Page 2 | Should nursery of notified me?

Covidtrap · 2021-12-16T08:46:18+00:00

Got turned away from the door at nursery this morning (on my way to work) as son has been unwell, high fever, a bit lethargic, not eating and loose nappies x2 over two days. I put all this down to teething as he has had very similar in the past also he has runny nose and dribbling alot, biting etc. I didnt want to send him in but i am a lone parent basically his dad only has him one day a week and when i asked if he could take him as i didnt want him im nursery he refused to take time off work and i have no carers leave left due to him having covid, previous sickness etc. Anyway they tell me we cant take him in as have had a vomiting bug in his room since monday? Shouldnt i of been notified via their app or email as i always thought hes just teething but hasnt been himself. They also did the same with an outbreak of foot and mouth. I travelled back to my home country a day later i notice blisters etc and took him to aed as i didnt know what it was at the time. I then get an email a few days later saying theyve had foot and mouth in his room for over two weeks new cases. Shouldnt u be notified if theres even one just to be mindful and keep an eye out? Also had i of known about vomiting bug i may of been able to make arangements or try and swap shifts

hotmeatymilk · 16/12/2021 09:29

Hmmm, our nursery does let us know when hand foot and mouth, vomiting bugs, etc, are going around – largely so parents don’t bring sick kids in thinking “oh, it’s teething” or “oh, it’s just a one-off puke” or whatever. So not unreasonable to want nursery to alert through the app that there’s a bug.

But MASSIVELY unreasonable to bring a poorly child in – unfair on the kid, unfair on the staff, unfair on the other kids who’ll catch it.

shouldistop · 16/12/2021 09:31

Op I'm sorry you're struggling but your child is unwell and clearly shouldn't be in nursery. There's no evidence that teething causes a fever, plenty of evidence that infections cause fevers.

Serendipity79 · 16/12/2021 09:35

This drives me bananas. The amount of times I see parents dropping kids off who simply aren't fit to be in school/nursery. It is really hard being a single parent and not having a back up plan, but kids get sick - and its not fair to send them in while poorly, making it the nurseries responsibility to look after them and potentially passing it onto a room full of other children, I'm not surprised they refused to take them!

You're saying if you knew there was a bug you might have thought about not sending him and re-jigged work - so you could have done this purely on the basis that he's poorly, even without knowing there was a sickness bug? Loose nappies, lethargy and fever aren't signs of teething, they're signs of illness. IMO opinion nurseries should tell parents about outbreaks of infectious illness, and equally parents shouldn't send sick children in to infect others.

And I'm very surprised that a child who had Covid 3 weeks ago now has a negative PCR - you aren't supposed to test again for a certain number of months as the results not reliable - didn't they tell you that when you went for the test?

anon12345678901 · 16/12/2021 09:35

If you knew he was sick, he shouldn't have been going to nursery anyway, so then telling you wouldn't make a difference. It's hard being a single mum, I am one, but it's one of those things. Kids get sick.

Snoken · 16/12/2021 09:36

It doesn't matter if they told you or not. You knew your child was sick, so if you needed to go into work you would have had to arrange alternative childcare anyway. It's not right that you tried to drop him off when he clearly is unwell. It's not up to the nursery to look after sick children so that you can work. You need a plan b if you can't be at home with your child when they are sick.

mistermagpie · 16/12/2021 09:36

You shouldn't have been trying to send a child in with those symptoms and you should probably have been booking him a PCR (although I know you don't have to, I personally would). I get that you're struggling but so are lots of the other parents of children at nursery probably, and sending a sick child in is completely unreasonable.

As to weather they should have informed you, I don't think they have to. Our nursery lets us know sometimes as a courtesy but that's all.

girlmom21 · 16/12/2021 09:41

i would of considered it may be a bug and not teething and of tried to sort out childcare.

You said you had no choice but now you could have tried to sort out childcare - so in future try to sort out childcare.

