Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery Christmas cards..

96 replies

wayoverthebridge · 16/12/2021 17:09

Evening,

There are 40 children in my daughters nursery and I have spent time writing out cards for each of them as the teacher gave us a list of names.

Went to pick up my daughter from nursery and all the children came out with lots of cards, over 20 Atleast. One little child was like "mummy I have 40 cards!"

My daughter comes out with 3.The first one is one I written myself included with the other ones I wrote. The second is from the teacher.

I know she hasn't got many friends in nursery but they are fucking 3, the parents are the ones writing them.

I'm actually fuming, would I be unreasonable to actually pull up parents tomorrow? Like literally all of them.

I'm currently drinking wine, eating cheese and writing 40 cards out to my child.

OP posts:
Pinetreesfall · 16/12/2021 21:47

@DeepaBeesKit my son is just 4. I'm not going to make him write out his name over and over! Working 12-14 hour days I would rather do fun stuff with my boys when we have time together!!
Each to their own!

CherryCoco · 16/12/2021 21:48

I've only written one card to the nursery from my ds Confused

JurgensCakeBabyJesus · 16/12/2021 21:52

Nursery cards?! I wrote a card to the nursery staff to say thank you for their time and effort in a very difficult year, we gave some merge boxes of chocolates for the staff room/to be shared out. I wouldn't even know the names of every other child in the class!

DrunkUnicorn · 16/12/2021 21:54

Good Lord, cards to each child in nursery? I didn't even know this was a thing. I'm so glad my DCs school does not do this. I absolutely abhor such activities which could end up with disproportionate outcomes for different children!

COL1N · 16/12/2021 22:03

Oh shit, am I meant to write cards for kids at nursery?!

cadburyegg · 16/12/2021 22:08

You wrote 40 cards for nursery children ?!?! I love sending and getting cards but that's really excessive

My 6 year old has only written about 5 for his friends plus 3 for teachers/TAs. My 3 year old, I've written 4

Original poster
wayoverthebridge · 16/12/2021 22:19

@ldontWanna

Most schools have a rule of "do it for all or not at all". While we can't physically enforce it, we just don't hand out anything that isn't for the whole class. It just gets returned to the parent or out in the child's bag.

As a result of this DD never does card because she can't be bothered writing 30 of them(and neither can I).Grin

Yeah that's exactly why I wrote 40 cards BlushBlushBlush

I really wish I hadn't! Took up my entire evening 😂

OP posts:
rainyskylight · 16/12/2021 22:54

What a waste of time and money

Stompythedinosaur · 16/12/2021 23:00

The dc who had loads - they were probably main from one other kid. My dc would make several cards at home and then a whole bunch more at preschool for their best friend at that age.

I have to admit I never wrote cards on behalf of my dc until they were doing it to practice writing in reception.

Charmatt · 16/12/2021 23:02

The nursery shouldn't be giving out lists of names!

RogueV · 16/12/2021 23:04

Never read anything so ridiculous

Cards at nursery?! Grin

WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain · 16/12/2021 23:05

The parents are idiots.

Fair enough if just not everyone did cards but clearly they are if some kids got 40!

I'm not sure there's anything you can do, except don't both doing anything for the other kids again whilst in preschool.

Unfortunately it's a tough lesson to learn, but most people are twats. Generally. You hope as parents they'd be kind and conscientious but they aren't. They don't give a f*.

WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain · 16/12/2021 23:06

@Charmatt

The nursery shouldn't be giving out lists of names!
Why? Giving out first names isn't a breach of confidentiality as you can't identify children from first names alone.
WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain · 16/12/2021 23:09

@cadburyegg

You wrote 40 cards for nursery children ?!?! I love sending and getting cards but that's really excessive

My 6 year old has only written about 5 for his friends plus 3 for teachers/TAs. My 3 year old, I've written 4

So it's very possible that some popular kids will get multiple cards whilst others may get none. That's really sad.

