AIBU to end my relationship

[unleashingtheflyingmonkeys]

Hi guys

Im so upset and don't really have anyone IRL to talk to about this.

I've been with my fiancee for a few months now. It moved very quickly. He moved kn quite fast, seemed in a hurry.

But I fell for him and have been very happy so didn't see the issue.

He has an ex he was engaged to but they broke up on very bad terms. His ex is close friends with my best friends brother so we have mutual friends in common.

He popped the question 2 weeks ago and I was thrilled. After a shit time I've never been so happy. I posted the pic on fb with the ring, who He had me showing it off to everyone at his works Xmas party. Everyone commented how gorgeous it was.

Got a call on my way into work this morning from my best friend. His ex has said that my ring is the ring he used to propose to her with.

Worse bit is, she paid for it, he was meant to pay her back, never did and kept it.

He told me he'd bought it from H Samuel,.he hasn't and is now saying he's had it since before he met me,.but has.never given it to anyone.

His ex sent me a photo, the two are identical.

Im more upset about the lies and how he's made me look stupid.

AIBU to end the relationship?

Being together for a few months is not long enough to know whether you are compatible to make a lifelong commitment together.

I don't expect my partner to lie to me.

I think you’ve got engaged too quickly and I’m wondering if he’s trying to taunt his ex. LTB

He’s had to lovebomb you so you don’t see who he is.

Dump. Block. And run. He is not the man you think he is.

That is shockingly awful. A Cheap skate and a liar.

I can’t work out why she paid for the ring but he’s got it. Was he supposed to pay her and didn’t?

My god, give the poor woman her ring and run. Sorry to be harsh

I wouldn’t refer to him as your fiancé either.

He's moved fast to move in and propose to secure his 'deal'. Sorry, but in my opinion he just wants somewhere to live with a built in housekeeper who'll also be responsible for the bills. My ExH has done this 3 times in the 3yrs since we divorced.. no responsibilities and someone else picks up the tab for food & board
Bin and run

He saw you coming, didn't he?

He's saying he's had the ring since before he met you?

Is it a thing for men to buy engagement rings when they're not in a relationship? The only reason I can think of for someone having a ring is if they bought it for someone else and the relationship ended.

What is the financial arrangement? Does he work and do his fair share of chores etc?

Leave the guy in 2021. You deserve better than him/that. ❤

What does he say about the two pictures of the ring being identical? He can’t get out of that surely.

I wouldn't say moving in quickly is a red flag (although how quick is quickly??) but that whole ring situation is the biggest red flag going.

He seems like a freeloader that's in for whatever he can get out of someone - especially considering she paid for her own ring. What was she even thinking doing that in the first place!?. The fact he's then passed it on to someone else and hasn't paid her back for it?

Think of what this means for the future. If you were to marry him then everything you own, everything you will ever own will become half of his. From what it sounds he's not exactly trustworthy with money and then what's to say he won't move on to someone else, demand half of your assets and then start the cycle all over again?

How long was he engaged to his ex and how long were they together before they got engaged? He sounds like a chancer and I would get out now whilst you still can.

I know it's hard ending a relationship and if you need any support just ask

Give the ring back to the ex, possibly via your friend. Pack this twat's belongings and leave them outside. Change the locks. Block him on everything.

YANBU at all.

I couldn't give a tinker's cuss about the ring itself. But I'd hate being lied to and it gives me the strong suspicion you were just lined up as the next victim.

@unleashingtheflyingmonkeys he is shwing you so much of himself.

He was in a rush, had a need to be met. You provided.

He had 'this old ring' hanging around, he needed to keep you, so he has proposed.

He needed it to happen quickly so you wouldn't think, you'd be in that first flush of 'love/lust'

Thank his ex. Give her her ring back. Get uour best mate, her brother and al, to be with you tonight when you put him and all he has in your home on the outside of your door.

You see, it doesn't matter what he says now. What he has done is lie, manipulate and mislead you. He is not the person you thought he was. He never will be that person. You fell in love with a lie, and he knew it. Know you do too. So pop him out and take the weekend to cry yourself a river. Then make plans for a good holiday period and a better 2022.

Apart from anything else he sounds stupid to think it wouldn't get back to you.

@Sausagedogsarethebest

He's saying he's had the ring since before he met you?

Is it a thing for men to buy engagement rings when they're not in a relationship? The only reason I can think of for someone having a ring is if they bought it for someone else and the relationship ended.

Yes - that makes no sense at all!

What happened - he popped out to the shops one Saturday and bought eggs, pasta, toilet roll and an engagement ring?????

He told me he'd bought it from H Samuel,.he hasn't and is now saying he's had it since before he met me,.but has.never given it to anyone.

Who buys an engagement ring to keep in the drawer, on the off-chance someone might want to marry them?

Looks like a lucky escape OP but given the speed of it all, please tell us you don't have DC?

Giant red flags.

Get rid.

He's a cheapskate, a cocklodger and a liar and you'd be insane to stay with him after such a short period of time. You barely know him. Nobody falls in love as quickly as a man who needs somewhere to live.

He's sounds a right charmer, he's a massive liar too. Dump.

OP I get the impression the ring he gave you has absolutely nothing to do with him marrying you and you two living happily ever after and that is usually what people first think of when they say "getting engaged"

Be thankful it never got as far as a wedding. Run. You'll find someone who doesn't lie and is worth your time 💐

My guess is he’s abusive. At best, a liar and a cheat.

Trust your instincts! This behaviour alone is shocking. He has no integrity.