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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should nursery of notified me?

103 replies

Covidtrap · 16/12/2021 08:46

Got turned away from the door at nursery this morning (on my way to work) as son has been unwell, high fever, a bit lethargic, not eating and loose nappies x2 over two days. I put all this down to teething as he has had very similar in the past also he has runny nose and dribbling alot, biting etc. I didnt want to send him in but i am a lone parent basically his dad only has him one day a week and when i asked if he could take him as i didnt want him im nursery he refused to take time off work and i have no carers leave left due to him having covid, previous sickness etc. Anyway they tell me we cant take him in as have had a vomiting bug in his room since monday? Shouldnt i of been notified via their app or email as i always thought hes just teething but hasnt been himself. They also did the same with an outbreak of foot and mouth. I travelled back to my home country a day later i notice blisters etc and took him to aed as i didnt know what it was at the time. I then get an email a few days later saying theyve had foot and mouth in his room for over two weeks new cases. Shouldnt u be notified if theres even one just to be mindful and keep an eye out? Also had i of known about vomiting bug i may of been able to make arangements or try and swap shifts

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 16/12/2021 08:49

No there's no need to notify you.

DropYourSword · 16/12/2021 08:53

I’m not sure I really follow your logic here. Your son showed lots of signs of being sick but you still wanted to take him in. I know how inconvenient it is to have to deal with a sick kid when you’ve no sick leave left but that’s one of the shot parts of patenting.
I think you know in all honesty you shouldn’t have taken him in but it’s more convenient to shift a burden of blame onto them for not notifying you about other sickness in the room.
However yeah, I’ve received notifications about hand, foot &mouth and sickness bugs in the room so I agree it would have been good if they’d informed you.

Overthebow · 16/12/2021 08:54

No there’s no requirement to notify you. With a high fever you should have taken for PCR test and isolated anyway, and with loose nappies over two days you shouldn’t be taking him to nursery either. So YABU.

VladmirsPoutine · 16/12/2021 08:54

I'm not going to mention it but subsequent posters might!!!

Anyway, wrt your question I think they should have mentioned it.

MerryMarigold · 16/12/2021 08:57

I don't think 2 loose nappies over 2 days = vomiting bug. However, I wouldn't take a child in with fever. It's not fair on them or staff. They will be miserable, need rest and cuddles, and a parent's care. I guess unpaid leave is only option.

allofthecheese · 16/12/2021 09:01

I really wouldn't have sent him in in the first place with all those symtpoms. It's a shame it's incovienient for you but you're seriously putting others at risk of catching whatever it is. Has he had a PCR test done?

Stormwhale · 16/12/2021 09:01

It is a complete, and dangerous myth that teething causes a fever. Fever is the body's response to a pathogen, so bacteria or virus. If your child has a fever, they are unwell. There is no reason for teething to cause a fever, as the body does not need to fight anything off. A fever means the body is trying to kill off a virus or bacterial infection.

pianolessons1 · 16/12/2021 09:02

High fever = stay home and do PCR test. I despair that 18 months in people don't know this.

Original poster

Covidtrap · 16/12/2021 09:04

Pcr is negative he only had covid about 3 weeks ago also

OP posts:

MooseBreath · 16/12/2021 09:04

With a high fever and loose nappies, he shouldn't have been in nursery regardless of the reasoning. I do understand that teething can sometimes cause this (it definitely did with my DS), but it isn't fair to the nursery to look after a poorly child. Furthermore, it isn't fair on your child that he can't be at home in a calm environment when he is feverish and lethargic.

I do think nursery should have sent an email about a vomiting bug, but that's really not the point here.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 16/12/2021 09:07

I'm also a bit confused by your post but broadly-

Its unreasonable to want to take your child into nursery with a fever, unless they've had a pcr. Not fair on child or staff (even if no covid).

In terms of notifications, our nursery never notified us of vomiting bugs, and I'm not sure what action I would have taken if they had. Although it was annoying when I called them to tell them my kids were ill and they replied 'oh yes, there has been a horrible bug going round'.

