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AIBU?

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Original poster

No school for you today then?

331 replies

DinosaurStompGrrrr · 15/12/2021 21:59

Today in the bank I was waiting with my DC and the man in front of us turns round to us and says to us ‘No school today for you then?’

DC term has finished (yes, private school) but when I said they were on holiday, I was told that it was ‘generous’ of the school. Innocuous comment on the one hand but I still responded ‘no work for you today then?’. I just felt he would not have said this to a man on his own. It felt like he wanted to just put his view even if unwelcome or unnecessary…

OP posts:
MrsDThomas · 16/12/2021 08:12

Be nice OP.

You will be old yourself one day and perhaps you will like that chitchat as you may not speak to many people.

PinkWednesdays · 16/12/2021 08:13

[quote lollipoprainbow]@DinosaurStompGrrrr no one gives a shit about your child's private education. You are way too oversensitive![/quote]
This. It’s MN, half the children are privately educated! I was privately educated, so was DH and so will DS when he starts school. It really isn’t a special status that you keep banging on about OP, and so no, that isn’t blurring anyone’s vision here…

Porcupineintherough · 16/12/2021 08:14

A commoner dared to pass a remark? How very dare he. Perhaps your pedigree was not sufficiently on show?

SamhainToImbolc · 16/12/2021 08:14

It's not always a negative when someone asks that question.

We home educate (both DC are autistic, couldn't cope with school). We had someone ask us that same question and when we told her no we HE she said she had done too, and had loads of books and stuff if we wanted them, as they'd finished with them. So you never know really what someone's thinking when they ask. They may actually be interested in what your children are learning.

Happy1982ish · 16/12/2021 08:14

* Maybe I am just sensitive then. *

Understatement

Please hide this shadow seeking side from your children. Otherwise they’re going to grow in to adults that also see shadows in many exchanges and scenarios

What a depressing way to live

Livpool · 16/12/2021 08:15

He wasn't challenging you - just making conversation.

JustDanceAddict · 16/12/2021 08:16

Wow! I think he was making conversation.
I have had this a few times and just said, school’s closed today/holiday/ etc.

lollipoprainbow · 16/12/2021 08:17

OP one has to ask why you were listening jn to his private banking transaction Hmm

SethWho · 16/12/2021 08:19

@lollipoprainbow

OP one has to ask why you were listening jn to his private banking transaction Hmm
I doubt she was. Just furiously back pedaling!
NinaDefoe · 16/12/2021 08:20

Just read your update.

Get over yourself.

Nobody gives a damn if your child is in private education and has long holidays.

There are a whole number of reasons why this man said what he said and I’d put money on ‘private education’ not being one of them.

BoardingSchoolMater · 16/12/2021 08:20

@DinosaurStompGrrrr My DC have been right the way through the independent school system from age 4, and I'm in my 20somethingth year of school fees, so no gripes or double standards from me on that score.

However, you were still rude, and you were teaching your DC to be rude to someone who was merely making idle/banal conversation. Your 'double standards' comment makes it sound as if you might yourself have a slight chip on your shoulder about your DC being independently educated.

Whoever it was upthread who said the man was a "nosey fucker" is worse, though.

CaptainMyCaptain · 16/12/2021 08:21

@LubaLuca

It's a standard way to make polite conversation with a child. It wasn't a way to find out about your school choice or how much of a skiver your son is. Some adults genuinely like to talk to children.
I agree. People these days seem so touchy about anyone speaking to them or their child.
LadyCatStark · 16/12/2021 08:21

@pinkstripeycat

I like your response 😂 . I’d have said they go to a private school so have longer holidays than state school, we PAY for our children’s education (just to be snobby and make him raise his eyebrows)
Well that would be a twatty thing to say!

It’s just idle chit chat. In fact I (a woman) said the same to a child who was playing out on our street at half term.

Me: ooh no school today?
Child: no we get 2 weeks off.
Me: oh lucky you have fun 😊

AnkleDeep · 16/12/2021 08:26

Severe over reaction, OP. Just a passing comment.

Luminousnose · 16/12/2021 08:27

Another one here who thinks you were entirely over-reacting.

Please hide this shadow seeking side from your children. Otherwise they’re going to grow in to adults that also see shadows in many exchanges and scenarios

What a depressing way to live

I’m afraid I agree with this.

Wheelz46 · 16/12/2021 08:28

People do need to be careful when making comments about children not being in school.

My friends child had to attend numerous hospital appointments so her child was often not in school and as a single parent still had to call at shops etc. If someone had said the same, she might have burst into tears. So what might seem like friendly chat could inadvertently cause distress.

ClaudiaJ1 · 16/12/2021 08:29

@DroopyClematis

Many shops, banks etc used to get told term dates so as to keep an eye out for truants. Maybe the man was just doing that.

Outdated , I know but I remember that our McDonalds used to check term dates and would refuse to sell to a pupil during term time during the day.

@DroopyClematis But what if a child was homeschooled? Not all children go to a physical school. Some are performing arts who have a tutor, some may be on holiday from a different state or country. It sounds weird that McDonalds assumes every child actually goes to a physical school, and/or is not a visitor to the area/country.
hangrylady · 16/12/2021 08:29

Oh my God seriously! There are many things to get offended about but a man making polite chat is not one of them. As for your comment that he wouldn't say it to a man, well he didn't say it to a woman either, he was talking to your child Confused

FissionMailed · 16/12/2021 08:30

Some people send their kids private so the kids get a good education, seems some send their kids private so they can show orf to the commoners in queues.

Pamsresearch · 16/12/2021 08:31

Jesus wept. He was just passing the time day whilst waiting in the bank.

100problems · 16/12/2021 08:35

This wasn't even a molehill before you upgraded it to a mountain, built a resort and chair lift and opened a ski school.

DroopyClematis · 16/12/2021 08:36

@ClaudiaJ1
Like I said, it's outdated now and couldn't be applied these days.
Maybe the man in the bank just forgot himself.

Hoppinggreen · 16/12/2021 08:39

My son is 13 but looks 16 now. When he was 3 and we were out and about we were asked VERY regularly if he had “no school today”
I managed not to get offended once

mellicauli · 16/12/2021 08:39

Nice that the private school system seems

Cocomarine · 16/12/2021 08:40

Ah, the old, “well I can’t be bothered to respond to the sensible posts, which I’ll blame on time, but I do very much have time to post some ridiculous half arsed excuse about else having a chip on their shoulder about my private school choice” post 🤣

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