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Original poster

Kids v oh it's Covid related

100 replies

itsacovidthing · 19/12/2021 16:30

Bear with me. Long bloody saga.

Ex and kids got Covid last month. Nightmare but all good now

Yesterday as I'm handing over the kids he just says oh my girlfriends got Covid. Just waiting for her pcr.

Didn't really think about it till I got back. I'm supposed to going on holiday on Boxing Day. It's my much longer for escape costing a mini fortune.

OH who works in biotech is furious. Saying he shouldn't have taken the kids knowing ex has been in contact with Covid. Possibly omicron.

He thinks ex will have it or at least carry it. Transit it to the kids. So when I pick them up tomorrow I'll get it.

I'm having a pcr on Wednesday to travel.

Basically OH has said I can't see the kids before or for Christmas Day (as originally planned) in case I get it and then can't fly. So I won't see them now till I get back in January.

And then said if I do see them. He won't see me till the flight. And I get Covid he'll fuck off on holiday with out me.

I'm losing sight of everything. It's caused a massive row with my ex (usually very good terms amicable split and we work well together for the kids) and I feel like if OH went on our trip of a lifetime without me we'd be finished. I can't see us coming back from it (we've been arguing lately. This was meant to bring us together. We both need a break)

What is going on?! I'm at a loss as to what to do. I also had my booster yesterday so I'm sweaty and feeling like crap... I just want to cry.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 19/12/2021 17:46

@Auntycorruption

If you have a fever you need a PCR anyway.

See what that brings back 🤷‍♀️

She had the booster yesterday. Thats why she's got a fever.
tangyandsalty · 19/12/2021 17:46

[quote itsacovidthing]@RedHelenB OH thinks neither ex my nor the kids will be immune. As it's the new omicron strain. I don't know enough to argue. As I said he works in biotech. It's his field. He's saying that and ex is saying nhs said he'd be immune. [/quote]
It's been said many times by experts that prior infection does give some protection against omicron, especially if recent.

Just10moreminutesplease · 19/12/2021 17:48

FFS they are your children. Your responsibility to them far outweighs your responsibility to your partner. It doesn’t matter what your partner says, of course you can’t just not see them over Christmas as a precaution Hmm.

The fact that he told you not to see them would be the end of the relationship for me.

Takemedown · 19/12/2021 17:51

Your partner has got a point. Your ex has essentially fucked you all over by taking the children knowing he had been in contact with covid. The only way to be sure you can now go away for your break is to not come into contact with covid. Which by now your kids could be carrying. Not saying that's what i would do, i would see my children. But your ex is the shit one here.

BogRollBOGOF · 19/12/2021 17:51

As the children aren't directly exposed to the girlfriend and they and the Ex have all recently had Covid, their chances of getting infected and preventing the holiday goes down significantly.

The OH is being a complete jerk if he expects you not to see your children for weeks including over Christmas.

IgneousRock · 19/12/2021 17:56

I think your ex is wrong about the immunity thing. The recent infection gives him (and the DC) some immunity but they are not completely immune.

Therefore, assuming he knew about your holidays plans, I think your ex was inconsiderate not to warn you about this as soon as he knew and you were foolish to hand the kids over after he'd told you. I can understand your OH feeling frustrated about that, although he hasn't handled it well (understatement).

I think you should see your kids for Christmas as planned and see what happens next. If you test positive can you claim on your travel insurance?

LethargicActress · 19/12/2021 17:57

The ex has done nothing wrong here!

He hasn’t even got confirmation that his girlfriend is positive yet,so he couldn’t go back in time and not see her. Nor should he use the fact that his girlfriend did a PCR as a reason not to see his children. Presumably he wants to see them and they want to see him, and considering they have all just got over covid there is next to no risk to them, even with a new, apparently mild strain.

I can’t believe anyone thinks that these children and their father should have their contact stopped for the sake of OP and her boyfriends holiday Confused

Original poster
itsacovidthing · 19/12/2021 17:59

@VaguelyInteresting

Hang on, YOU also have a fever?

Get yourself a PCR test and this may all become moot anyway.

But regardless your OH sounds like a cunt. NOBODY would dictate to me when I could see my children, covid, holiday, hell or high water.

I have a fever because I had my booster yesterday
OP posts:
ChristmasFluff · 19/12/2021 17:59

Your crappy biotech partner should know that acquired immunity is better than vaccine immunity and so if a booster designed to protect from delta is good to protect from omicron, then so is infection.

Even my psychopath ex knew better than to try to get between me and my kid. Your crappy OH really thinks he's got you under the thumb. I really hope you don't prove him right.

Original poster
itsacovidthing · 19/12/2021 18:01

@LethargicActress

The ex has done nothing wrong here!

He hasn’t even got confirmation that his girlfriend is positive yet,so he couldn’t go back in time and not see her. Nor should he use the fact that his girlfriend did a PCR as a reason not to see his children. Presumably he wants to see them and they want to see him, and considering they have all just got over covid there is next to no risk to them, even with a new, apparently mild strain.

I can’t believe anyone thinks that these children and their father should have their contact stopped for the sake of OP and her boyfriends holiday Confused

She has had a positive pcr. So she has Covid.

