To think that everyone knows when Christmas is, so should get their act together with regards presents

[saltirehangingonachristmastree]

I started a thread the other day about how MIL, PIla nd step MIL, DB, SIL and BIL, DH's nans etc were all sending money for ours and the DSes Christmas " because it's so expensive to post things". At this moment in time most of it hasn't appeared yet. I told Step MIL on the phone last night that if the money/vouchers hadn't arrived by todays post them DH or I were not going to go out and buy things for teh DSes from them, they could wait till after Christmas.
Step MIl told me we were being selfish, and that teh whole point of Christmas was for children tog et presents and what would the DSes think if they didn't have any from them . She then went on to say that she was posting their cheque off on Saturday. She couldn't do it the weekend past as she was away to her neices with presents for them. DH then said to me "we'll just go out and get something". Well no, I don't see why we should. We don't know how much they are sending, and I've struggled to get things for the DSes as it is without having to get more, PLus get presents for each other from everyone else as well
I'm just really annoyed that all the pressure to buy more things from family and wrap them etc is being put on me.

I completely understand your last point. However, I think I'm a bit confused. Are you saying that because you've yet to receive other peoples presents/gifts whatever you won't send yours?

YANBU. I hate it when people expect me to do their shopping for them. I also hate people who continually phone up asking what we all want. Can't they think of their own ideas? I don't want presents I have thought of myself anyway.

I sympathise with you and if people have the money then yes I agree with you.

Myself and dh have only had last weeks and this weeks wage [not until Friday] so we are running very late in regard to buying presents.

Unfortunately he was unemployed previous to this so we had no alternative.

Oh no, we sent all ours by courier in two boxes which cost us £14 . I think thats a good price to pay, and told everyone else (mils, DB etc) all to get togehter and use a courier to send parcels for our house, but they didn't. No what I was saying was that everyone is saying they are sending money for ours and DSes Christmas and want us to go and buy something and wrap it from them. However none of it has reallt tunred up, in fact some hasn't even been posted, and I don't want to start trailing th shops, especially since I'm working and DH can't do it as he has the DSes.

don't blame you at all for this saltire

stick to your guns you are not being unreasonable at all

They are being lazy. Its not as though Christmas has been sprung upon them with 2 days notice

Personally I HATE having to do other people's shopping for them (esp at last minute as I do all of mine in Nov - anally retentive that I am).

Stick to your guns, if they can't be arsed to send the money in time then I don't blame you in the slightest to go out and buy things - plus how are you supposed to 'guess' what to spend? They could be sending £10 or £100

Am on your behalf!

Blimey, I misread your first post too and was going to say yabu but they actually want you to buy the presents for your own kids and they will at some point send vouchers .
Of course you shouldn't go out and buy them now. How irritating having to buy the gifts yourself.

So, no, yanbu.

no yanbu, it isnt aot to ask, esp when this money is for kids, and ITS CHRISTMAS ffs.

Will the dc's relaise they havent anything on xmas day?, willthey understand that youwill be going out after xmas to doa special shop?

I'd save whatever arrives and let kids choose stuff in sales. If they can't even be bothered to send a token wrapped gift or use Amazon etc and even then not send the money early enough, sod 'em.

Saltire I get this as well.
It sucks but I have just come to expect it from my family. Plus they live in rural Morayshire so their shopping choices are McKenzie and Cruikshanks the Ironmongers, VG, and a clothes shop with yellow cellophane on the windows.
So, tedious though it is, it's probably for the best. What I dislike is the total lack of thought - it's not like, I thought you might like some money for books, so here's a cheque, it's just, och I don't know, have some money. Job done.

totally unfair on their part, but think of the fun after xmas for your sons being able to choose stuff for themselves (well, if they are old enough too and you are hapy with that at least).

very selfish of them tho to leave it so late and still expect you to buy the gifts!

if they haven't sent anythng tho, and your kiddies don't have anything to open from them, then the kiddies don't have to write thankyous do they! how will that go down, will the inlaws get funny about lack of thankyous??? If so, you can tell them straight......you don't send anything in time for xmas, how can you be thanked!

won't do it again will they.

mind, my family are so thick skinned would not even occur to them that this is in any way selfish, unfair and odd behaviour. some people just don't see things the way 'we' do.

agree with hatrick.

YANBU but I assume they're not coming to yours on christmas day so wouldn't have a clue if their were presents from them or not so juts don't say anything.

Plus the ds' will get more in the sales

How old are your ds' will they enjoy getting their own bits after christmas? You could play it that way. Say to relatives that as they are now older(if they are) then they will love getting bits for themselves in the sales so you will do that. And you'll make sure that they know granny gave them £10 or whatever so they know how they bought all the things IYSWIM

Definately NBU though

They do send the cheques in time though.

I would be tempted not to send any presents next year and post vouchers on the 19th for them as well

They are 9 and 7. DH is of the opinion that we should just go and get something so at least they can say to Granny/Papa/Auntie x anduncle Y "thank you for so and so", also he has this thing about not hurting anyones feelings, adn me telling step MIL that we aren't going to get naything and wrap it up etc is "upsetting the apple cart".

pmsl @ yellow sellophane on windows.

Saltire I think the waiting for the sales thing is best. You don't know how much they are sending (although might have a good idea on past form, I suppose) and if your step MIL sends a cheque on Saturday it will not arrive until after Christmas, and then it will need cashing, so probably the earliest you could do that would be Friday, so it won't be cleared until into January.

Plus, Salty, the shops round here at the moment are VILE - have you been down to Gunwharf?! Hideous. I have to go today to pick up some bits my sister wants for my niece

Wait till the Sales - still vile but cheaper!

OR you could say "well, sadly the things that the children really wanted are out of stock now as we've had to wait so long for the money"

LOL at lapin's passive aggressive response. Fantastic.

Wait for the sales and let the DSs pick for themselves. If you really want to compromise with your DH then you could buy them a pair of socks each and wrap up from your ILs .

Good Lord, how horrendous. A lot of relatives used to send me money when I was younger but for a start they always sent it to me, not to my parents, and always in plenty of time. The excitement of a crisp $10 note from America, the grown-upness of a cheque with my own name on it, and having my own building society account! Even when very young those were exciting things and started me on a lifelong career as a spendthrift. Anyway, I have no idea what you can do about this, but how weird, what on earth makes them think this is OK??