AIBU to end my relationship

[unleashingtheflyingmonkeys]

Hi guys

Im so upset and don't really have anyone IRL to talk to about this.

I've been with my fiancee for a few months now. It moved very quickly. He moved kn quite fast, seemed in a hurry.

But I fell for him and have been very happy so didn't see the issue.

He has an ex he was engaged to but they broke up on very bad terms. His ex is close friends with my best friends brother so we have mutual friends in common.

He popped the question 2 weeks ago and I was thrilled. After a shit time I've never been so happy. I posted the pic on fb with the ring, who He had me showing it off to everyone at his works Xmas party. Everyone commented how gorgeous it was.

Got a call on my way into work this morning from my best friend. His ex has said that my ring is the ring he used to propose to her with.

Worse bit is, she paid for it, he was meant to pay her back, never did and kept it.

He told me he'd bought it from H Samuel,.he hasn't and is now saying he's had it since before he met me,.but has.never given it to anyone.

His ex sent me a photo, the two are identical.

Im more upset about the lies and how he's made me look stupid.

AIBU to end the relationship?

Thank God he's gone!!! What a useless man

@ftw163532

I'd call it vulnerability rather than gullibility.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

On the contrary, I think the OP should be a bit harder if it means not moving new men into her children's home.

If you trust his ex more than you trust him then you should both walk away now! That's no basis for a marriage!

Your children would not necessarily tell you they feel uncomfortable at a man moving in so quickly. It’s your job as their parent to exercise better judgement.

You moved in a man with a restraining order against him. That could well have been avoided if you hadn’t rushed it all.

Nobody falls in love faster than a narcissist who needs somewhere to live.

You now need to work on keeping him away and doing the freedom programme.

@RedFlagsAllOver 😂

From what you have posted no sane woman with healthy boundaries would go near this man.
You need to get to a point where you are that woman before you date anybody again.

@TheCatsHaveKilledTheGonks is spot-on here OP.
Have a look at doing this course - www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/online.php

& buy yourself these books as a christmas & "well done me" present :)

www.amazon.co.uk/Woman-Your-Own-Right-Assertiveness/dp/0704334208?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Forget about dating until you know yourself better - therapy is a great plan: invest in yourself, not men, for a year or so. The change to your life, wellbeing, & ability to assert your own agency will be immense.

Leaving aside that you moved him in so quickly when you have your children living with you, you posted on social media before you bothered to tell them?
If his ex found photos of the ring, DC could easily have heard about it from elsewhere.
YABVU