You're risking making loads of children poorly right on Christmas because alternative childcare was a bit of a hassle and you're a bit busy at work. That's horrible.
M

santasmuma · 16/12/2021 09:41

You shouldn't have been trying to send a child in with those symptoms and you should probably have been booking him a PCR

No, OP should not have booked a PCR as the child had covid 3 weeks ago. OP did however book a PCR which came back negative

girlmom21 · 16/12/2021 09:43

@santasmuma

You shouldn't have been trying to send a child in with those symptoms and you should probably have been booking him a PCR

No, OP should not have booked a PCR as the child had covid 3 weeks ago. OP did however book a PCR which came back negative

I don't believe she did a PCR as her complaint is there's been a bug in his room since Monday. If they were waiting on a PCR result he wouldn't have been at nursery so couldn't have caught the bug anyway.

mistermagpie · 16/12/2021 09:45

Sorry missed the bit about him having Covid, my bad.

Rosebel · 16/12/2021 09:53

If your son was at nursery with mine and my son got sick I'd be really pissed off, especially right on Christmas.
I get it about work, I really do. I've been had a go at about having time off for my son. I've had to let them down when they are incredibly busy because my son comes first. My son will always come before work.
I've also been a nursery nurse and it's really not on when parents bring sick children in. They don't want to interact and need 1:1 attention, meaning the other staff are thinly stretched looking after the well children.
An ill child needs his parents and cuddles.
Also tell his dad to step up. He has a responsibility to his child too.

Wolfiefan · 16/12/2021 09:54

You tried to take a sick child to nursery YABU.
Even if the nursery tell you there is illness going round that doesn’t mean you child will get it. They can’t give you advance notice of when your child will be ill.
Plus your childcare issues aren’t their problem. Nor is your waste of space ex.

sofakingcool · 16/12/2021 10:10

We don't notify of stomach bugs, hand foot and mouth etc unless there have been several cases.

You were very unreasonable to send in a poorly child into nursery. I know how hard it is to be a single parent (I was there once) but it isn't fair on the other children or staff. More children catch it, more businesses struggling with staffing issues!

Katela18 · 16/12/2021 10:24

Sorry I have to agree with others.
As far as I'm aware nursery don't have to notify, as parents it's our responsibility to only take our children in when they are well enough.
Several of the symptoms you list are reason for him to be off nursery. And while I understand and appreciate it's hugely inconvenient (have a 2 year old, dad works away, no family near by to help) it's not the nurseries problem and taking him in is unfair to him and also puts other children at risk.

rosesinmygarden · 16/12/2021 10:29

@Covidtrap

To those saying i shouldnt of even brought him in either. I know this but when u r alone u literally have no choice. My work have been more than helpful as of recently dropping hours for childcare numerous sickness and emergency leave from his dad letting him down or cancelling and it cant carry on as even work have said so i always try. Also where i work we are extremely short staffed at the minute and i always feel guilty letting them down my point is if i had of had notice of a bug in the room i would of considered it may be a bug and not teething and of tried to sort out childcare.

Lots of places are short staffed right now. Possibly because people are going into work ill or sending their kids to school/nursery when ill. This means illness spreads and other people have to take time off work just because you feel the rules don't apply to single parents.

I'm sure you didn't think about it like that, but maybe next time, stop and consider the effects of your actions on others.

I'm currently on my second week of feeling really unwell because a family sent their child in with COVID symptoms. They had done a lateral flow test and assumed the negative result was correct and didn't want their child to 'miss out'.

TheSnowyOwl · 16/12/2021 10:29

Nursery don’t need to inform you but can’t you see that regardless of what you think is the cause (and I don’t think it’s is teething) that your child was not well enough for nursery?

DroopyClematis · 16/12/2021 10:35

@Covidtrap

To those saying i shouldnt of even brought him in either. I know this but when u r alone u literally have no choice. My work have been more than helpful as of recently dropping hours for childcare numerous sickness and emergency leave from his dad letting him down or cancelling and it cant carry on as even work have said so i always try. Also where i work we are extremely short staffed at the minute and i always feel guilty letting them down my point is if i had of had notice of a bug in the room i would of considered it may be a bug and not teething and of tried to sort out childcare.

