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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want DH to take kids out?

83 replies

Woodenblocksandplastictat · 18/12/2021 15:53

I’m a teacher. I want to prepare for online learning if it happens, and I asked him if he’d take our under 2s out for the day.

I’m wondering if I’m being unreasonable, or would your DH be happy to do this?

OP posts:
Londonlivingg · 18/12/2021 15:56

I mean we obviously need more information. Did you give him any notice? Does he have things he needs to do around the house? Does he already have plans?

Obviously in principle it's not unreasonable to ask him to look after his kids

Original poster
Woodenblocksandplastictat · 18/12/2021 15:57

No plans. I quite agree it wouldn’t be reasonable at all to ask for this if he had plans. I asked on Wednesday or Thursday, can’t remember which.

OP posts:
bubblebath62636 · 18/12/2021 15:58

Don't ask him, tell him.

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 18/12/2021 16:00

It's the first day of the holidays after a really hard term, you should have spent the day as a family and then planned a day next week when he can take them out for a few hours or he can do bedtime and you can do it in the evening.

We were in lockdown last Jan do you not have bits you can tweak for the first weeks back or are you teaching something completely different?

Becles · 18/12/2021 16:01

If he won't go out, could you takelaptop, resources, headphones and go squat in a pub or local cafe?

SophieHatterPendragon · 18/12/2021 16:02

In theory no if you’ve give. Him some notice to organise something to do.
My only issue would be next week is the run up to Xmas and lots of toddler groups are shit a stern time only or anything that’s open needs booking in advance so might struggle to entertain under 2s all day without planning. I know I would!

WimpoleHat · 18/12/2021 16:02

I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all to ask him to look after them for the day. But taking them out all day is a much bigger ask; it’s cold, most things have to be booked, there’s faffing with masks etc. You don’t say how many under 2s you have either! Can he not amuse them at home while you get some work done? A Christmas film, or some crafts or something?

Original poster
Woodenblocksandplastictat · 18/12/2021 16:03

it’s the first day of the holidays after a really hard term

No it isn’t. I’m in next week.

you should have spent the day as a family

Why?

and then planned a day when he can take them out for a few hours

We don’t have one

or he can do bedtime and you can do it in the evening

There is absolutely no way I can do six weeks of planning in a couple of hours with crying and fussing children.

we were in lockdown last jan

I’m aware

do you not have bits you can tweak

No. I was on maternity leave.

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 18/12/2021 16:04

Take them where?

Two under twos, outside, bad weather? Unreasonable.

Two under twos to soft play? Broadly fine.

And depends on the children as well.

Original poster
Woodenblocksandplastictat · 18/12/2021 16:04

No, too little for crafts and films. I’d asked for him to take them to his parents for a couple of hours. That combined with travelling time would have given me around four / five hours.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 18/12/2021 16:04

@bubblebath62636

Don't ask him, tell him.
Wow.
Merryoldgoat · 18/12/2021 16:06

In this scenario I would prefer to go to a coffee shop and leave them home tbh.

Merryoldgoat · 18/12/2021 16:07

@Woodenblocksandplastictat

No, too little for crafts and films. I’d asked for him to take them to his parents for a couple of hours. That combined with travelling time would have given me around four / five hours.
If his parents are good with this then it’s an ideal solution and I can see no reason why he should be against it if his parents aren’t.
BurntO · 18/12/2021 16:08

It’s their home, not an office. YABU

Original poster
Woodenblocksandplastictat · 18/12/2021 16:08

Why?

I mean fair enough if that works for you but why would it be better or easier for me to have to pack up my laptop, all my books and revision guides and so on for seven year groups and sit in a coffee shop for most of the afternoon?

Fair enough if I’m constantly asking but I have never asked before!

OP posts:
PumpkinPie2016 · 18/12/2021 16:09

I think if he has somewhere indoors to go and is able (ie not at work etc) then it's not unreasonable to ask him to take them for a few hours.

However, as a secondary teacher myself (not sure what stage you teach) who taught remotely last term, I would caution against giving up so much time for planning something that may not happen.
We had cameras and those digital pads that you write on and it appears on screen. There was tweaking to do (I teach science so practicals obviously weren't possible) but honestly, it was fine.

dementedpixie · 18/12/2021 16:10

@HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime

It's the first day of the holidays after a really hard term, you should have spent the day as a family and then planned a day next week when he can take them out for a few hours or he can do bedtime and you can do it in the evening.

We were in lockdown last Jan do you not have bits you can tweak for the first weeks back or are you teaching something completely different?

It's not the holidays everywhere My kids are at school until Wednesday
Bakingwithmyboys · 18/12/2021 16:10

It's what I'm going to have to do.

Our school haven't mentioned online learning yet I just need to do my basic planning for next term. I absolutely don't want to work in the evenings as that doesn't feel like a holiday to me. I'd rather work a day or 2 to get it done. DH has taken the full two weeks off so I've just said he will need to have DS1 and 2 (3 yrs and 7 yrs). He's done it before no problem.

No way you can work with a little one around and your DH should be perfectly capable.

Irrespective of when your back it shouldn't have to be a family day today at all as it could mean the rest of the holidays are work free.

Indecisivelurcher · 18/12/2021 16:10

I think you should be able to ask this. Unfortunately my reality was my husband wouldn't have been confident /willing. I don't think he took them out on his own at that age. I don't think it should be that way though.

Merryoldgoat · 18/12/2021 16:11

Because my children were easiest when at home and easier to look after, especially under two. They have their food, beds, toys, TV etc.

If there’s nowhere you can go in the house to have space then I would prefer to go out myself.

As I’d prefer to stay home if the situation was reversed.

shouldistop · 18/12/2021 16:13

Of course yanbu. I can't believe people are saying you are

Luredbyapomegranate · 18/12/2021 16:16

@Merryoldgoat

In this scenario I would prefer to go to a coffee shop and leave them home tbh.
Yep this. Far better plan.
southlondoner02 · 18/12/2021 16:18

YANBU, especially if he can take them to his parents. DP often did this when I was studying so I could get some work done on a essay. Would usually go to a museum, soft play, friends house etc. Appreciate those might be a bit more difficult with current Covid issues, but a trip to see family sounds ideal

SweetsAndChocolates · 18/12/2021 16:20

@Woodenblocksandplastictat YANBU, at all! If it meant kids going to grandparents for a few hours, that's great. It's not like your dh was going to have to work out where to go, what to do? Think that sounds like a win win for all.

I can't imagine the stress teachers have to face (not saying other professionals don't), but with the possibility of remote learning again, if I was a teacher I'd want to get going with planning etc.

Smile
Original poster
Woodenblocksandplastictat · 18/12/2021 16:23

The problem is it will now hang over me for the holidays which is a pain, and we are supposed to be going away. Although whether we will or not is anybody's guess!

OP posts:
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