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AIBU?

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Original poster

How much wine is too much

139 replies

Samedaysame · 16/12/2021 14:23

Went out for a Christmas meal last night with 6 friends. One friend is a non drinker. We had 6 bottles of wine between 5 and half bottles between 5 of us. This morning had a phone call from non drinking friend to say we all drank too much and 2 bottles between us should have been enough. We were not merry but nowhere near drunk, not noisy or disruptive. AIBU to think that this telling off is out of order.

OP posts:
LittleRoundRobin · 16/12/2021 15:22

@Samedaysame

I don't get this bit sorry...

We had 6 bottles of wine between 5 and half bottles between 5 of us...

'6 bottles of wine between 5' and 'half bottles between us...' Struggling to make sense of that.

Anyway in answer to your question, 6 bottles between 5 people (if that IS what you meant,) sounds about right for a night out. 3 glasses each roughly, with a couple of people having 4 glasses? Not too much IMO.

Also, like some teetotallers (not all) your friend sounds like a judgemental bore. I know a couple of teetotallers and they always have something to say about ANYone who has a drink. In addition, they are boring and snarky and make it obvious that they actually want to drink alcohol - and are just projecting.

I don't think your friend is jealous - as a pp said - but she is boring and judgemental.

A friend of mine is married to a man who doesn't drink, and she can just drink a solitary glass of wine, and he starts barking 'piss-head' and 'lush' and 'alkie.'

It's got to the point now where she won't drink in front of him now, and won't have alcohol in the house. She just goes to a friend's house to drink. OR goes to the pub with her sister or one of her mates. I couldn't live like that personally. I would find it very hard to live with a man who doesn't drink alcohol. I don't think a teetotaller and a drinker are compatible long-term tbh.

MorningStarling · 16/12/2021 15:40

This morning had a phone call from non drinking friend to say we all drank too much and 2 bottles between us should have been enough.

And non-drinkers wonder why everyone think they're boring lol. No, two bottles would not go between five adults! Each adult needs between a bottle and a bottle and a half, maybe two bottles if they are having a "wild" night.

LittleRoundRobin · 16/12/2021 15:49

@MorningStarling

This morning had a phone call from non drinking friend to say we all drank too much and 2 bottles between us should have been enough.

And non-drinkers wonder why everyone think they're boring lol. No, two bottles would not go between five adults! Each adult needs between a bottle and a bottle and a half, maybe two bottles if they are having a "wild" night.

I'd be on my back in the gutter if I had 2 bottles of wine to myself in one sitting! Grin

I am a bit of a lightweight these days though! Smile Used to be able to drink an army under the table in my yoof! Grin

PurpleDaisies · 16/12/2021 15:52

And non-drinkers wonder why everyone think they're boring lol. No, two bottles would not go between five adults! Each adult needs between a bottle and a bottle and a half, maybe two bottles if they are having a "wild" night.

I'd be on my back in the gutter if I had 2 bottles of wine to myself in one sitting!

Me too! Two glasses is about my limit these days. In my social circle none of us are big drinkers so two bottles between five would be plenty. There isn’t just one answer to “how much is enough for a night out?”

stingofthebutterfly · 16/12/2021 15:53

Whether it was too much or not depends on your individual tolerances and perceptions but, as a non-drinker, I often see problems that the drinkers are oblivious to. Maybe she was just concerned for your welfare.

TuftyMarmoset · 16/12/2021 15:58

And non-drinkers wonder why everyone think they're boring lol

Drinking alcohol does not make you interesting…

SueSaid · 16/12/2021 16:01

@TuftyMarmoset

I think I trust the sober one to know how drunk the the rest of you were Wink Drunk people are really annoying, in her defence.
This.

6 bottles for 5 people is a lot.

DressingPafe · 16/12/2021 16:04

This is the problem "sometimes" with "some" non drinkers. I have no issue socialising with people who don't drink but they need to leave their judgey pants at home!

