021 16:46

It's caused a massive row with my ex

Your partner dictates that you must not see your kids and it's your Ex that you had a row with?

MichelleScarn · 19/12/2021 16:47

oh my girlfriends got Covid. Just waiting for her pcr.

Does she def have covid if still awaiting pcr?

lunar1 · 19/12/2021 16:49

Has anyone had a positive PCR yet?

Original poster
itsacovidthing · 19/12/2021 16:50

Yes. Ex's girlfriend has a positive pcr

I asked my ex to do a lateral flow which has come back negative

He can't do a pcr as it will be positive anyway as he has Covid so recently

OP posts:
IHateCoronavirus · 19/12/2021 16:51

Hope you feel better soon op Flowers

Ex should have warned you before dropping the kids of to him.

Your OH should have more respect for your bond as a mother than to suggest you dump your kids just in case they have covid, for the sake of his trip, selfish arse.

RedHelenB · 19/12/2021 16:51

@itsacovidthing

Sorry ex and his girlfriend don't live together. Ex has spent the last three days with her but now going to take the kids home. The kids will not come into contact with her. It's just whether she has given my ex Covid. And therefore the kids getting it from her
Thought your kids had spread had Covid a month ago in which case what s the panic?
Wrinklyeyes · 19/12/2021 16:54

What does your partner expect you to do with the kids over Christmas? Confused

Send them to your ex presumably? And then go away with him on a happy holiday after he has just said all this to you? That would be a no from me. I get he is disappointed (and probably incredibly frustrated that you left the DCs with your ex without thinking about the potential implications) but he is being totally unreasonable.

Toplowlight · 19/12/2021 16:57

Your OH sounds like a bullying dickhead

Original poster
itsacovidthing · 19/12/2021 17:02

Thanks @IHateCoronavirus I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself today. I have a fever. And all I've got it shitty messages from my ex and my OH

OP posts:
Original poster
itsacovidthing · 19/12/2021 17:03

@RedHelenB OH thinks neither ex my nor the kids will be immune. As it's the new omicron strain. I don't know enough to argue. As I said he works in biotech. It's his field. He's saying that and ex is saying nhs said he'd be immune.

OP posts:
Icebreaker99 · 19/12/2021 17:05

Well he doesn't sound like good step father material to forbid a mother from seeing her children on Christmas Day, but was this said in the heat of the moment and he needs time to reflect?

It's crap you are in this position but in all honesty if you've been arguing a lot and this was a make or break holiday I think if he sticks to his guns I would say the relationship is doomed, would you be able forgive him for potentially ruining your children's Christmas? Especially when they are completely blameless in this whole sorry situation.

Original poster
itsacovidthing · 19/12/2021 17:05

@Wrinklyeyes

What does your partner expect you to do with the kids over Christmas? Confused

Send them to your ex presumably? And then go away with him on a happy holiday after he has just said all this to you? That would be a no from me. I get he is disappointed (and probably incredibly frustrated that you left the DCs with your ex without thinking about the potential implications) but he is being totally unreasonable.

I think he thinks I just shouldn't see them at all. They stay with my ex. From now all the way through to jan

I just find it hard to think about not seeing them over Christmas. Or hand over their presents. I know they're excited about giving me their presents too. They're giddy about it all. They bloody love Christmas.

OP posts:
MadMadMadamMim · 19/12/2021 17:06

I don't think you've 'upgraded' your relationship to be frank. Your current partner sounds a deeply unpleasant twat.

And no one would tell me when I could see my children. I would be finishing with him whether we went on the holiday or not, to be honest.

girlmom21 · 19/12/2021 17:07

Make your own decision.
For me, I'd risk catching covid rather than avoid spending weeks without seeing my children, especially at Christmas, and especially as your ex has tested negative.

Your OH has no idea whether the girlfriend has Omnicron.

SummerHouse · 19/12/2021 17:07

Your partner is being horrible. None of this is your fault and he is punishing you for it. Take a deep breath and look after yourself.

Wrinklyeyes · 19/12/2021 17:09

It’s easy for me to say but I would be a) taking a test myself and b) ending the relationship with partner. He sounds horrible.

mingetout · 19/12/2021 17:09

Your partner is an arsehole to even think about trying to prevent you seeing your children over Christmas

PrivateHall · 19/12/2021 17:10

Sorry op but its a LTB from me. It sounds like he has just hammered the final nail into the coffin here. Your ex hasn't really done anything wrong, I am confused as to why you are arguing with him. Why would you stop him seeing his kids now, so close to Christmas, just to protect your holiday? I am sorry, but that isn't right. You know fine well the risk here is miniscule, even if she has omicron, the chance of him now developing it and passing it your kids is relatively small. Please tell me you are not seriously considering following your OHs orders and not seeing your DC?

Changechangychange · 19/12/2021 17:11

Your current partner is an arsehole, and I’d be sending him on holiday on his own regardless. What a horrible man he sounds.

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