But you CANNOT send a sick child to nursery . Why should everyone else's child be infected by your child?

Thefuturestory · 16/12/2021 10:40

I understand OP. You thought your child was under weather because of teething and without knowing about the bug that’s what you put it down to.

If the nursery had sent a general communication out saying we have had a bug going around. Please do not send child until 48hrs after last sickness/loose bowel motion. Then you could have let work know in advance as you’d have realised it wasn’t just teething.

It’s crap you have no alternative childcare or support and feel you need to send a child who might not be 100% to nursery but it’s a learning curve and does get easier.

Justmebeingme245 · 16/12/2021 10:45

I used to work in a nursery and it was absolutely astounding the amount of parents who thought it was OK to bring their clearly sick child in.

I’m a single mum also and I wasn’t paid for being off sick. We had one child who was throwing up everywhere and I had to sit with the child for 2 hours because the parent said they were working and couldn’t leave!

Inevitably I also got it and so did my children and then the nursery was short staffed.

Don’t take your children to nursery when they are ill- it is not fair on them, the other children or the staff.

Justmebeingme245 · 16/12/2021 10:49

Also - just to mention. My daughter is type one diabetic and if she gets a sickness bug - it’s an absolute nightmare to control her blood sugar.

So because some “parent” refused to leave work for 2 hours, I was ill and up all night for 2 days fighting a losing battle with my child’s blood sugar.
It makes me so angry.

Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 16/12/2021 10:50

Your attitude is why other people’s children get sick at nursery ffs. I would be raging if my child got sick because you knew yours was and took them in anyway!

GoodPrincessWenceslas · 16/12/2021 10:51

To those saying i shouldnt have even brought him in either. I know this but when u r alone u literally have no choice.

But taking your potentially infectious child in to infect other children simply isn't a choice that's open to you. I know how incredibly difficult it is, but you're blaming the wrong people. Blame your useless ex, if anyone. Are you getting child maintenance from him?

santasmuma · 16/12/2021 10:52

I understand OP. You thought your child was under weather because of teething and without knowing about the bug that’s what you put it down to.

If the nursery had sent a general communication out saying we have had a bug going around. Please do not send child until 48hrs after last sickness/loose bowel motion. Then you could have let work know in advance as you’d have realised it wasn’t just teething.

It doesn't matter if it's 'just teething' or not. The child is not well. The child should not be going anywhere

Somethingsnappy · 16/12/2021 11:11

@Stormwhale

It is a complete, and dangerous myth that teething causes a fever. Fever is the body's response to a pathogen, so bacteria or virus. If your child has a fever, they are unwell. There is no reason for teething to cause a fever, as the body does not need to fight anything off. A fever means the body is trying to kill off a virus or bacterial infection.

The NHS advise that teething can cause a raised temperature, but only a mild one. As this poster points out, it won't cause a high fever, which would be a sign of illness. I can understand why this may cause confusion though.

As hard as it is though, the work/childcare situation is a problem that all working parents have to deal with and comes with the territory of having children. It's not fair on your child to send them in so clearly unwell, or the other children and their parents.

Heyho, it's all a learning curve OP!

Stevenage689 · 16/12/2021 11:28

@Thefuturestory

I understand OP. You thought your child was under weather because of teething and without knowing about the bug that’s what you put it down to.

If the nursery had sent a general communication out saying we have had a bug going around. Please do not send child until 48hrs after last sickness/loose bowel motion. Then you could have let work know in advance as you’d have realised it wasn’t just teething.

It’s crap you have no alternative childcare or support and feel you need to send a child who might not be 100% to nursery but it’s a learning curve and does get easier.

The nursery will already have told parents not to send children in until 48 hours after sickness or diarrhea. They shouldn't need to tell parents again.