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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there’s no way you can wipe your bum clean?

556 replies

crazykoo124 · 13/12/2021 04:17

Born in a mixed race family with a Middle Eastern mother, I was always taught to wash my downstairs with water after no 1s and 2s. We have a built in mini shower head thing to just spray our bums clean, and before that we used to have a jug sort of thing.

I’ve always wondered, do you genuinely think your bum is clean if you only wipe?

The way I see it, if someone dropped a few drops of urine or fecal matter on my flooring at home, I’d scrub it clean and atleast use some water. No way would I give it a wipe clean with a dry wad of tissue! So how can your skin be clean….

Am I missing something? Do you wet the tissue before use?

Sorry for the silly question! Have always wondered.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Sparklingbrook · 15/12/2021 07:51

It really is @Doingtheboxerbeat (cheers for today's ear worm by the way Grin)
Who needs cat poo in the garden or reclining seats on an aeroplane when you can have an AIBU about how clean you can get your arsehole?

getsanta · 15/12/2021 10:03

@Jobseeker19

If you research it says that using soap to wash your bits actually disturbs the natural PH. So water is fine and actually preferred.
Surely not for your bum? Agree on front bits (although I'm a rebel and soap there too), but the bum needs soap!
Lockheart · 15/12/2021 10:09

This thread has made the Daily Mail (of course).

vodkaredbullgirl · 15/12/2021 10:12

off to find the DM

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 15/12/2021 10:13

A really disgusting story I heard from a workmate was (maybe this is TMI) but was that when she was in bed with her new boyfriend, it might even have been the first time, they did the 69 position with him on top and his backside was filthy for precisely these reasons. She had a mucky backside in her face Xmas Shock

I don't know if she had a talk with him but she married (and later divorced) him, whether it was about his toileting habits I don't know.

TheVampiresWife · 15/12/2021 10:14

@Lockheart

This thread has made the Daily Mail (of course).
No shit.

(Pun intended)

Camilla2K · 15/12/2021 10:48

This is a cultural thing. I can see that washing with water may seem cleaner to those who do it, but then the same culture refuses to eat with their left hand because they wipe with it. Is that clean? Using your hand? Also: In cold countries n the winter, the loo is outdoors and not heated. Where would you get liquid water from? People had to use different tools, and this is where the cultural differences stem from. Different practises due to different conditions.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 15/12/2021 12:15

@Sparklingbrook

This thread has been going for 2 days now. Grin Two days of discussion about wiping your bum...
How very British! Grin
ElleGettingBetter · 15/12/2021 14:08

And it’s made it to the Daily Fail 🙄

OhPeeQueue · 15/12/2021 14:11

Of course it made the Daily fail. It’s the perfect outlet for racists wanting to share their disgust of “those” countries where people wash their bums and all their unhygienic habits 🙄.

RantyAunty · 15/12/2021 15:01

DM comment section is hilarious.
A couple favourites.

Use your fingers, write 111 on the wall.

Nettles make very good wipes, honest.

Raspberryrippleplease · 15/12/2021 15:14

I generally poop before I shower so I dry wipe and then wash in the shower with soap
If I don't need a full shower, I just use a cloth and soap and wash the area clean
I’ve never needed to poop in a place that’s not my own home so cleanliness isn’t an issue there

Risefromthedream · 15/12/2021 15:16

I would urge anyone with copious amounts of fecal matter on their backside to go see someone. It’s not normal. If your gut is functioning properly there should be virtually nothing on the piece of paper.

CounsellorTroi · 15/12/2021 15:26

@ImJustMadAboutSaffron

A really disgusting story I heard from a workmate was (maybe this is TMI) but was that when she was in bed with her new boyfriend, it might even have been the first time, they did the 69 position with him on top and his backside was filthy for precisely these reasons. She had a mucky backside in her face Xmas Shock

I don't know if she had a talk with him but she married (and later divorced) him, whether it was about his toileting habits I don't know.

If unwashed bottoms are as easy to smell as some posters make out, you’d think she’d have noticed his problem long before she got into bed with him! Grin
ShitsandGiggles2021 · 15/12/2021 15:44

It's quite ironic that this thread should make the Daily Fail.

A mate of mine once shagged one of those DM 'journalists' that lifts threads like this instead of doing any real work; he said she had a really hairy arse. Even took some pictures on his phone to prove it!

carbuncleonapigsposterior · 15/12/2021 16:02

If you are as regular as clockwork and assuming it happens at the right time of the day, then a shower straight afterwards is the best way of making sure everything is properly clean. Toilet roll is only effective if there isn't much left in the way of residue but that's not always the case, then the answer is no you can't.

suckingonyulelogs · 15/12/2021 16:09

@RantyAunty

DM comment section is hilarious. A couple favourites.

Use your fingers, write 111 on the wall.

Nettles make very good wipes, honest.

Another was "I wipe my arse on the Daily Mail", now there's an idea that should keep everyone happy
OhPeeQueue · 15/12/2021 16:14

Looks like RantyAunty enjoys reading the Daily Fail. Not surprised.

Kanaloa · 15/12/2021 16:17

Another was "I wipe my arse on the Daily Mail", now there's an idea that should keep everyone happy

What gets shittier and shittier the more it wipes…

Jobseeker19 · 15/12/2021 17:06

@ShitsandGiggles2021

It's quite ironic that this thread should make the Daily Fail.

A mate of mine once shagged one of those DM 'journalists' that lifts threads like this instead of doing any real work; he said she had a really hairy arse. Even took some pictures on his phone to prove it!

So funny and random
Milomonster · 15/12/2021 20:51

Currently abroad and this I my bum washer. Works a treat. I’ve never splashed water all over the seat.

People wiping their arses with mitts and flannels is a revelation to me.

I cannot imagine living life without using water after pee, poo, blood, sweat, and discharge.

What I wish to know is how people manage spontaneous sex without cleaning their arses with water?

To think there’s no way you can wipe your bum clean?
Trixiefirecracker · 15/12/2021 21:02

@Milomonster anyone will tell you that if you just wash you hands with water they will not be clean. Same as your arse.

Kanaloa · 15/12/2021 22:03

What I wish to know is how people manage spontaneous sex without cleaning their arses with water?

If I’m doing anything to anyone’s arse it will take more than a splash of water from a plastic bottle.

RedHot22 · 16/12/2021 08:00

@Milomonster

Currently abroad and this I my bum washer. Works a treat. I’ve never splashed water all over the seat.

People wiping their arses with mitts and flannels is a revelation to me.

I cannot imagine living life without using water after pee, poo, blood, sweat, and discharge.

What I wish to know is how people manage spontaneous sex without cleaning their arses with water?

At the risk of hearing tmi @milomonster

What do you actually do with that bottle?

dementedpixie · 16/12/2021 08:15

Yeah, where do you aim the water and how do you not get ot all over the floor and your clothes?

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