To not make DD rewrite her cards for her teachers?

[ChristmasCardDyslexia]

DD is 7, year 3.

She is quite badly dyslexic and struggles with reading and writing.

She’s tried really hard to write her Christmas Cards this year (last year I wrote them and she signed then she wanted to do them all this year). The last two she did are for the Deputy Head/Senco and her class teacher.

Her writing is wobbly, bigger and smaller in some parts but she worked so hard on them and is really excited to give them out tomorrow.

ExH thinks I should make her re-write the teachers cards “neater” because it shows I don’t care or watch her writing (I did, I helped her spell names and words). I think they won’t care and will see how much effort she’s put in. When she finished she looked exhausted but was so proud of herself – we’ve been writing them in batches of 3-4 cards for over a week.

So AIBU? Or do I need to make her rewrite them?

So your ex wants her to rewrite the cards but wants you to be the bad guy. Does he normally get you to impose the sanctions he thinks up? Would he do it for you? As a dyslexic I still recall my father ripping up my homework so I had to repeat it. And I was well aware I was having to waste my time to satisfy someone else’s ego. Don’t be that parent OP x

My son can't really write so I bought him a stamper with his name on it and he stamped his cards with massive enthusiasm

You do what's right for you

@HattieBlue

My 6yr old has written her cards and the teachers names are phonetically (SP?) spelt. I have just said well done and sent them in. The teachers will much prefer that to someone standing over a kid making them write something in a "perfect" way. They know how hard writing is for your DD so these will be extra special!

At least he is proving why you should be glad he is an Ex!!

This reminds me of the pile of mysteriously addressed cards we used to have on the staffroom table that we would try to identify and get to the right class/ child. One really puzzled us all for days until a teacher pounced on it and claimed it as her own.

In wonky lowercase “mismif” aka Miss Smith.

She did her best and she is proud and that is all that matters.

Your ex is a gimp.

I showed her father in a "look how hard she's tried" kind of way expecting him to say "Oh thats great well done" but he just told me to get her to rewrite them.

Her teacher is fantastic always has something positive to say about DD and she also really likes the DHT/Senco who works with her a lot and always tells me how "funny and lovely" DD is.

But I was a bit worried they'd both think I didn't appreciate them enough to write the cards myself and get DD to sign them. She was so keen though "When do I get to write the cards for Mrs Jones and Mrs Smith mum?" sort of thing

I’m a teacher, and I still have 7 year old David’s card that says

Fank you for teaching me spelling and uvr fings

He’s 38 now, but that card meant a lot to me.

No she definitely shouldn't rewrite them. What a horrible message that would send that her absolute best efforts aren't good enough. Ex sounds awful.

@ChristmasCardDyslexia

I showed her father in a "look how hard she's tried" kind of way expecting him to say "Oh thats great well done" but he just told me to get her to rewrite them.

Her teacher is fantastic always has something positive to say about DD and she also really likes the DHT/Senco who works with her a lot and always tells me how "funny and lovely" DD is.

But I was a bit worried they'd both think I didn't appreciate them enough to write the cards myself and get DD to sign them. She was so keen though "When do I get to write the cards for Mrs Jones and Mrs Smith mum?" sort of thing

So now you’ve learned not to show him things. Because he doesn’t have the same priorities as you.

Listen to the teachers here and send the cards just as they are. And tell your Dd what a great job she did and how proud you are.

@ChristmasCardDyslexia

DD is 7, year 3.

She is quite badly dyslexic and struggles with reading and writing.

She’s tried really hard to write her Christmas Cards this year (last year I wrote them and she signed then she wanted to do them all this year). The last two she did are for the Deputy Head/Senco and her class teacher.

Her writing is wobbly, bigger and smaller in some parts but she worked so hard on them and is really excited to give them out tomorrow.

