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Original poster

Kids v oh it's Covid related

100 replies

itsacovidthing · 19/12/2021 16:30

Bear with me. Long bloody saga.

Ex and kids got Covid last month. Nightmare but all good now

Yesterday as I'm handing over the kids he just says oh my girlfriends got Covid. Just waiting for her pcr.

Didn't really think about it till I got back. I'm supposed to going on holiday on Boxing Day. It's my much longer for escape costing a mini fortune.

OH who works in biotech is furious. Saying he shouldn't have taken the kids knowing ex has been in contact with Covid. Possibly omicron.

He thinks ex will have it or at least carry it. Transit it to the kids. So when I pick them up tomorrow I'll get it.

I'm having a pcr on Wednesday to travel.

Basically OH has said I can't see the kids before or for Christmas Day (as originally planned) in case I get it and then can't fly. So I won't see them now till I get back in January.

And then said if I do see them. He won't see me till the flight. And I get Covid he'll fuck off on holiday with out me.

I'm losing sight of everything. It's caused a massive row with my ex (usually very good terms amicable split and we work well together for the kids) and I feel like if OH went on our trip of a lifetime without me we'd be finished. I can't see us coming back from it (we've been arguing lately. This was meant to bring us together. We both need a break)

What is going on?! I'm at a loss as to what to do. I also had my booster yesterday so I'm sweaty and feeling like crap... I just want to cry.

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 19/12/2021 17:12

I would be telling him to fuck right off. He can't possibly know what strain of covid it is and there is every chance your x and dc are going to be immune given how recently they had covid.

Peakedtoosoon · 19/12/2021 17:14

This is your partner's problem, not your ex's

As a parent you don't get to abandon your children over Christmas because it might jeopardise a holiday.

Goawayangryman · 19/12/2021 17:14

Your partner sounds horrible. Get rid of him and maintain a good relationship with your ex for your kids' sake.

A holiday is nothing. Nothing. Not seeing your kids over Christmas would be a shitty thing to do and no decent man would ever suggest that.

Wannakisstheteacher · 19/12/2021 17:16

Your partner is a wanker. And something has gone very wrong if you are willing not to see your children until January to appease him.

LannieDuck · 19/12/2021 17:17

OK, well you see the kids on xmas day because they're your kids and it's xmas. You have to PCR before the holiday anyway, so if you're negative you go on the holiday, if you're positive you don't.

Either way, I would rethink your relationship.

Skeumorph · 19/12/2021 17:17

Not surprised that it seems you need a holiday to ‘bring you together’ with your bullying shitty twat of a partner. I’d certainly need some big holidays to blind me to the fact that any man who told me I couldn’t see my kids over Xmas - ordered me to put him and his holiday before MY CHILDREN AT CHRISTMAS - was an absolute A-grade wanker.

You haven’t been getting on? Whoa I’m astonished.

This isn’t really your ex’s fault. He will have been thinking ‘it’s ok we’ve all had it’. It’s understandable. It’s not fab as ideally he WOULD be thinking permanent high alert and would have told you! But he doesn’t sound like a demon and you say you usually get on well? Don’t wreck it over this.

Dump your TOTAL ARSEHOLE of an OH who you already don’t actually get on with anyway.

Talk to ex.

Have nice Christmas with kids knowing they’ll now never have to endure a stepdad who once wanted their mum to not see them all over Christmas.

Merryoldgoat · 19/12/2021 17:19

Anyone who sponsors like that about my children would be an ex.

He’s an absolute arsehole I’d have him gone for good.

Peakedtoosoon · 19/12/2021 17:20

You appear to have agree not to see you kids until 2 Jan?!

A relationship with a man who would ask/expect that of you isn't worth saving.

FabriqueBelgique · 19/12/2021 17:21

There’s a lot of tension in the air OP, the stress is getting to everyone. It sucks being caught in the middle too.

There aren’t any right answers here. All I know is my own values - it would be against my own values to let a man tell me when I can and can’t see my kids, so I would ignore what he said about that for a start! And I value mutual respect and consideration so I would be watching to see if DP really would swan off on holiday without a thought for my feelings Hmm. That would be a deal-breaker for me.

Chely · 19/12/2021 17:25

Tel OH to grow the fuck up, pissy little bitch behaviour

Goawayangryman · 19/12/2021 17:29

@Chely: succinct. Accurate

FabricedeSauveterre · 19/12/2021 17:31

How old are the kids? If they are anything less than older teens your OH is being a massive dick. Yes maybe Ex should have warned but he hasn’t so that’s that, you have to see your kids in Xmas day?

Luredbyapomegranate · 19/12/2021 17:32

Get a good nights sleep and clear your head of these two annoying men.

In the morning ask yourself - Is your partner generally a good guy and just exhausted, irrational and in desperate need of a holiday? Do you want to continue the relationship with him - IE is the holiday a priority? Assuming the answer to both questions is yes, then I would sit him down tomorrow, point out that your ex’s inconsiderate behaviour is not your fault and this is a joint problem you need to solve.

