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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think health professionals shouldn't shame people

526 replies

EmmaGrundyForPM · 11/12/2021 14:45

My son did not get a Covid jab. His rationale was that his risk of serious illness was very low even if he contracted it, and that all those who are at high risk have now been jabbed. I don't agree with that argument, and have had all 3 jabs myself, but respect that that is his view. He also suffers from anxiety and panic attacks.

He finally decided to have the vaccine, as he realises that various restrictions might impact on him (Covid passports etc) if he remains unvaccinated. So he went off yo the walk-in centre to get one this morning.

He's just got home fuming. When he presented himself, the person registering him asked him why he hadn't had his jab earlier. Why would that be any of their business? He then went through to the vaccinator who asked the same thing. He did explain that he had changed his mind because he wants to go to concerts and to visit his grandparents abroad. The vaccinator then said "that's a very selfish attitude, you won't have a vaccine to prevent people dying but you will to go on holiday".

Surely Health Professionals ought to be encouraging people to get vaccinated, not shaming them? I've given him grief about not getting vaccinated but I'm his Mum and he lives with us. I volunteer in a vaccine clinic and have always made a point of being really positive towards everyone who comes for their vaccine. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
EmmaGrundyForPM · 11/12/2021 17:38

@SpindlesAdventWhirl it's possible he made it up, but the only person he's said it to (so far) is me and dh, and it can't put us off as we've already been jabbed. As have all his friends. So I don't know what purpose it would serve.

OP posts:
JinglingHellsBells · 11/12/2021 17:38

@EmmaGrundyForPM Did they actually say that to him or did they query why he had not had it - and he's embellishing the whole experience?

It does sound rather far fetched.

XenoBitch · 11/12/2021 17:38

Just as Racist needs to be called on racism, Homophobes on homophobia and Sexist on sexism so to do narcissists need to be called on their behavior too

Narcissism? Are you for real? Are you a clinical psychotherapist?

Vapeyvapevape · 11/12/2021 17:39

@Wavypurple I agree

OverTheRubicon · 11/12/2021 17:40

Bollocks they said that to him. Either he's made it up to justify still not getting the shot and you bought it, or you did (and 11 pages of responses bought it.

JinglingHellsBells · 11/12/2021 17:40

IME the whole process is so quick and focused on getting the needle into your arm that chit chat and 'telling off' is unlikely to happen as there is a queue of people waiting for their jabs.

Sounds to me like a teenager winding you up and trying to make a point (of some sort!)

Viviennemary · 11/12/2021 17:40

I think fair enough. Thry are right. Its everyone for themselves these days.

TheSilveryPussycat · 11/12/2021 17:41

It is unprofessional. And entirely irrelevant.

If anything, they should be glad he changed his mind for whatever reason.

Thinkbiglittleone · 11/12/2021 17:41

@EmmaGrundyForPM just out of interest (and sorry if I've missed it) how old is your son ?

Porcupineintherough · 11/12/2021 17:42

Oh fgs he's not a narcissist, he's just self centred. Same as most people if truth be told. And doesnt like hearing a home truth or two- again, same as most people.

NerrSnerr · 11/12/2021 17:42

I agree with what some other PP have said. It's either a complete lie by an anti vax idiot or he's really exaggerated to prove some idiotic point.

SarahBellam · 11/12/2021 17:42

Well, he was selfish. What did he expect? A round of applause? Did he expect them to kill a fatted calf and have a feast in his honour because he deigned to show up once he realised he wouldn’t be able to go to a Coldplay gig?

missbunnyrabbit · 11/12/2021 17:42

That was so unprofessional of them. Doesn't matter what their opinion is.

Original poster
EmmaGrundyForPM · 11/12/2021 17:43

[quote JinglingHellsBells]@EmmaGrundyForPM Did they actually say that to him or did they query why he had not had it - and he's embellishing the whole experience?

