To ask how important is your career

[LifeIsWhat]

The thing is, I like my work, it gives me a sense of satisfaction, financial security, belonging and I am quite good at it. However, I also worried that I hide behind it to make up/ignore the other missing part of my life, for example, a patter, kids, family, which are also important but I am less capable of obtaining.

What is your experience and please share your thoughts and advice.
Thank you very much.

I like my job because it gives me a good work/life balance and I generally enjoy it, though getting a little into a rut and looking to move, especially as life is getting more expensive and I have no leeway to earn any more with this employer - been in the same place nearly 9 years.

I had some mat cover management experience that proved, TBH, I'm not amazing at it but I'd like to move on while that's still recent history. Now the kids are older I could take on a bit more, do things that involve travel when that comes back. But I'll never really be defined by my job or have a Career with a capital C. I like my 'status' as someone who has a good work/life balance rather than wanting a job that bestows status in some way.

I was never cut out for any big earning/high status jobs - too bad at science/squeamish for medicine, hate arguments too much for law, not logical enough for software, not risk-taking or competitive enough for finance and so on.

I love my career. Its a huge part of my families lives. It means the kids can leave uni, debt free and should have a deposit for a house.

It also means, I could, retire in a few years in my mid 40s. I haven't decided if I will, but I will definitely scale back.

Take something with less responsibility, part time.

I had my kids young and my career seems less important, than in did when they were young. I became a single parenr in my early 30s. But now I am comfortable, financially. So it's not as imperative that I keep pushing.

Its becoming less and less important as I get older. I want to enjoy my life more and work less.

I don’t have a career, never have done. I’ve had a series of jobs really, which never really bothered me because I could get by without anyone else if my relationship had broken down.

Now… I’m a sahm and my lack of career is a massively big deal to me. My previous life of floating along has bit me in the arse because I’ve young twins and no means of supporting the 3 of us, and I’m reliant upon a man. If he leaves, we’re fucked. Well, I suppose we’re not but I cannot give them the lifestyle that he can provide for them, and I hate that I can’t but don’t know how to change it.

So, my advice for any woman who asks me their thoughts is do whatever you can to stay employed, and look out for yourself. Don’t float through life like I have so far believing in love and fairytales, take care of your own shit and only give up work if you’re secure financially and able to take care of the babies without him. I appreciate this isn’t always possible, but if you’ve a choice pick work! And make sure you have a pension. I’ve realised recently they’re actually rather important

@LifeIsWhat well actually what happened was that I got mugged walking home from work - we lived on a busy main road and it was about 6pm, some guys followed me off the train and came up behind me and stole my bag and ran off. It scared me so much I didn’t feel safe anymore and I had family in Norfolk (well sort of, my dds grandparents on her dads side, he wasn’t seeing her much then but his mum and dad were and they were nice) so I decided I wanted to move… so did…! I don’t regret moving at all. I spent most of my life in London but Norfolk feels like home now. I’m in my 40s now and enjoy the quieter pace of life.

It's not important to me. I became an accountant for the money. So it was important for a while as I wanted to qualify before starting a family. I wanted the same lifestyle I had and to go part time.

I'm very much of the opinion U work to live not vice versa. I love working part time it's pretty rubbish that the norm in the uk is 35-40 hrs a wk or more for most folk.

Important to me, I really like my job & love my colleagues & laugh a lot. I am married with dc.

I think I use it as a distraction sometimes, I've been promoted a few times when my personal life hasn't been great eg relationships or ill health as I tend to throw myself into work, maybe to avoid thinking about the other stuff?

I don't work f/t though & share pick ups with DH.

Are you “hiding behind it” as in you are avoiding other things or is it just that you don’t want them but feel you should? What makes you happy?

My career is incredibly important to me and fairly all consuming at times but it’s not an imposition- I love it and I get huge satisfaction from it. I also have a great set of colleagues many of whom are also friends. Yes other things have gone by the way side but I am not sure that’s career related. Sometimes I pretend it is because other people are pitying that I am single but actually it’s just mainly that no one wants to date me OR my career has given me the worth and self esteem that my standards are high and I am not going to drop them because I don’t need to.

I have plenty of good things in my life and am not going to waste my time with a loser (and at my age there are many losers and not so many winners left) You could also look at it the other way. Some people hide behind a relationship and family as a reason not to develop a career they adore and no one bats an eyelid

Make it clear in your head if it’s an avoidance or just the thing that makes you happy and gives you fulfilment

I dont have a career and don't really care. I've had shaky mental health in the past and have found the key to staying well is to avoid stress. I take enormous satisfaction from other areas of my life, making art and raising my kids. We dont have much but I think we are happy.

