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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should nursery of notified me?

103 replies

Covidtrap · 16/12/2021 08:46

Got turned away from the door at nursery this morning (on my way to work) as son has been unwell, high fever, a bit lethargic, not eating and loose nappies x2 over two days. I put all this down to teething as he has had very similar in the past also he has runny nose and dribbling alot, biting etc. I didnt want to send him in but i am a lone parent basically his dad only has him one day a week and when i asked if he could take him as i didnt want him im nursery he refused to take time off work and i have no carers leave left due to him having covid, previous sickness etc. Anyway they tell me we cant take him in as have had a vomiting bug in his room since monday? Shouldnt i of been notified via their app or email as i always thought hes just teething but hasnt been himself. They also did the same with an outbreak of foot and mouth. I travelled back to my home country a day later i notice blisters etc and took him to aed as i didnt know what it was at the time. I then get an email a few days later saying theyve had foot and mouth in his room for over two weeks new cases. Shouldnt u be notified if theres even one just to be mindful and keep an eye out? Also had i of known about vomiting bug i may of been able to make arangements or try and swap shifts

OP posts:
Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 16/12/2021 22:05

@santasmuma

Sure but everyone who knows that grammatical rule would have known I was wrong for years. I would rather be right/speak properly.

Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 16/12/2021 22:05

@PAFMO

On what grounds?

Bubblty · 16/12/2021 22:09

You sent him in with a high fever?! Why?! You're so selfish. If all those kids now have a fever they all have to do PCR tests. Oh and on top of that they will have a fever.

And then you complain no one told you their kids were ill!

liveforsummer · 16/12/2021 22:10

If there is a major outbreak of something then nursery will normally inform you. One or 2 cases they won't. Sorry im a lone working parent too so I know how difficult it is but you cannot expect to drop your dc off with the symptoms you describe. They need to be at home.

liveforsummer · 16/12/2021 22:12

@Stevenage689

No. There is a short list of notifiable illnesses. Vomiting bugs are not one.
Neither is HFM for that matter. There are no exclusion guidance for it and it's not notifiable. Often they'll let you know if a major outbreak but definitely don't have to
Bubblty · 16/12/2021 22:16

Also how would you feel if you felt that shit and just wanted to cuddle or whatever and instead get dropped off in a noisy environment away from your main caregiver?

Bubblty · 16/12/2021 22:17

A sniffle yeah I get it. A fever and being lethargic no way.

SunLovingMummy · 16/12/2021 22:42

Agree with previous poster. While you should HAVE been notified certainly if four and mouth, you’re also somewhat guilty of trying to drop off an ill child. If fewer people did this, there may well be fewer illnesses caught in nursery.

Having been a single parent myself, and in another country so no family back up, it is worth while trying to save some endrfency money to pay for emergency child care. Try to find out about people in your area who offer this, often via nanny websites and babysitting services. Make contact with a few, even ask to interview, so you have some potential back up for future instances.

Somethingsnappy · 16/12/2021 22:58

Ah, @SunLovingMummy, another poster keen to be seen to correct the OP's grammar, whilst their own post is packed with typos and SPAG errors.

LoveMyPiano · 16/12/2021 23:38

@PAFMO

(I reported both of you, by the way)
I make a lot of typos, I admit..... My laptop came back from a repair with more problems than it went in with. And I am usually typing in the dark wthout an illuminated keyboard..... But generally speaking, I don't make grammatical errors, and the "of/have" use is a major peeve of mine. As I said, it seems to be synonymous with stupidity; as the content of the original - almost unreadable - post proved. Report away my friend. I do not care at all.
Bunnycat101 · 17/12/2021 01:33

Ours let’s us know with a sign on the door and emails. You shouldn’t be trying to take a child into nursery with a high fever. Ours still temp checks at the door each morning and will keep that going now as it’s much better for everyone to not allow a feverish child in the door.

High fever can’t be attributed to teething. Mine used to be a bit warmer but never more than 38. If a child is hitting 39 plus they’re sick.

Somethingsnappy · 17/12/2021 09:58

@LoveMyPiano. Thank you for your post. It's good to know that you consider yourself vastly superior to others, who may not have been fortunate enough to have had access to your splendid education. What a shame that you didn't learn a little kindness along the way.

