Kids v oh it's Covid related

[itsacovidthing]

Bear with me. Long bloody saga.

Ex and kids got Covid last month. Nightmare but all good now

Yesterday as I'm handing over the kids he just says oh my girlfriends got Covid. Just waiting for her pcr.

Didn't really think about it till I got back. I'm supposed to going on holiday on Boxing Day. It's my much longer for escape costing a mini fortune.

OH who works in biotech is furious. Saying he shouldn't have taken the kids knowing ex has been in contact with Covid. Possibly omicron.

He thinks ex will have it or at least carry it. Transit it to the kids. So when I pick them up tomorrow I'll get it.

I'm having a pcr on Wednesday to travel.

Basically OH has said I can't see the kids before or for Christmas Day (as originally planned) in case I get it and then can't fly. So I won't see them now till I get back in January.

And then said if I do see them. He won't see me till the flight. And I get Covid he'll fuck off on holiday with out me.

I'm losing sight of everything. It's caused a massive row with my ex (usually very good terms amicable split and we work well together for the kids) and I feel like if OH went on our trip of a lifetime without me we'd be finished. I can't see us coming back from it (we've been arguing lately. This was meant to bring us together. We both need a break)

What is going on?! I'm at a loss as to what to do. I also had my booster yesterday so I'm sweaty and feeling like crap... I just want to cry.

So what happens if their LFTs on Xmas Eve are positive?

It would be a big no no if the kids hasn't had covid so recently but if they have then it's unlikely they'd be reinfected again so soon. Ex still should have told you so that you could calculate your own risk but it's wrong for your oh to be calling the shots when it comes to contact.

Fwiw I recently sent my ds to his dads when his stepmum had covid because he'd had it the week before. Still a risk with the different variants but it's a risk going to the supermarket at the moment.

[quote girlmom21]@itsacovidthing sorry. What I meant was that your ex doesn't have covid. Him not telling you his girlfriend has it doesn't matter because he can still socialise and have your children.

The way you wrote suggested if you'd have known you wouldn't have let the children go to him.

Will you still see your children at Xmas if your children or ex test positive? [/quote]
But it does matter. A positive in his household affects everyone. It was a throwaway comment.

If he hadn't mentioned it I would've taken the kids to see my elderly parents tomorrow.

But either way we're in a place where I thought we could just talk to each other. Give me the chance to weigh the risks. Ideally he would've left the kids with me for a few more days. Done more lateral flows to ensure he wasn't reinfected then pick up contact then. We're very loose with dates. We work around each other.

It works out roughly 50/50 in the end but it's not set in stone. If he's busy I take them. If I'm busy he takes them. It's very amicable. In the run up to his holiday I was doing more to make sure they got away. I just wanted the same consideration.

@WildImaginings

As others have said, your posts suggest that you were entertaining his suggestion even when you thought he meant not seeing your kids until the New Year. That's evidenced by the fact you made a post that didn't end with 'So I told him to fuck off'.

And for what it's worth, I do think your ex should have told you. I'd be extremely pissed off in your situation but why should your children miss out because your ex was a dick, your OH is a dick and you've got a holiday booked?

It was more of an update. I'm not really processing much at the moment. I am literally sweating buckets and considering eating some ice. I didn't react like this the first two times. I can't really think straight. If I'm honest I should be sleeping it off.

I disagree with what you're saying. I still don't think you get to decide whether the kids go to him or not if it was his time to have them but I don't know your set up so obviously have to go with you on that.

Will you still see your kids if someone else tests positive?

Absolutely would not be not seeing my kids for weeks, especially over Christmas but even if it wasn’t Christmas. What an arsehole to suggest that you do that!

But you already said XH girlfriend ISN'T in his household.

Which is it?

I think everyone comes out looking bad here. Your ex should have told you beforehand, you should have thought when he said it rather than let the kids go, and your OH of course shouldn't have told you you couldn't see your kids. Is that what he actually did, or did he say he thinks you shouldn't? There's a big difference.