Popopopo

Exactly what I was going to say.

Not in the least bit important. I place a far higher value on my family and friends. Working just enables me to have a nice house and do fun stuff when I have free time.

I don't have a career. The people I know who do are all, without exception, extremely stressed. I have a job and I work and earn money to pay bills and support my family - that's fine for me. I never have a sleepless night about work which is such a relief as I have plenty of sleepless nights about other things!

I like my job. I'm not sure what I hope to get out of it... financial security & a feeling of accomplishment?

I hate public or even colleague attention which sometimes I brush up against. I think I'd prefer to do all my work anonymously if I could.

I love my job. It’s a huge part of my identity and I’m actually very proud to do what I do.

I don’t have children but I have a husband and pets and I’m close to family. Others sometimes sneer and tell me the reason I’m not behind is because I don’t have kids/ work too much etc. but I chose this lifestyle. I’m not judging them for how they choose to play it.

I get that I am replaceable and just a bean but it gives me great satisfaction that I do a good job and those around me can rely on me.

Career is a huge part of my life and who I am. It does a lot for my self worth, I ensure I'm in roles I enjoy as life is too short. I try to balance it with family and home life, it's not my whole life.

I work because we need the money. The pay is crap but I have very few options- partly due to my qualifications/ experience and partly due to childcare. I do enjoy my job but not as much as I'd like.

OP how old are you?

I spent most of my 20s single and work was a huge part of me back then. The fact I didn’t have any other priorities meant I could take on any opportunity that came my way. I did a lot of travelling with work and even relocated to the US for a couple of years. Focusing on my career in that way allowed me to progress quickly.

Now that I have two kids I just can’t give the same level of commitment as I could previously. I wouldn’t say my career is less important to me, I just have other priorities that mean I can’t give it 100% any more.

Interesting that I came across this thread as I’ve been thinking of this myself. I think I use my job to distract and get out of situations. For example MIL demands anything I say sorry too much marking to do!

I don’t know what I will do without my job but I can’t carry on like this anymore

Its important to me. I think there is a lot of important things in life: family, friends, faith, interests, leisure, learning.

I'm guilty of letting work take over, especially when it's busy but I try and get balance in quieter times. I swim first thing, start work late, lunch with husband twice a week, finish late often, work 4 days a week and the day "off" always seems harder. Try not to work weekends and try to take holidays where I completely disconnect.

I find it very stressful at this time of year but I'm not tempted to downgrade my life and get a lesser job. I think if you're going to be working you might as well earn the most you can and be as senior as you cope with.

Top roles are in reach but I think I'd have to be full time. It's a shame that ageism means that by the time my dc are grown and I can push harder in my career again I will be deemed "too old".

I enjoy mine and I’m incredibly proud of it but it’s not as important as it used to be. It’s the part of my week when I am just SockFluff not mum or Mrs SF. Relentless rounds of redundancies take the shine off though, and DD14 nearly dying earlier this year put it firmly ‘just a job’ box. Family first-second-third now, and everything else can get on the list and wait its turn.

@Elfonthesofa

I don't have a career. I have a job that I do to pay the bills and if I didn't have to, then I wouldn't work.

I 'enjoy' what I do (if you could say that). I see the value in what I do. I pride myself in doing my best and making sure something is done properly. But that being said, I don't go above and beyond after getting fucked over by a previous manager. I don't want to 'play the game' of office politics, sucking up to the boss, trying to progress my career. As soon as 5pm hits, I am done.

I have kids. I know people who died younger than me. As mentioned before, I got fucked over by a previous manager. I just don't see work as anything other than a means to an end now.

This resonated with me!

I used to be extremely work driven for many years, loved what I did & went above and beyond for 12 years. It was not good for my health towards the end which is when I eventually left & went to a bee job.

I really liked the new job (still there) but as Elfonthesofa says I don’t go out of my way to go above & beyond anymore because it’s not appreciated (I’m sure at some companies it is). I have a work life balance now & leave work at work.
I also have young kids and lost my parents at a young age so feel that life can be far too short for a lot of people. Work is definitely not my priority at the moment.

@LifeIsWhat - Do you mind if I ask how old you are please? I have a 30 year old DD who I try and reassure her about her life decisions so far.

It's important in that it pays the bills. I actually retrained recently to be something that I'd need to set up as self employed.

If I get a windfall to pay off my mortgage then I'm definitely going to wrap it all in and go for it.