ExH thinks I should make her re-write the teachers cards “neater” because it shows I don’t care or watch her writing (I did, I helped her spell names and words). I think they won’t care and will see how much effort she’s put in. When she finished she looked exhausted but was so proud of herself – we’ve been writing them in batches of 3-4 cards for over a week.

So AIBU? Or do I need to make her rewrite them?

No please do not,it will knock her confidence massively ,praise her and tell her she did really well writing the cards.The teachers will not be scrutinising the writing of a 7 year old.My gcs xmas cards from his class all have simillar writing just like his,its all up down, big ,small letters.

I thought your wee girl must have written something rude in the cards! Of course she shouldn't rewrite them. Tell your ex to bog off. I still treasure the cards and messages written by the children in my class. The wonky spelling and handwriting just make them more adorable.

Your ex is a dick. Sadly you’re going to have to get used to standing up for your daughter to her other parent.

Don’t undermine your daughter’s hard work and effort by telling her it’s not good enough. Her teachers will appreciate how much effort she would’ve put into writing them.

Please dont make her rewrite them. Enthusiasm is worth its weight in gold.

Absolutely you shouldn’t get her to rewrite them. I love getting cards from kids with their wobbly childish writing in it, even the spelling mistakes are lovely because they remind you that it’s the child’s own work/effort. As opposed to a parent writing it all/coaching the child. Her teachers will be made up with the effort and thoughtfulness she’s out in.

Never re-do. A child's normal handwriting and spelling tells a teacher that the child did it for themselves - that's worth its weight in gold on the teacher satisfaction and happiness chart!! I'm sure her teachers will treasure them.

Oh no definitely no rewriting. Your ex sounds like my father who used to make us start again with our thank you letters if there was a single spelling mistake or crossing out. He also used to dictate what we had to write; natural childlike sentences were wrong apparently. Sometimes I'd be in tears wishing I could give the present back rather than sit through this long torturous process. Aarrrgghh!

Commend her enthusiasm and hard work!

My DD4 signed her name on all of her Christmas cards. Some of them, you can tell it's her name, and some of them you can't fully. On those ones, when she went to bed, I just wrote her name underneath.

Absolutely not. She’s worked hard on them. Huge difference between that and being sloppy / careless, where rewriting actually would be constructive.

Well done to your daughter. I struggle with writing and as a child being told off for something I couldn't help really knocked my confidence. I'm still massively self conscious now. She will improve with support and guidance not negativity. Let her proudly show her skills and if her teachers are good ones they will be proud of her too.

@NorthSouthcatlady

I have dyspraxia and dysgraphia, little point in me re-writing in best as l don’t have best handwriting! Different diagnoses l know but for me and your daughter writing is really hard! Give me a keyboard or laptop and lm fine but no by hand. So l vote no she doesn’t re-write them

Absolutely if anything the more I write the worse it gets 😬

My DDs is 9 and also severely dyslexic. Please don’t put her through the trauma of writing them again and the shame of thinking her work isn’t good enough, it would undermine her self esteem. Praise her efforts which her teachers will appreciate. PS, tell your DP from me that’s he’s a knob

Your ex is an abusive twat. I feel sorry for your DD that she has to engage with him.

He’s definitely a dick.

NO LEAVE HER ALONE! I was the poor dyslexic kid that was perpetually made to fucking rewrite cards and thank you notes and it was degrading and frustrating!

Exh is being a complete dick. It would be cruel to ask her to rewrite them.

I’m guessing you know he’s a dick and that’s why you divorced him!

Your exH is wrong. The last thing you want to do is overegg this pudding and risk putting her off the enjoyment of writing cards, and also letters, stories, poems. Exactly the opposite of what she needs right now.

So long as she put in the best effort she could manage on the day that is more than fine.

Anyway many adults will find that their writing goes off when writing a pile of cards. If it wasn't already appalling in the first place. No idea where my own beautiful schooldays handwriting went. There's a time for perfecting your child's handwriting and a time where the thought and the doing is enough.