It does sound rather far fetched.[/quote]
From what he said, the first person he spoke to, who booked him in, asked him why he hadn't been vaccinated before. As others have said, that might be to ensure there was no medical reason. Ds just said it was his choice and didn't elaborate. It was the vaccinator who pushed him about it, so DS was honest, and then got told he was selfish.

OP posts:
Original poster
EmmaGrundyForPM · 11/12/2021 17:44

@SarahBellam

Well, he was selfish. What did he expect? A round of applause? Did he expect them to kill a fatted calf and have a feast in his honour because he deigned to show up once he realised he wouldn’t be able to go to a Coldplay gig?
No, I think he expected to go in, have a vaccine, and walk out without any real interaction. Just like any other jab.
OP posts:
XenoBitch · 11/12/2021 17:44

@SarahBellam

Well, he was selfish. What did he expect? A round of applause? Did he expect them to kill a fatted calf and have a feast in his honour because he deigned to show up once he realised he wouldn’t be able to go to a Coldplay gig?
For some people, a round of applause would be amazing. Because some people are very hesitant, and they need all the encouragement that can get. I can tell you now, if I showed up to a vaccine centre and got shamed...I would turn around and not come back.
SickAndTiredAgain · 11/12/2021 17:49

I find it really hard to believe they said that to him, sorry.

Why? From the OP, it was only one individual who made the specific comment being complained about, about being selfish. Every profession has people who can make unprofessional comments, HCPs aren’t an exception to that. Unless you think no HCP has ever made a comment that was questionable in terms of its professionalism, I don’t know why this would be massively unbelievable.

MH1111 · 11/12/2021 17:50

Anyone exercising their freedom to choose despite their choice not being ‘popular’ or deemed to be the ‘right one’ should be applauded.

Blossom64265 · 11/12/2021 17:51

The comments were unprofessional.

The comments were also understandable given the mental stress of being on the Covid front lines. The people that I know who are working in Covid related health care are beyond burnt out. The vaccinators aren’t facing dying patients, but they are still spending their days getting physically close to unvaccinated people over and over and over again. They deserve a little grace for being less than perfect.

JinglingHellsBells · 11/12/2021 17:53

The person giving the vaccine is either a nurse, dr or pharmacist.
It's unlikely they said what he reports, but if they did maybe they have personal experience (loved ones dying), or just the end of a long day, that meant they said things that were unprofessional.

It wasn't right IMO (IF it happened) but equally I can imagine a HCP being really pissed off with people like your son and just snapping.

JinglingHellsBells · 11/12/2021 17:54

I can tell you now, if I showed up to a vaccine centre and got shamed...I would turn around and not come back.

what a childish reaction. What would it achieve?

How better to think 'ah yes, not very professional, but they have a point.'

ancientgran · 11/12/2021 17:56

[quote amusedbush]@ancientgran

I'm heartened to hear that they exist! I'm willing to travel but I'm in Glasgow so that would be pushing it Grin[/quote]
Yes that is a bit far but yes they do exist. My husband is 6ft retired police officer, he's arrested murderers, pulled people out of bombings but he was terrified of the dentist, if you said dent......... he's say no, no don't say the word and now he is on joking terms with a dentist. There is hope.

RobinPenguins · 11/12/2021 17:56

@NerrSnerr

I agree with what some other PP have said. It's either a complete lie by an anti vax idiot or he's really exaggerated to prove some idiotic point.
I don’t know, health care professionals can be unprofessional pricks too sometimes, like the rest of the population. It’s entirely possible he encountered one.
amiafreakofnature · 11/12/2021 17:58

I'm a vaccinator and it wouldn't occur to me to ask why someone hadn't had it earlier. They are having it and that's all that matters. Even if they are 'just' having it to go on holiday

XenoBitch · 11/12/2021 17:58

@JinglingHellsBells

I can tell you now, if I showed up to a vaccine centre and got shamed...I would turn around and not come back.

what a childish reaction. What would it achieve?

How better to think 'ah yes, not very professional, but they have a point.'

I have a severe needle phobia, so even showing up to queuing would be massive. If I was shamed, it would undo all the work I had to do to even get the the centre.