They did a lateral flow on Friday. The day before we handed over the kids. She came up as positive on that. So he had a whole day to tell me she was at least going for a pcr and there was a chance she had it

OP posts:
Original poster
itsacovidthing · 19/12/2021 18:04

Thanks for all the replies. Sorry just reading (and sweating it out)

Had another chat with OH

He has clarified. Which is somewhat better than don't see your kids for Xmas.

He thinks I should hold off seeing them till Xmas Eve. Have the pcr for travel. So that's clear. Give ex and kids a lateral flow before Xmas Eve. And if that's all clear I can see them as planned Xmas Eve and Xmas day

I'm a bit exhausted. So apologies for not replying to everyone. I totally get it. I'm never going to prioritise any man over my kids. They are 6 and 10. Still at believing in Father Christmas territory.

I'm just feeling really shitty today. It's not helped. If I was not woozy and sweaty this would be a lot easier...

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 19/12/2021 18:06

How do you feel about not seeing them if they test positive?

Original poster
itsacovidthing · 19/12/2021 18:07

@LethargicActress

The ex has done nothing wrong here!

He hasn’t even got confirmation that his girlfriend is positive yet,so he couldn’t go back in time and not see her. Nor should he use the fact that his girlfriend did a PCR as a reason not to see his children. Presumably he wants to see them and they want to see him, and considering they have all just got over covid there is next to no risk to them, even with a new, apparently mild strain.

I can’t believe anyone thinks that these children and their father should have their contact stopped for the sake of OP and her boyfriends holiday Confused

It was more the fact he didn't tell me she had tested positive on an antigen test before I had strapped the kids in the car. They knew 24 hours previously. I would have appreciated a heads up. They're potentially bringing Covid into contact with my kids.

He mentioned it almost as an afterthought. Just making conversation as I handed the kids over. It has ramifications and I'm frustrated he didn't give me at least the option of deciding what to do.

OP posts:
WildImaginings · 19/12/2021 18:09

And if they do have covid you 'can't' see your children, who are 6 and 10 years old, for Christmas?

So you'll be putting your partner and a holiday over your kids. Nice.

girlmom21 · 19/12/2021 18:10

It has ramifications and I'm frustrated he didn't give me at least the option of deciding what to do.

It's not your choice to make.
It only has ramifications for you. You don't get to stop contact because of that.

Original poster
itsacovidthing · 19/12/2021 18:11

@WildImaginings

And if they do have covid you 'can't' see your children, who are 6 and 10 years old, for Christmas?

So you'll be putting your partner and a holiday over your kids. Nice.

Er no. I'm just saying what he suggests now

Nice yourself

OP posts:
Original poster
itsacovidthing · 19/12/2021 18:12

@girlmom21

It has ramifications and I'm frustrated he didn't give me at least the option of deciding what to do.

It's not your choice to make.
It only has ramifications for you. You don't get to stop contact because of that.

When he had Covid and the kids didn't I took them in for an extended period. I also looked after them to make sure he could get away on his holiday when we weren't sure if his girlfriend had Covid then.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 19/12/2021 18:15

@itsacovidthing that's great that you've helped him out but you still don't get to stop his contact because it benefits you if it's not a mutual agreement- and he clearly still wanted his contact time.

What happens if the kids test positive? Or if the ex does and the kids don't? Does your OH take priority or do your kids?

happychristmasbum · 19/12/2021 18:17

OP how do you feel about the way your DP thinks he can dictate when you see your children and what will happen in each eventuality?

You said you have been arguing a lot recently anyway, and this trip was intended to put some kind of sticking plaster on that?

I am shocked you would even entertain going on holiday with him now.

Original poster
itsacovidthing · 19/12/2021 18:18

[quote girlmom21]@itsacovidthing that's great that you've helped him out but you still don't get to stop his contact because it benefits you if it's not a mutual agreement- and he clearly still wanted his contact time.

What happens if the kids test positive? Or if the ex does and the kids don't? Does your OH take priority or do your kids? [/quote]
Stop his contact? I'm not stopping his contact ever.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 19/12/2021 18:18

@itsacovidthing so it doesn't matter that he didn't tell you, surely?

Original poster
itsacovidthing · 19/12/2021 18:20

[quote girlmom21]@itsacovidthing so it doesn't matter that he didn't tell you, surely? [/quote]
You mean stop the kids seeing ME not him?

You've lost me.

OP posts:
cansu · 19/12/2021 18:21

Your ex didn't want to miss out on seeing kids so he didn't tell you. That is pretty shitty of him if he knew you were going on holiday. Having said that your oh is nasty to have a go at you about it.

girlmom21 · 19/12/2021 18:23

@itsacovidthing sorry. What I meant was that your ex doesn't have covid. Him not telling you his girlfriend has it doesn't matter because he can still socialise and have your children.

The way you wrote suggested if you'd have known you wouldn't have let the children go to him.

Will you still see your children at Xmas if your children or ex test positive?

WildImaginings · 19/12/2021 18:24

As others have said, your posts suggest that you were entertaining his suggestion even when you thought he meant not seeing your kids until the New Year. That's evidenced by the fact you made a post that didn't end with 'So I told him to fuck off'.

And for what it's worth, I do think your ex should have told you. I'd be extremely pissed off in your situation but why should your children miss out because your ex was a dick, your OH is a dick and you've got a holiday booked?