KarmaStar · 17/12/2021 10:45

Op,you were bvu to remove your dc from his bed and take him out whilst he is I'll and you must know that.Of course it's difficult but your child's welfare must come first.
Point out to child's father that if he won't help out more you'll be unable to work and he will have to pick up the shortfall in pay.It is a joint responsibility not yours alone.
I hope your dc is feeling much better

Original poster
Covidtrap · 17/12/2021 14:04

To some posters thank you for ur understanding. For others theres no need to be so downright ignorent and rude in ur replies like calling me selfish. I of course want to stay at home and cuddle my son and love him to pieces but when u r the main care provider and work are always up ur back and u worry what if u lose ur job how much more will they take then what life will my son have then. Everything is a weighing act. He didnt have a temp the morning of nursery it was the day before and i stayed off with him and he was fine all day playing just didnt eat much but no fever or vomiting or fatigue. If i could afford too trust me i would be with my son every day. Also i now have a d+v bug myself presumabely caught from him. So im sure alot of you will be rejoicing in this saying i deserve it because that seems to be the type of place this has turned into. Not everyone thinks the same and thats okay hence we come here for opinions but there are nicer ways of saying it!

OP posts:
LoveMyPiano · 17/12/2021 19:10

[quote Somethingsnappy]@LoveMyPiano. Thank you for your post. It's good to know that you consider yourself vastly superior to others, who may not have been fortunate enough to have had access to your splendid education. What a shame that you didn't learn a little kindness along the way.[/quote]
I will consider myself duly reprimanded; although I don't think I said anything about beng "vastly superior". In fact, in some aspects, I am vey INferior. But in education of any level (and mine was definitley not "splendid", even the most basicEnglish is taught at a level that would encourage the correct use of the words "should HAVE, would HAVE, could HAVE" - using "of" instead of "have" is probably very litttle to do with education, but more with the current changes - and dumbing down - of the way we communicate. As I have already said.

And I am very kind, generally. Pointing this out was not unkind, unless someone is spectaculalry thin-skinned.

LoveMyPiano · 17/12/2021 19:11

Many typos in that post - oops Grin

SantaHat · 17/12/2021 19:15

Also i now have a d+v bug myself presumabely caught from him

And that is exactly why posters are saying you shouldn’t have taken him in. Because he could have given it to all the other children and their families.

PainterMummy · 17/12/2021 20:48

Hey OP. Have you heard about childcare.co.uk? I’ve used them in the past to find child care fairly last minute when I couldn’t take my DC to nursery. Would really be helpful to you as a single mum to build a list of back up child care options.

I agree that the nursery should have told you about certain highly contagious and/unusual illnesses like the foot and mouth.

Somethingsnappy · 17/12/2021 21:20

@LoveMyPiano, whether pointing it out is unkind or not is a matter for debate. Calling the OP 'stupid', on the other hand, is inarguably very unkind. So if you're not like that in real life, is it just on an anonymous forum that this side of you emerges?

LoveMyPiano · 17/12/2021 22:32

[quote Somethingsnappy]@LoveMyPiano, whether pointing it out is unkind or not is a matter for debate. Calling the OP 'stupid', on the other hand, is inarguably very unkind. So if you're not like that in real life, is it just on an anonymous forum that this side of you emerges?[/quote]
I more generally said that it is synonymous with stupidity. I did not call the OP stupid. Taking her sick child to nursery was, arguably, stupid. And unkind to the child.

Somethingsnappy · 17/12/2021 22:46

@LoveMyPiano. You said that the OP's grammar mistakes were synonymous with stupidity, and proven by the content (etc) of her post. I don't think I've misinterpreted your meaning there. It was pretty clear.

Somethingsnappy · 17/12/2021 22:50

OP, no rejoicing here. I'm sorry you're feeling ill. It's wretched looking after a poorly toddler when you're feeling awful yourself. I hope you both recover quickly.

LoveMyPiano · 17/12/2021 23:10

[quote Somethingsnappy]@LoveMyPiano. You said that the OP's grammar mistakes were synonymous with stupidity, and proven by the content (etc) of her post. I don't think I've misinterpreted your meaning there. It was pretty clear.[/quote]
You havent misREAD, but I did not call her stupid. But, as I do, I have also elaborated on my general understanding of why this particular grammatical/spelling "error" has evolved.

However, to quote Forrest, "Stupid is as stupid does" Smile

Somethingsnappy · 17/12/2021 23:17

@LoveMyPiano. I'm sorry, are you actually trying to correct me now? 'Misinterpret' was used perfectly correctly there. Misread and misinterpret have separate meanings.

LoveMyPiano · 17/12/2021 23:23

[quote Somethingsnappy]@LoveMyPiano. I'm sorry, are you actually trying to correct me now? 'Misinterpret' was used perfectly correctly there. Misread and misinterpret have separate meanings.[/quote]
I don't think you misREAD - but yes, I DO think that you have misinterpreted whether or not I was actually calling her stupid. In fact, I was careful not to.

And I am only trying to "correct" your misunderstanding Smile

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