Failed 6th driving test. Can't bring myself to book test 7

[bellaella18]

Just failed my 6th driving test this morning. I'm absolutely gutted. I drove pretty well, completed the parking manœuvre correctly. However, when we got to the motorway, traffic was pretty slow and the examiner failed me for not having the appropriate distance from the car ahead ( he said I was too close, about a car's length instead of 2).

I feel embarrassed that I've let myself and family down again. I'm finding it so difficult to book another test.

Any help and support would be greatly appreciated.

From our personal experience I would also say ignore the reply about not being safe.

Eldest dd failed multiple times. Obviously it’s normal to be really nervous on a test, but she used to get incredibly anxious and would make silly errors. She had a break from it during which we moved house.

We’re very rural so it was essential really that she learned. I asked in the new area for recommendations for a driving instructor (more choice in the new area) and also was advised to check their driving instructor grade. If I’d have known about the grade before we never would’ve chose her old instructor, who was just one of the two ‘local’ instructors in our little town that everyone used, just not great in reality.

We chose a new highest graded and very experienced instructor and I can’t tell you the difference, she was on another level. She completely got the anxiety and worked so effectively and patiently with dd on her problem areas, brilliant at strategies to deal with any scenarios that could cause faults. She was so much better on teaching proper driving skills, reading situations and instilling more skills and the confidence to keep in control while feeling that level of nerves and anxiety.

Dd had lessons over the summer and passed on the first test with the new instructor with no faults. We used the same instructor with twin Ds and dd2 the same year, both passed with 1 fault and no faults.

Dd1 has now been driving three years and is a really safe, capable and confident driver, but she did very nearly give up.

So I would suggest you approach from a similar angle and would say don’t give up.

(Sorry not sure how to do a shorter link) finddrivinginstructor.dvsa.gov.uk/DSAFindNearestWebApp/findNearest.form?lang=en&_ga=2.215454034.431253498.1639295851-696386462.1638960477

@bellaella18

Thank you all so so much for your kind and supportive messages. Sorry, I meant to write a dual carriage way not a motorway.

Maybe if you don't know the difference between a dual carriageway and a motorway..... No am only joking - KEEP GOING! It sounds as if you are nearly there - it is not as if you are making loads of mistakes?

@BananaPant

Exam nerves are real. I didn't feel nervous about driving until an examiner got into the passenger seat. My driving instructor told me to book a test. Highly doubtful she would have done that if I was a disaster waiting to happen behind the wheel. I knew how to drive but the exam nerves crippled me. I've been driving several years now and have only had one bump, which the other driver was responsible for. (I was parked up in a car park, they drove into the back me while trying to park in the space behind). Whereas a friend of mine who passed first time crashed not long after and was lucky to escape unhurt.

Keep going OP. I recently passed on the 4th attempt but I think that there is an element of luck in it, and under slightly different circumstances I could have been having to book my 5th test.

Everything came together that day, and my nerves were less that time as I was expecting to fail again so had a bit of a "sod it, let's just drive and see what happens" attitude by the fourth time.

If it's at all possible, see if you can get your family member to join you for a day of constant driving just before the test. I did this, and we practiced the likely routes over and over the day before my test and it really helped in terms of my driving being more automatic and natural on the day and not overthinking things.

Also, if you haven't done so already, I suggest you pay to use one of the online services that search for cancellations to rebook you a sooner test date. This made a massive difference for me, as it meant that I could have my next test within a few weeks rather than waiting for months to try again.

I think there needs to be a limit on how many attempts you get.

Taking 20 odd attempts as some posters have said is perhaps an indication that you aren't cut out for it.

@SusieBob , some people get extreme exam anxiety and can drive perfectly well when they know it's not a test.

Your comment is simply kicking the OP when she is down, and you don't cite any evidence to support your assertion that there's a link between the number of test attempts and the safety of a person's driving.

@Fuuuuuckit

Fuck me op, if you've driven so poorly that you've failed 6 times, are you sure you should be driving?

You're allowed 15 minor faults and still pass, let's be honest that if things are going so badly that you've exceeded this level, I'd rather you weren't on the road.

£62 a go for the test itself, plus 2 hours of instructor time, never mind lessons in between. The financial cost alone is staggering.

It's perfectly OK not to drive. I have friends who passed first time but have never driven since. I have friends who've had a licence years but hate driving. I have friends who passed but are terrified and daren't drive on their own.

Who is piling on the pressure OP? Driving is HARD, and not all of us get it. Surely it's safer to not be on the roads rather than because you feel forced to.

Sorry, I know it’s harsh, but I have to agree with this. There should be a maximum number of times you can take a test (even if it’s so many a year) before you’re deemed unsafe to be on the road.