However our nursery always notified parents when there was a case of hand foot and mouth or chicken pox, I thought they had to

Rosebel · 16/12/2021 09:08

You know your son was too ill for nursery, otherwise you wouldn't have asked his dad to have him.
Should they have told you? Maybe but they don't have to and if your child is unwell you take unpaid leave. Why did you think your sick child would be okay at nursery, regardless of what bugs are going round.

FatCatThinCat · 16/12/2021 09:08

You shouldn't be trying to leave an ill child at nursery full stop, regardless of covid. I'm actually gobsmacked that you thought it ok to go in when he had a fever. Keep your germs to yourself!

santasmuma · 16/12/2021 09:08

high fever, a bit lethargic, not eating and loose nappies x2 over two days.

Why in earth were you trying to put him to nursery? poor kid is unwell - it actually doesn't matter if it's down to teething, covid, winter bug or anything else. He isn't well so should be at home, for his own comfort if not anything else

santasmuma · 16/12/2021 09:10

@Covidtrap

Pcr is negative he only had covid about 3 weeks ago also

I didn't think you were supposed to take a PCR within 90 days?

Rainbows246 · 16/12/2021 09:15

He is obviously unwell and shouldn’t be in nursery anyway. You would have been rang to pick him up when the staff realised.

BatshitBanshee · 16/12/2021 09:18

Christ alive. Your child is unwell but you sent him to nursery - and now you have an issue because there was an illness going round the nursery and they didn't personally inform you? I mean?? What would you have done?? What would it have taken from your son for you to consider he was sick? He had loose nappies, lethargic a temp and not eating. What more of an indicator do you need. I swear people will do anything these days to absolve themselves of personal responsibility.

BatshitBanshee · 16/12/2021 09:21

And the runny nose! What did you think?? That even if it wasn't teething, you're happy for him to go in for your convenience and possibly spread it to other children but have the audacity to take issue with the nursery not to inform you of other bugs going round. For goodness sake, give yourself a shake.

RoastedParnsip · 16/12/2021 09:23

YABU. You knew he was to unwell to go. Yet you put yourself before your poorly child. Selfish.

Original poster

Covidtrap · 16/12/2021 09:23

To those saying i shouldnt of even brought him in either. I know this but when u r alone u literally have no choice. My work have been more than helpful as of recently dropping hours for childcare numerous sickness and emergency leave from his dad letting him down or cancelling and it cant carry on as even work have said so i always try. Also where i work we are extremely short staffed at the minute and i always feel guilty letting them down my point is if i had of had notice of a bug in the room i would of considered it may be a bug and not teething and of tried to sort out childcare.

OP posts:

Theyellowflamingo · 16/12/2021 09:25

You are massively unreasonable and irresponsible to take a child with high fever and a host of symptoms of illness to nursery. Even in the pre covid era. They are absolutely right to refuse to take him, vomiting bug going round or not.

I was notified of chicken pox, but not anything else- they’d have been notifying daily all winter if they notified people of sickness bugs.

Stevenage689 · 16/12/2021 09:25

No. There is a short list of notifiable illnesses. Vomiting bugs are not one.

santasmuma · 16/12/2021 09:26

Also where i work we are extremely short staffed at the minute and i always feel guilty letting them down my point is
if i had of had notice of a bug in the room i would of considered it may be a bug and not teething and of tried to sort out childcare.

This makes absolutely no sense. You knew your child was ill. This is on you, not the nursery. I understand it's difficult being a single parent but ultimately you put your child's well-being above 'letting people down'

Summerfun54321 · 16/12/2021 09:27

I know this but when u r alone u literally have no choice.

What are all the choices the rest of us have then? Working parents and ill children = time off work and pissed off employers. Everyone who has children and works has a point in their career like this, you can’t avoid it.

BatshitBanshee · 16/12/2021 09:27

@Covidtrap

OP if you feel more guilty about letting your workplace down than sending your very poorly child to nursery, you've got a bigger problem.

Lots of people manage to decipher whether their child is too sick for nursery without knowing what other sicknesses they may have been exposed to in the last few days. Runny nose, temperature, lethargic, not eating, loose nappies - and just over covid. It's not rocket science.

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