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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Nursery Christmas cards..

96 replies

wayoverthebridge · 16/12/2021 17:09

Evening,

There are 40 children in my daughters nursery and I have spent time writing out cards for each of them as the teacher gave us a list of names.

Went to pick up my daughter from nursery and all the children came out with lots of cards, over 20 Atleast. One little child was like "mummy I have 40 cards!"

My daughter comes out with 3.The first one is one I written myself included with the other ones I wrote. The second is from the teacher.

I know she hasn't got many friends in nursery but they are fucking 3, the parents are the ones writing them.

I'm actually fuming, would I be unreasonable to actually pull up parents tomorrow? Like literally all of them.

I'm currently drinking wine, eating cheese and writing 40 cards out to my child.

OP posts:

Rumplestrumpet · 16/12/2021 17:41

I understand why you feel disappointed but a couple of things to bear in mind :

Firstly the kid who said they have 40 is in nursery and probably can't count to 40. They probably had a dozen at most . You say other had "at least 20" - did they really though?

Most parents would not take the time to write 40 cards for kids they don't even know. I honestly can't quite believe you did. You can't be cross with other parents for not doing this. It seems some have just written a handful for their kid's closest friends - I don't think you can really have a go at them for this.

You can be disappointed that your daughter seems to have few friends maybe look at arranging some playdates in the new year? But don't start having a go at other parents for not sending your kid a card - you won't make any friends and will come across as a bit of a nutter

Franca123 · 16/12/2021 17:41

This thread has given me the absolute fear. Is this normal? I can't even write cards for my friends let alone 2year olds. Oh dear god. I hardly have enough time to get the bins out.

MissyB1 · 16/12/2021 17:43

“This card obsession of the British”

Don’t be a twat.

ShirleyPhallus · 16/12/2021 17:44

It is absolutely nuts to send 40 cards in to nursery for 3 year olds

They’ll literally be opened, glanced at once and binned. What a waste of time and resource

LetterBug · 16/12/2021 17:44

my children tend to rewrite cards to their best friends and receive lots from their best friends. Not all children.
lots of parents sending 5 or less per class as eco friendly move.
don't be upset. at 3 the parents not the children writing as you know. who cares? its a faff.

shouldistop · 16/12/2021 17:46

@OnceuponaRainbow18

Huh never heard of such a thing! My kid in nursery had given 0 and received 0. My kid at primary has given 0 and received 2

Genuinely didn’t know this was a thing

I don't really think it is a thing. My 5yo in the past has occasionally made a card for a best friend (not for any occasion, just because he wanted to). He's just written 4 cards this evening. One for his teacher, 1 for the classroom assistant and 1 for each of his p7 'buddies'.

SunshineCake1 · 16/12/2021 17:47

I'll send her a card if you PM me.

Brighteyedtriangle · 16/12/2021 17:48

Christmas cards at 4/5 is kind of a writing exercise so i imagine lots of parents havent bothered when they are 3.

I did it for 4 year olds last year where i wrote their name and she wrote her name but my god was it painful. She didnt barely get any back.

This year she wrote her own with abit of my help and shes pretty much got the full class back.

Dont be disheartened. It might be a mix up or not. She will be good over the next few years dont worry. The three she got are more special.

Enjoy your wine though sometimes a wine and rant is good for the soul

XelaM · 16/12/2021 17:50

It's not petty at all. Either all the kids should get the same number of cards or none

2TurtleDovesInARow · 16/12/2021 17:56

We are meant to send cards to nursery kids?!

It does sound like a mistake has been made or that the kids yelling 'i got 40' are exaggerating.

WaltzingTilda · 16/12/2021 18:00

That's a bit strange , it's such a shame. I can see how a few parents can be a bit "off " but for your daughter not to receive a card from any of the pupils is very strange. What I would say though is, not all the parents have the common sense to ask the teacher for a list of the nursery children's names, or just don't want to ask the teacher, and may rely on a list they get from a WhatsApp group. If your child's name has been missed out on that WhatsApp group's list then your dd wouldn't get a card. My dd is similar age to yours and we wrote cards to all the children and vice versa. I am surprised to read in some posts that they don't.

stingofthebutterfly · 16/12/2021 18:02

My kid would tell me she'd got 40 cards when, in reality, she'll have got 4. I couldn't get worked up about this.

EezyOozy · 16/12/2021 18:08

There are only 9 in my 4yo preschool so it wasn't to painful to do, plus we got an email saying that the post box was open for kids to send cards to their friends... tiny village school though.

Nearlytheretrees · 16/12/2021 18:20

At nursery we only did a couple of cards to people DC mentioned, I wasn't going to write out loads to kids they never played with. I'm assuming all 40 are not in the same class at same time to all know each other

Meatshake · 16/12/2021 19:18

Unless it's a really special friend, I don't bother until my kids are at least in reception and able to write their own cards.

Lighthousedreams · 16/12/2021 19:24

Aww, I am so sorry to hear this! Your poor DC. I always write cards to all the children in DC's nursery class. This is something my Mum did with me all through school. When did it stop being good manners to write cards to everyone in the class?!!

firstimemamma · 16/12/2021 19:26

Our nursery did this. My son has come away with cards on about 4 days or so, with I'd say about 7 cards each time. Could your daughter be due more cards tomorrow or does your nursery only have one card receiving day?

esloquehay · 16/12/2021 19:29

Bloody hell...English people are nuts over cards (I'm English, but puh-leeeeeeease).
My girls aren't giving cards because they can't write yet.
3 year olds giving cards and parents seeing it as a popularity contest?!
🤦🤦🤦

naomi81 · 16/12/2021 20:15

No chance will I be writing 40 cards 🤣 one for her key worker and that's it!

ldontWanna · 16/12/2021 21:03

Most schools have a rule of "do it for all or not at all". While we can't physically enforce it, we just don't hand out anything that isn't for the whole class. It just gets returned to the parent or out in the child's bag.

As a result of this DD never does card because she can't be bothered writing 30 of them(and neither can I).

Pinetreesfall · 16/12/2021 21:14

Haha what??! I was only joking with my DH earlier that the nursery mums that sit and write out 40/50 cards for 2/3 year olds must be super bored! Why, just why!!
I sincerely hope you don't go to our nursery and feel it necessary to tell me off for non-card writing because I'll be telling you where to stick your Christmas cards

MissyB1 · 16/12/2021 21:23

I’m truly bewildered by the posters who believe that Christmas Cards are just an English thing

WaltzingTilda · 16/12/2021 21:34

It's not a popularity contest at all. At 3/4 they love opening cards. They want to open it there and then. My little girl loves getting cards and gets quite possessive about them and so does some of her little friends from what I gather. So if it makes the little ones happy and you are able to do it, why not? If you can't sit and write out cards, then that's fine as well.

DeepaBeesKit · 16/12/2021 21:40

This is definitely pretty odd
In my sons school everyone gets the kids to write them for the whole class.

The judgement isn't how many your kid got it's the astonishment at the 4 year olds who can barely read yet have neat writing (DS had to be heavily bribed to scrawl his name in huge barely legible prints).

DeepaBeesKit · 16/12/2021 21:42

nursery mums that sit and write out 40/50 cards for 2/3 year olds must be super bored! Why, just why!!

Lots of people do it with their child at age 3/4 as it's a meaningful excuse for the to practice writing their own name.they write it 30 times and my god can you see the improvement.

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