I HATE driving tests, they made me so nervous I made stupid mistakes and the feeling after sitting one and failing.......just awful. So loads of solidarity from me.

Don't give up. I eventually passed after convincing MYSELF I was a good driver, and telling myself not to worry about what the tester thought. I had a mantra "I am an adult not a child " and this really helped me.

Also, tell no one your test is coming up or what date it's on. Don't give up, you will get there

Do it. You're so close.

I don't know many people who pass first time these days.

Driving is a responsibility and a privilege - having a high standard to pass is no bad thing.

It'll feel amazing when you pass. And once it's done, it's done.

You can do it!!!!

Do you think it might be done to lack of driving practice?

If you are just doing lessons and the odd supporter drive by family in between, them maybe it's lack of experience.

You need to do more driving, get a family member to come with you as often as possible and during normal traffic rather than a deserted industrial estate on a Sunday.

The oy way to get good at something is practice practice, practice.

Then once you have enough road experience, you will have the confidence and experience to pass the test.

I passed by test but was still a rubbish driver until 2 years later. Only experience makes you a better driver.

If you quit now, it really all has been for nothing.

Keep going.

I passed on my 8th try! So you still have some time to go before you’re on my level! I am a great driver, by the way. Just terrible at testing!

I passed on my fourth attempt but I didn’t tell anyone I was doing my test which took the pressure off!

The first time I failed, I had 7 minors and one serious! I really wasn’t ready, to be honest! The second time I only had two minors but he asked me to parallel park on a hill in a tight spot (in reality I would just find another parking spot). Third time it was driving too fast on approach to a roundabout, fourth time I was okay! It may be completely unrelated but I was on medication the first few times. When I had a break and was off the meds, even the driving instructor commented on how much better I was! Might be unrelated but I don’t know! Are you on medication, op? Plenty of people drive absolutely fine on them bur some don’t!

Thank you for your encouraging messages

Don’t know if you’d be interested but I passed in my 5th time after getting hypnotised. Think it helped me relax more than anything. Also I don’t agree with people saying you shouldn’t drive if you do a lot of tests. It was the nerves of the test for me I am a safe driver never had an accident or issue in 10 years since passing

You haven't let anyone down at all.

It's no uncommon to take lots of gos to pass, especially as it can knock confidence to not pass so it becomes a vicious cycle. But of course we hear more about people who passed first time after 10 lessons and somesuch.

Sometime practising with a relative in the back of their car before rebooking some more lessons and a test can help, so long as that relative has the right sort of relationship with you and can let you get on with driving and not make it worse.

Sometimes taking a break from lessons and/or changing instructors really helps.

I would put it to one side until Feb or Mar and then find an instructor who has a good reputation for teaching women, older people, nervous folk or all the above, they often have a different manner about them which works (even if ther previous instructor was fine).

Another one here would fall to pieces with nerves and took 4 attempts to pass. And never had a driving fault since. Driving test nerves are awful. I ended up getting a moped and that gave me the independent road decision making experience I needed. It was close when I did finally pass as well, definitly double digit minors!

Get back on the horse and do it again. Sounds like you failed on a relatively minor and easy to correct point.

I passed on my 3rd attempt. On the 1st I committed a major fault leaving the test centre

Update - I have booked a test in a different area. Thank you all for sharing your stories with me. They have really helped me to pluck up the courage and give the test another try! Thank you

@bellaella18

Update - I have booked a test in a different area. Thank you all for sharing your stories with me. They have really helped me to pluck up the courage and give the test another try! Thank you

Good luck OP let us know how it goes!

@bellaella18

Update - I have booked a test in a different area. Thank you all for sharing your stories with me. They have really helped me to pluck up the courage and give the test another try! Thank you

Best of luck!!! xxx

I would like to let you all know that I sat my test today in a different test centre and PASSED with 4 minors! I can't believe it! But I am so glad, I went ahead and booked the test. Thank you all so much for your support

Well done @bellaella18!

Not just for passing, but for having the determination to keep going. Takes real guts- wishing you years and years of safe, happy driving

I passed on my 6th attempt - every time I failed I put off having lessons again for months or even years - the cost was horrendous and I felt awful. Eventually I got hold of my own car, a little Aygo, and I drove it, with my husband, most days and I had a weekly lesson in it and I took my test in it. Some of us need a lot more practise than others to get the hang of driving - I needed lots and lots of time. But I got there and it has been life changing - I now live in a lovely village and drive to a nearby town for work, which I absolutely couldn't have done without a driving licence. I can drive to see friends in other parts of the country and take my kids to after school things - it's fantastic.

Practise, practise, practise op!