If the kids came back to you and you tested positive, do you have insurance that would allow you to delay the holiday for a few weeks, and could you both swing that with work? This is the most obvious solution.

If that’s not possible, could the kids stay with your ex, but you go over on Christmas Day so you all open presents over hot chocolate in the garden, and then go for a nice walk - then leave them for lunch, and some other day you meet them for a BBQ outside. As long as everyone is cheery the kids would probably be fine with this?

It seems like either of these things can save the day without the ridiculous extreme of not seeing the kids at all, or jeopardising your relationship.

Your ex has been an A grade pillock. It doesn’t matter what the NHS told him, recent infection isn’t 100% with different strains as any fool knows - he should not have jeopardised your holiday. Equally you should have been switched on enough to realise not to leave the kids with him. And equally your partner needs to not act like an adolescent mega dick when faced with life’s arrows. But everyone makes mistakes.

All this assumes your partner isn’t normally a childish dickhead, obvs. But assuming he isn’t, it’s not in your kid’s interest that you have a relationship breakdown, so the holiday may well be crucial.

bofski14 · 19/12/2021 17:32

If any partner of mine told me I couldn't see my children on Christmas, they can get to fuck. Bin him off. What a wanker.

Your ex did the right thing by telling you during handover (would have been better if he had told you beforehand if possible) but you made the choice to handover the children to the risk. I hope they are fine and you have a great Christmas with them.

LethargicActress · 19/12/2021 17:35

Your partner wants your children not to see their father or to not see you over Christmas for the sake of his holiday??

The man is a prick, pack his bags for him and prioritise your children.

Stiffcondomhat · 19/12/2021 17:38

Make or break holidays rarely improve a rocky relationship. Factor in that your partner appears to be an absolute prick and its not looking good.

See your kids for Xmas, in all likelihood your pcr will be negative, then go on hols on your own.

RagzReturnedUnwrapped · 19/12/2021 17:38

@itsacovidthing

Sorry ex and his girlfriend don't live together. Ex has spent the last three days with her but now going to take the kids home. The kids will not come into contact with her. It's just whether she has given my ex Covid. And therefore the kids getting it from her
That's so convoluted, we're all only a few contacts away from a case right now, I think your OH is being OTT.
VaguelyInteresting · 19/12/2021 17:39

Hang on, YOU also have a fever?

Get yourself a PCR test and this may all become moot anyway.

But regardless your OH sounds like a cunt. NOBODY would dictate to me when I could see my children, covid, holiday, hell or high water.

RagzReturnedUnwrapped · 19/12/2021 17:39

@LethargicActress

Your partner wants your children not to see their father or to not see you over Christmas for the sake of his holiday??

The man is a prick, pack his bags for him and prioritise your children.

Also, this.
BitterTits · 19/12/2021 17:39

Your kids are just as likely to have picked it up in school this week. Your OH is a prick.

WhatToDo1988 · 19/12/2021 17:41

Let a day or so pass and get your head together. Leaving them with ex was incredibly stupid and if I was your OH I'd be annoyed as well. If you know you have travel plans, you need to act accordingly. Why should he miss out on the trip of a lifetime? Equally, he sounds very black and white and a bit of a bully. You're way too passive in all this. Your ex has actually done nothing wrong. You're the one who has travel plans and should be a lot more alert to this issue.

happychristmasbum · 19/12/2021 17:42

If my partner told me I couldn't see my children until January, he would told to Fuck Off Immediately and don't come back.

Who does he think he is?

Has XH DP been told she has Omicron? It's just as likely to be Delta.

What sort of person expects their partner to ditch their children over Christmas so they can go on holiday - especially if they are ill!!

Does he have form for being a total knobhead?

girlmom21 · 19/12/2021 17:43

@WhatToDo1988

Let a day or so pass and get your head together. Leaving them with ex was incredibly stupid and if I was your OH I'd be annoyed as well. If you know you have travel plans, you need to act accordingly. Why should he miss out on the trip of a lifetime? Equally, he sounds very black and white and a bit of a bully. You're way too passive in all this. Your ex has actually done nothing wrong. You're the one who has travel plans and should be a lot more alert to this issue.
OP has no right to cancel contact because she has travel plans. She can't choose not to leave the kids with him just because his girlfriend - who he doesn't live with - has covid. The kids aren't being exposed to covid.
andweallsingalong · 19/12/2021 17:43

I would be unhappy that your ex didn't tell you about his girlfriend so you could decide whether to send the kids or not. In the circumstances I probably wouldn't have.

However I'd be more pissed off with a boyfriend who thought it was acceptable to ever suggest not seeing my kids at Christmas.

As for the holiday, not sure when you're going, but aren't you worried about getting stuck over there if you become positive?

Auntycorruption · 19/12/2021 17:45

If you have a fever you need a PCR anyway.

See what that brings back 🤷‍♀️

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