Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend was not wrong in doing this?

124 replies

OneRuleForThem · 16/12/2021 14:55

There has been a split between friends over this conversation, I am on the side of my friend, everyone else is on the other side, not falling out with each other but each side thinking they are right and the other is wrong.

My friend said there is a small dog in the flat above her that sounds like a chihuahua or small kind of dog or a small puppy because of the way it yelps all the time. And said the people in the (one bedroomed) flat go out all day every day of the working week and come back in the evening, but the dog barks all day because left on its own and then barks in a distressed way when they return.

So my friend said they made a call to the RSPCA (not sure if that’s who it was to I can’t remember, but some “official” group) and said she things the dog is being abused and being hit by its owners (but she didn’t really believe that). People came round when they weren’t home and heard the dog in there and then when they came back they talked to them and they eventually ended up with some sort of warning issued to them (not that that’s affected the barking though according to her).

The other side says she was completely out of order saying the dog was being abused when she didn’t think it was being but she said leaving it alone all day in a one bed flat to bark in distress and then bark in even more distress when they came home sounded abusive, and it was also abusive to her having to listening to it all day, every day (she wfh). She thinks (and I agree) that it is a form of abuse to leave a small dog all day alone and if the RSPCA or whoever had found signs of neglect then it would have helped the dog get away from its imprisonment if they had have taken it from the owners. Which side do you think is the one that is BU?

OP posts:
sadpapercourtesan · 16/12/2021 14:59

Yeah, your friend is a lying busybody Confused

I'm struggling to see any nuance to that interpretation. She's just a lying busybody.

TheSnowyOwl · 16/12/2021 15:01

So she lied? If she had concerns about the dog, why didn’t she speak to the owners first of all?

Original poster
OneRuleForThem · 16/12/2021 15:01

@sadpapercourtesan

Yeah, your friend is a lying busybody Confused

I'm struggling to see any nuance to that interpretation. She's just a lying busybody.

I don’t see how she was a busybody?? It was literally affecting her
OP posts:
Original poster
OneRuleForThem · 16/12/2021 15:02

@TheSnowyOwl

So she lied? If she had concerns about the dog, why didn’t she speak to the owners first of all?
She doesn’t like confrontation
OP posts:
FFSFFSFFS · 16/12/2021 15:03

I’m on her aside - it’s awfully abusive to leave a dog alone all day like that and she’s right that nothing would be done unless she exaggerated. I’m Team Puppynon this one

lmnoh · 16/12/2021 15:03

I think she did the right thing 👍

TheSnowyOwl · 16/12/2021 15:04

How is it confrontation? She would just be having a quiet chat to see if they realised their pet had separation anxiety or was upset whilst they were away from the flat.

I guarantee they will know it was her who reported them so if she doesn’t like confrontation, she will probably need to move. She sounds throughly unpleasant.

sonjadog · 16/12/2021 15:04

I think she should have told the truth. I wouldn’t think much of her for lying.

PinkWaferBiscuit · 16/12/2021 15:05

She lied and made a malicious complaint saying they were hitting their dog rather than going round to discuss the fact the dog barks whilst they are out like a mature adult.

Let's hope no one ever makes up untrue stories about her. Hmm

WorraLiberty · 16/12/2021 15:05

She doesn’t like confrontation

Cowardly and a liar?

Any redeeming qualities?

WheelieBinPrincess · 16/12/2021 15:05

What was the point?

The dog is still being left at home all day, the issue wasn’t the dog being hit Confused

Anyway if it’s got owners, shelter, food and water the RSPCA are going to do fuck all.

Boood · 16/12/2021 15:05

She lied to whoever it was that went round to the flat on the strength of what she told them. And because they went to her building, they didn’t go to see another animal that genuinely needed to be rescued.

She should have complained to the management company of the building if she couldn’t speak directly to her neighbours.

Starcaller · 16/12/2021 15:06

Sorry but I think she's a knob. First of all, she lied. She has no reason to believe they are hitting and abusing a dog and that's a very damaging thing to accuse someone of. Secondly, she could easily have put a note through the door as the first port of call. They might not be aware the dog is distressed.

We had this issue with an old family dog who had happily been left alone for a few hours a day for her whole life but in her old age started barking. We were very grateful to the neighbours who told us, who did so kindly, and we found alternative arrangements for her. No need for false accusations of abuse Hmm

Youdoyoutoday · 16/12/2021 15:06

I can't agree with her lying implying they are hurting the dog.
However, I do agree that leaving the dog to bark all day is wrong and something needs to be done about that.

girlmom21 · 16/12/2021 15:07

If she felt the need to lie I don't think she actually thinks their behaviour is that bad.

I think she was in the wrong. She should've told the truth.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 16/12/2021 15:09

Obviously ideally you should talk owners first but depending on what they are like that might not be practical safe.

MichelleScarn · 16/12/2021 15:12

So how lovely, taking rspca away from animals that could really need help then?

Stiffcondomhat · 16/12/2021 15:16

Your friend is not b u I'd do whatever it takes to stop an annoying dog yapping all day.

Ludo19 · 16/12/2021 15:18

I've been on the receiving end of a malicious complaint from the SSPCA which was based on lies and it was proven when they entered my property

She does realise that the RSPCA visiting
her neighbours stops that officer going to
an actual cruelty case?
I don't condone a dog left alone all day to bark its head off but I can't condone your friend making up stories about abuse, that's pretty much unforgivable.

Vanishun · 16/12/2021 15:19

They have limited time and resources, so presumably a fake call diverts them from a real pet being abused? Yeah I'd think that was shit.

I don't like dogs and would hate the barking thing but even so!

Shiningpath · 16/12/2021 15:21

I was on your friend’s side until I read that she lied.

DespairingHomeowner · 16/12/2021 15:25

@PinkWaferBiscuit

She lied and made a malicious complaint saying they were hitting their dog rather than going round to discuss the fact the dog barks whilst they are out like a mature adult.

Let's hope no one ever makes up untrue stories about her. Hmm

^ this. Fine to speak to owners/make a true complaint.

If shes ok with lying to get what she wants, then surely its fine if eg any neightbouts lie about how she treats her kids

CharlotteRose90 · 16/12/2021 15:27

A puppy or any dog for that matter should not be left all day alone, no wonder it’s barking. I’m fully on her side. I’d report anyones dog that barked all the time. Plus it’s damn right selfish to have a dog in a flat .

LightSpeeds · 16/12/2021 15:30

It's appalling to lie about something like that. Would she make up a similar lie about parents abusing a child?

LondonJax · 16/12/2021 15:31

I agree that the dog shouldn't be left alone all day but your friend should have just had a quiet word. Unless the owners have somehow got a recorder hidden they have no idea what the dog does when they're not there. They don't know if it settles or if it barks all day. If she'd mentioned it to them and they'd done nothing then I think she'd be justified to call the RSPCA or whoever for advice on what to do next.

But saying it's being abused (which summons up images of hitting or worse) is wrong as it's a lie.

It could be the owners couldn't care less or it could be that they're new to dog ownership and didn't realise what sort of noise the dog was making. But your friend went straight from 'what a racket' to 'these people are abusing their pet'.

As for not liking confrontation...I think she'll get a bit of it if the dog's owners figure out who reported them. That's not going to be hard is it? All for the want of a quiet word that may have made them rethink owning the animal.