I did cards for all the kids. Because kids love having gifts and cards to open. We've hung ours above our table and at dinner it's all they want to talk about.

I bought a pack of 100 for 99p. And it took me about 15 mins to write them. Yes it's not great environmentally but at least kids have the excitement of having something just for them. They may not get much at home and a card for them may be quite a lovely sentiment.

Kite22 · 16/12/2021 23:19

@Franca123 no, it isn't a thing
@Lighthousedreams - it never was 'good manners' to waste time, money and paper writing out 40 cards to people that your dc can't even remember the names of.
@COL1N - no
@Charmatt - I totally agree, the nursery should not be giving out a list of names to other families
@WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain - you can, with loads of incredibly unusual names
@Idontwanna - there is no "most" about it. That has never been a rule in ANY of the schools I have worked in, or my dc have been to, or amongst any of the many teachers I know that this has come up in conversation with it. It is completely unenforceable as well as being ridiculous. It is up to each child / family who they choose to give a card to.

rumblypumbly · 16/12/2021 23:22

My ds's nursery is split into 4 pods of kids due to covid so we only got a list of the 10 other names in his pod and his 4 teachers - I wrote out cards for them only, not the whole nursery. But ONLY because he came home with 1 card yesterday and 2 today ... so I didn't want him to be the one not giving out cards. Its daft really. I think its sweet you are writing out cards to your daughter- i understand the feeling of wanting to take the disappointment away.

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 16/12/2021 23:26

Just I thought. I work in a nursery and atm we have a post office role play area stocked with amongst other things Christmas cards. The children love to scribble /draw/write in them and then put them in their tray to take homw with their other drawings /creations. This could be a reason why some children have lots?

ichundich · 16/12/2021 23:37

@MissyB1

I’m truly bewildered by the posters who believe that Christmas Cards are just an English thing Confused
They're really not a thing where I come from (Germany)! There'd you'd send them to people who you're not going to see over Christmas and write a proper message in there, telling them what you've been up, etc. But to give them to people who you meet daily is just a bit weird (I do it now to fit in, but it's a chore).
Charmatt · 16/12/2021 23:39

WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain

Because they are unlikely to have permission to share that information. The nursery loses control of that list the minute they distribute it. A single name can be used as part of other information already known to discover the whereabouts of a child. Unusual names or spellings of names contributes.

We have had DV families and fostered children in the past and have checked this with our legal advisors. Regardless of risks, data should not be shared without permission.

sheiselectric · 16/12/2021 23:45

Did you see said child with 40 cards in their hand? Because if not, I can almost guarantee they had about 4 cards, not 40. Children, especially at that age, are quite poor at estimating numbers.

IAmMeThisIsI · 16/12/2021 23:45

Aww bless her. She won't remember as she's 3. But it's a bit hurtful towards you tbh. I wouldn't be writing out cards ever again.

Also, sorry for asking as I haven't got kids. Are there any more days left of nursery before Christmas? I only ask to see if there's time for the parents to see your cards then give one?

Kite22 · 16/12/2021 23:53

There'd you'd send them to people who you're not going to see over Christmas and write a proper message in there, telling them what you've been up, etc. But to give them to people who you meet daily is just a bit weird

This is what I do with cards, and I am English (okay, with some Welsh blood) not German.

ldontWanna · 17/12/2021 07:48

@Kite22 true. They can choose who THEY give cards to. However, if they expect the school to deliver them it's all or none. DD's school even sent letters about it. If the child themselves give the cards, or the parents do at pick up/drop off, their own time etc fine. Otherwise we just hand them back. Same with birthday invites, sweets just for "my friends" etc.

roarfeckingroarr · 17/12/2021 13:22

I have only written a card to DS' key person, it didn't cross my mind to write cards to the other kids. They're one though.

TameDucksAtChatsworth · 17/12/2021 13:26

I'm not surprised you're annoyed and upset and I think that almost all of us would feel exactly the same.

Swipe left for the next trending thread