Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nursery Christmas cards..

96 replies

wayoverthebridge · 16/12/2021 17:09

Evening,

There are 40 children in my daughters nursery and I have spent time writing out cards for each of them as the teacher gave us a list of names.

Went to pick up my daughter from nursery and all the children came out with lots of cards, over 20 Atleast. One little child was like "mummy I have 40 cards!"

My daughter comes out with 3.The first one is one I written myself included with the other ones I wrote. The second is from the teacher.

I know she hasn't got many friends in nursery but they are fucking 3, the parents are the ones writing them.

I'm actually fuming, would I be unreasonable to actually pull up parents tomorrow? Like literally all of them.

I'm currently drinking wine, eating cheese and writing 40 cards out to my child.

OP posts:
Thesechipsdontlie · 16/12/2021 17:14

Aw sorry op! Our nursery banned cards! Heaven!

Muststopeating · 16/12/2021 17:15

I don't have an answer for you. But I'm really sorry. That is shit! I hope you'll be sending those cards via the nursery to make the point!

We only have 9 kids in our nursery but of course I made sure to write one to everyone. My DD did come home with a card to the nursery class the other day when others had at least 1 card and I wonder if her teachers were appeasing her because she'd been missed.

Doesn't matter whether they have 'friends'. At nursery they are all 'friends'. Either write cards to the whole class or don't bother. Either option is fine, but anything in between is just cruel!

SituationCritical · 16/12/2021 17:15

Before you fly off the handle are you absolutely sure your child is on the list and that she hasn't left the cards at nursery (as in they have been put in the wrong drawer/given to another child by accident etc). Different age and situation obviously, but at primary we were finding cards in March/April tucked away in the back of drawers, book bags and stuck down the back of coat racks! It sounds odd that she would be left off so many lists having given that you have written out 40 cards.

ikeepseeingit · 16/12/2021 17:16

I think what you did was kind, but don't get too worked up over it OP. I wouldn't expect cards for my daughter from other nursery parents. Do you think she's left out otherwise? Did she notice having fewer cards?

CoastalWave · 16/12/2021 17:16

God please do not pull up the parents tomorrow, you'll be a laughing stock!

Just don't bother doing cards next year.

Starcaller · 16/12/2021 17:16

I haven't even thought about sending cards to DD's nursery friends tbh. She is 3 in Feb. As far as I'm aware, she hasn't received any either! So not sure I would care, but I also wouldn't be writing 40 cards to children I don't know in the first place.

Why are you writing out 40 more cards? She's 3, just be excited for her to share the cards she did get and don't stress about it. Not everything is a competition and not everyone has to have the same stuff as someone else.

20viona · 16/12/2021 17:18

It wouldn't cross my mind to do cards to nursery kids. In fact I have written one card this year and that's to the actual nursery and I'm sure they don't care anyway 😂

MissyB1 · 16/12/2021 17:19

Sorry Op, some parents are hopeless at this stuff. For what it’s worth I’m a nursery school teacher, today we broke up for Christmas holidays. I received one Christmas card, one parent kindly gave me a card and present. I don’t need presents, but it would have been nice to have a got a few cards, most parents didn’t even wish me a merry Christmas.

EezyOozy · 16/12/2021 17:21

It doesn't make sense that one child had 40 and your child only had three, well only one genuine one really. Are you sure her name is on this list? Or does she have the same name as somebody else and there's been a mixup?

shouldistop · 16/12/2021 17:23

@hassletassle

It doesn't make sense that one child had 40 and your child only had three, well only one genuine one really. Are you sure her name is on this list? Or does she have the same name as somebody else and there's been a mixup?
This
CharlotteGoldenblattYork · 16/12/2021 17:24

Christmas cards at nursery is insane!

Pegasussnail · 16/12/2021 17:25

Don't say anything but it's a lesson not to bother (you sound very kind)
Maybe they might come home tomorrow??

wayoverthebridge · 16/12/2021 17:25

@CoastalWave

God please do not pull up the parents tomorrow, you'll be a laughing stock!

Just don't bother doing cards next year.

Yes, I think it's the wine talking.

I've just been daydreaming of me vs the mums

Yep I won't be doing that!

OP posts:
wayoverthebridge · 16/12/2021 17:26

@hassletassle

It doesn't make sense that one child had 40 and your child only had three, well only one genuine one really. Are you sure her name is on this list? Or does she have the same name as somebody else and there's been a mixup?
Her name is definitely on the list and no other girls with same name.

I know it's very strange!

OP posts:
XelaM · 16/12/2021 17:26

Yes I would! And the nursery should not be allowing such a disproportionate number of cards between kids who are only 3!

wayoverthebridge · 16/12/2021 17:27

@XelaM

Yes I would! And the nursery should not be allowing such a disproportionate number of cards between kids who are only 3!
Exactly what my father said! My daughter has asked me why her friends have more than her when she gave everybody a card..
OP posts:
LethargicActress · 16/12/2021 17:29

Are you kidding?

I’ll bet the kid that came out with a ridiculous number of cards is the one whose parent got the list of names and started writing cards in November. She’s got loads because she already sent to everyone, and plenty of parents will only bother writing cards back to the ones they received from.

Fispi · 16/12/2021 17:30

I wrote a card for the nursery staff, but I'm not writing cards for my 3 year old. I wouldn't get upset about it, they only end up in the recycling and at 3 they're happy opening the ones that come in the post.

MrsLeclerc · 16/12/2021 17:31

I was given a list of the 10 children in DS’ class and did a card for each. The cards were all posted in a post box the children made in class over a few days.

Then the teachers put any cards for each child in a decorated folder along with some paper decorations they made. So I didn’t know cards were in there until I opened the folder at home. And the children couldn’t see others leaving with/without cards.

TBH the list of 40 names may have put many parents off as that’s a mammoth task. I would have written the cards but I can see why some might not have had the extra time/cash for that many cards.

Sorry for your DD as it’s not nice. And your wasted time and effort. Enjoy your wine knowing that you made a lot of children happy.

Dreamingofkfc · 16/12/2021 17:32

Why did you write a card to her? Also some parents might have decided that writing cards on behalf of a nursery child isn’t high on their priority list

Seriously is this all you’ve got to worry about?

TurnUpTurnip · 16/12/2021 17:34

Why do you care? This is so silly, my daughter came out with about 6 cards, there are 30 children in her class, it’s such a petty thing to get wound up about, we won’t be sending any cards as my daughter doesn’t seem to know many of the children’s names and I don’t see her teacher to get a list 🤷‍♀️

ichundich · 16/12/2021 17:38

This card obsession of the British is crazy! At this age, it's very, very unlikely that your daughter was deliberately excluded though; probably it's just a mistake (i.e. she wasn't on the list or her cards or it got lost). Isn't it all a bit meaningless anyway to just write the recipient's name and your signature into 40+ cards each year?! I'll never understand it, but then I'm not from the UK.

Freddiefox · 16/12/2021 17:38

Ask the nursery staff. Talk to them, my ds wasn't invited to many parties in reception. He was very quite and probably not noticed by others. So with help the school and play dates we improved the situation.

Freddiefox · 16/12/2021 17:39

‘This card obsession of the British is crazy!’

🙄

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 16/12/2021 17:40

Huh never heard of such a thing! My kid in nursery had given 0 and received 0. My kid at primary has given 0 and received 2

Genuinely didn’t know this was a thing