If he's ordering you about that's obviously not good, but I am a step parent and if I was in his position I would be angry with you and your ex too.

Your ex should have prewarned you so you could have made an informed choice.

Current DP would not be dictating when and if I may see my kids. He can bog off and stay elsewhere if you want to see them.

I can't see him banning you from seeing your kids for the next few weeks is really going to make for a happy trip!

So what happens if the kids lateral flow is positive on Xmas Eve you won't see them for Christmas?

At the point he told you the girlfriend has covid you probably should have taken them back home if you are going on holiday.

"It was more of an update. I'm not really processing much at the moment. I am literally sweating buckets and considering eating some ice. I didn't react like this the first two times. I can't really think straight. If I'm honest I should be sleeping it off."

I think you should step away from here for a bit, take some paracetamol and try and park this until you're feeling a little better tomorrow. I also felt horrific after my booster so I do sympathise. Your posts likely aren't giving an accurate impression of yourself which is why you're getting some 'harsh' replies from posters, including me.

You've clarified (I think) that you're not considering going along with this ridiculous plan. I think you need to use tomorrow to think about your response to your OH and what this means going forward.

When he told you his gf had Covid, why let the children go there? He’s likely to catch it, as are they! It’s your own fault and a stupid risk!

Thsi thread is ridiculous. You have people berating op for bot taking them straight home and people berating op for considering it.

Op, your oh is a knob. Do you live together?

@happychristmasbum

But you already said XH girlfriend ISN'T in his household.

Which is it?

But they’ve been seeing each other so the risk is going to be pretty high isn’t it?

Your OH is a twat.

Your kids and ex have very recently had Covid. Even if they had Delta there's virtually no chance of them getting Omicron so soon after.

It's worry over nothing.

SoSickOfItNow no, the risk is tiny because ex had Covid only a month ago, as did the kids.

Your boyfriend sounds awful. Absolutely do not agree when or when not to see your kids at Christmas on his say so. And whether he works in biotech or not he won’t know the strain that your ex’s girlfriend has. If you get it then you should be able to claim on your insurance I think (make sure you’ve got some). Whatever will be will be, it’s really not worth ruining your kids’ Christmas either way.

Sorry OP, you sound so stressed and upset. I really feel for you. I had my booster yesterday and it's knocked me for six too, so I can sympathise.

I agree with your first post, your ex should have given you a heads up, especially as there are your elderly parents to consider here too.

Sad to say, with the news coming out today, it wouldn't surprise me if this was all a moot point in a couple of days anyway, as I get the awful feeling another total lockdown is on the cards.
(I bloody hope I'm wrong 😑)

I hope wake up tomorrow feeling much better and with a clearer head x

Can you bring your kids back now? It's all based on timing. If your ex doesn't have it, then bring your kids home now before he becomes contagious.

It has an incubation time so he'll be incubating the virus now if he has it, wouldn't he?

If he has negative LFT that means he's not shedding viral particles right now, when you start to shed viral partials that's when the LFT becomes positive. At least that's my understanding.

It's too late now.
You cannot avoid seeing your DC until the you return.
You took the risk along with their dad, you can't punish the DC.

You need a PCR! You have a new temperature and when if you think it’s from the jab you don’t know.

“Basically OH has said I can't see the kids before or for Christmas Day (as originally planned) in case I get it and then can't fly. So I won't see them now till I get back in January.” Noone would stop me from looking after my kids. I certainly wouldn’t be in a relationship with a man who would even suggest this.

Oh and my ex keeps reiterating that the nhs told him he would have immunity after having Covid. Hence he won't catch it.

Who in “the NHS”? Sounds like he made that up.

I’m with all the others who said you shouldn’t have left the kids with him.

Both men have been crap. Your ex was very inconsiderate and your DP is delusional if he thinks he can stop you seeing your kids at Xmas.

But.....if you're quick and get them back you may beat the incubation window. Your ex may not be contagious yet.

Your ex and your kids are not going to catch covid if they literally had it last month. The children are entitled to time with their father. Your partner is being a dick