5keletor · 16/12/2021 16:23

Who can say if it's too much? To me, a bottle per person is too much, because it would floor me. 2 bottles would leave me 2 sheets to the wind, and very, very unwell the following day. However if you can handle that without getting too drunk, it's not as bad.
If you weren't all blind drunk then probably YANBU. Although sometimes the sober person is a good measure of your drunken behaviour. I've been that person while pregnant and am sure the others thought they were being fun and chatty, when they were talking rubbish and mainly being annoying. 😂

SueSaid · 16/12/2021 16:24

'have no issue socialising with people who don't drink but they need to leave their judgey pants at home!'

Maybe she has concerns for her pissed up pals welfare. Many heavy drinkers are in complete denial.

ponkydonkey · 16/12/2021 16:28

She sounds fun 😬

TheSmallAssassin · 16/12/2021 16:39

A bottle of wine is supposed to be six glasses, not three! 250ml is a massive glass of wine. I'd usually stop at half a bottle, but would probably drink a bit more for a long, special meal. I very rarely drink a whole bottle these days and would definitely feel the worse for wear!

A bottle is getting on for 10 of your weekly 14 units.

Itloggedmeoutagain · 16/12/2021 16:43

She needs to mind her own business

Cherryblossoms85 · 16/12/2021 16:49

I'd never be able to drink that much, but a bit bizarre for her to comment. She's going to have to find some teetotal friends if it bothers her that much.

ColettesEarrings · 16/12/2021 16:55

Never invite her out again. Problem solved! Three large glasses is perfectly normal on a special lunch out. It's a lot but it's a one of. I'd have to say something back, can't abide snipey know it alls.

gogohm · 16/12/2021 16:56

It's a lot but not too much. I'm guessing the non drinking one didn't like the way the evening developed

Saskia6 · 16/12/2021 16:57

So your DH kindly paid for her meal and she’s piping up the next day judging everyone? Tell her to bore off and she’s not welcome next time.

Given the way this country is going again who would begrudge you a night out and a few drinks. She’s a pain

lazylinguist · 16/12/2021 17:05

A bottle is getting on for 10 of your weekly 14 units.

Yes, but I don't think there's any suggestion that this is the OP's weekly drinking pattern, is there? We are talking about a Christmas celebratory meal, not a weekly habit.

Besides which, it's only getting on for her weekly limit. If she doesn't drink for the rest of the week she'll still be below it. And yes, I know that binge drinking is worse than having small amounts spread through the week, but it was a Christmas celebration meal!

EnidFrighten · 16/12/2021 17:08

Too much for an ordinary day, not too much for a Christmas dinner. She doesn't get to dictate what other people consume. If you're a non-drinker, it's just tough luck that companions will get progressively more sozzled and annoying.

ISpyCobraKai · 16/12/2021 17:10

Absolutely fine over a meal.

TheSmallAssassin · 16/12/2021 17:18

Yeah, @lazylinguist, it's OK every now and again and rude to mention it, just a bit Hmm at people suggesting it's a perfectly normal thing to drink a bottle of wine in a sitting, because "it's only three glasses"

rubyglitter · 16/12/2021 17:20

You had a bottle of wine each. That’s over 10 units in one sitting. Not sure why people are saying it’s just 3 glasses? Must be large glasses. If this is a one off then fair enough.

lazylinguist · 16/12/2021 17:24

Not sure why people are saying it’s just 3 glasses?

Because a large glass in a pub is often 250ml, which is a third of a bottle of wine.

DressingPafe · 16/12/2021 17:26

Maybe she has concerns for her pissed up pals welfare. Many heavy drinkers are in complete denial

Then maybe she should decline invites to a boozy night out. She has no right to tell others how much they can drink.

girlmom21 · 16/12/2021 17:29

@TheSmallAssassin

A bottle of wine is supposed to be six glasses, not three! 250ml is a massive glass of wine. I'd usually stop at half a bottle, but would probably drink a bit more for a long, special meal. I very rarely drink a whole bottle these days and would definitely feel the worse for wear!

A bottle is getting on for 10 of your weekly 14 units.

Well it's 6 small glasses or 3 large. A large glass of wine isn't massive. 3 are easily drinkable - and I'm not a big drinker at all.